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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 21/04/2013 14:46

It's an offence if it's deemed threatening behaviour, particularly with a minor. If it involves screeching abuse and a minor? Deff criminal offence.

I don't think this was worth the coppers time, but OP's refusal to accept she was deeply in the wrong too makes me uncomfortable.

MmeThenardier · 21/04/2013 14:49

If you are still reading OP I would probably stop now. There are people on here who are so enraged that you parked across two spaces that they would be perfectly happy for you to thrown in prison. Based on this, further discussionon what ensued isn't terribly balanced...

giveitago · 21/04/2013 14:55

Well, you parked how you liked and obviously he's a much better parker than you as he managed to find a space next to you and got in inspite of you hogging some of it. Really don't see the issue.

Sounds like you don't like other people's children though. If it were my son who talked back to you after bathmouthing me having successfully parked in a spot even though you were hogging it, I'd be proud of my son.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/04/2013 15:00

MmeThenardier

Most people are annyed becasue of the OP's Entitled attitude and that she seems ok to believe that its ok to verbally abuse a teenager that suffers from anxiety.

Pigsmummy

Because his anxiety is about being in a supermarket?

happyyonisleepyyoni · 21/04/2013 15:07

Well I agree with the OP that the other driver is a tosser.

She had a fair enough reason for her twatty parking. he on the other hand has clearly appointed himself as car park attendant and set out to punish her for her bad parking by parking too close to her. And then calling the police on her for getting annoyed about it! What a needle dick.

giveitago · 21/04/2013 15:19

how come happy. If OP can park twattishly, why can't other driver park at all near her. He managed it fine. It was a space, albeit a small space because OP decided it was her enitlement to park across the two spaces, but her mistake was to leave enough space for the other to park. That person did so. What is her issue? She's the one who starts to bad mouth a person who has parked well but unfortanately comes across a teenager who doesn't like his parent being bad mouthed for parking in a parking space. Sounds like this teenager is a family orientated kid and good on him for making comments back.

Just bonkers that police are involved. But also bonkers that op parks across 2 places but not well enough for someone else to park.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 21/04/2013 15:21

I like the idea that this poor, anxious and yet gobby teenager was terrorised by the mother of small children! If any of my teenagers whined that they had been called a tosser then after checking circs I would probably reply 'quite right too'.

WorrySighWorrySigh · 21/04/2013 15:27

Sounds like this teenager is a family orientated kid and good on him for making comments back.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I would guess that currently this teenager is mortally embarrassed by his pompous parent making out that he is a poor anxious little baby who has to be protected at all costs!

giveitago · 21/04/2013 15:33

Oh get a grip.

One entitled person decides to thwart the attempts of another to park in a parking space by overparking. Didn't do it well so attempt fails and good parker parks in parking space. Op then imparts their highly honed sense of entitlement to their kids (nice one - endemic in our society) but didn't realise that their a)overparking wasn't very well executed, and b) there is a kid in that car who is hearing their parent criticized for their parking skills in PUBLIC parking, then I'd say good on that kid on answering back.

Clever kid - not clever OP. She pushed it - kid pushed back and won.

Gobsmacked at police taking it seriously. In fact walking down my street the other day police had stopped a car for causing and obstruction (trying to pull out into the street not very well) and I overheard police saying if you can't park to get your kid to school, why don't you just pull into one of the drives. Erm, what, park in someone's driveway? What?

BerylStreep · 21/04/2013 15:38

I do think the other driver was making a twattish point by parking so close to her, as the OP does say that there were loads of empty spaces.

But having noted that he was making a twattish point, why on earth would you give him the satisfaction of letting him see (via the son) that it had annoyed you?

Parking across 2 spaces is inevitably likely to result in this sort of confrontation. If the OP had just parked within the lines, the guy probably wouldn't have parked anywhere near her.

The OP still hasn't explained if she was able to get in on the other side of the car.

giveitago · 21/04/2013 15:48

Do we know the other driver was trying to make a twattish point or merely just seeing a space and parking in it. I'm a crap parker (but never park across two spaces) and then my dh is a parker of his country and hance a fabulous parker and will park as near to his destination as he can and squeeze into tiny places.

OP has been taught a really nasty lesson here in that her bad parking didn't work and she was caught out badmouthing the parent of someone who is clearly a good parker and doing nothing wrong. It's all got so out of hand. However, if someone was badmouthing me to her young kids who haven't got a clue and my ds overheard I'd be more than chuffed that he answered her back.

BerylStreep · 21/04/2013 16:07

''There were plenty of other spaces to park in. I was not affecting anybody. I am sure the guy did it on purpose.''

Tanith · 21/04/2013 16:35

How bizzarre!

If it was a Tesco carpark, it's on privately owned land. She therefore hasn't committed an offence in parking the way she did.

My cousin had an accident in one, due to another driver going the wrong way. She was told it was 50% her fault and that the arrows and space markings are just for guidance and not legally enforceable.

tiggytape · 21/04/2013 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddening · 21/04/2013 17:01

op why didn't you get your toddler in through the opposite side of the car? Just curious.

fwiw if the conversation was as you stated then it sounds like the teenager exagerrated to the police and backed down when you refused to apologise - which I wonder if that is their way of obtaining admittance to the crime from you?

additionally I drive a seven seater and find it is possible to park within the confines of parking bays in car parks - it is inconsiderate on your part to park in such a way as to take up 2 parking spaces. As inconsiderate as it is to park right up to another car. I also manage to get my toddler in and out of the car when parked within a bay next to other cars.

going forward don't engage in back chat with children.

happyyonisleepyyoni · 21/04/2013 17:08

The other family are the troublemakers, if the teenager was gobby enough to take on the OP I doubt very much he was genuinely intimidated.
The teenager has learnt a great lesson here about manipulating the authorities.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/04/2013 17:38

yoni

Or the police have said to him that they would have to take it further, it has provoked an anxiey attack and he is not in a fit state to take it any further.

TheAccused · 21/04/2013 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LadyBeagleEyes · 21/04/2013 17:51

Oh Op, you can't leave without telling us what you have in the glove box.
You loon.

KitchenandJumble · 21/04/2013 17:52

You have a special something in your glove box to thwart other drivers? What exactly are you planning to do? That sounds rather sinister.

Salmotrutta · 21/04/2013 17:53

But you did bandy words with the boy though.

I'm not saying it was right to report you but maybe he really did feel intimidated.

And whoever it was upstream who said the boy "hobby enough to take on the OP" - the boy didnt say anything until the OP started going off on one about selfish parking!

Salmotrutta · 21/04/2013 17:54

Erm, yes. What do you have in the glove box?

I hope it's not something that could be classified as a weapon?

You really will be in trouble then...

Even if its superglue.

Salmotrutta · 21/04/2013 17:56

Whoever said the "boy was gobby enough"

Not "hobby" Blush

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/04/2013 17:57

Just remember OP, that when you do this next time and you are putting whatever it is under their door handle (childishness, oh the hypocrisy) it might just be the dad that you meet and not the child.

I look forward to that post.

complexnumber · 21/04/2013 18:03

"I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'."

Hmm, sounds like an argument to me, and one in which you lost. Is that the problem? You lost an argument to a 15 y/o boy