HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

[TheAccused]

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty . Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

Spot on Kungfupannda....

OP, I'm glad things are sorted now. But, I have to say, you are in the wrong parking over the line. It's pure selfishness to knowingly take up two parking spaces, when the rest of us park more considerately.

We've recently got a large 7 seater, and it takes me loads longer to find car spaces in car parks now, unlike the previous car.
I would never be happy leaving the car parked over the line, as I woul worry about being blocked in, car door hit by another car, someone leaving a sarcy note or an actual parking ticket. I would drive around trying to find a space more suitable.

I think you're a bit 'you' on this subject. Everyone is telling you that you're in the wrong for parking badly. This whole bloody drama wouldn't have actually started if you had parked more considerately. You were in the wrong, and to have a go at someone else, teenager or adult, even though it was YOU who'd cocked up... Is completely bonkers. You are weirdly blaming the teenagers Dad!!! I just don't get your attitude!

Every bayed car park I know has a sign that makes it crystal clear that taking more than one space attracts a parking ticket.

Although of course the police wouldn't give a stuff - it has nothing to do with them.

I think there are a few people on here baiting the OP. trying to wind her up so that then they can say 'I told you so'...

So, OP. Considering all the events that have occurred as a consequence of your actions, will you handle things differently next time?

I think that if you can't park a car correctly, you shouldn't be driving it.

I also think that if you o something wrong, you shouldn't be surprised when other people do things wrong.

Hope that helps

I don't think the OP needs any winding up, she's done a damn fine job of winding herself up!

last week I inadvertently parked in a reserved bay in work (each department has a certain amount of reserved bays, which are numbered). When I came to leave work, a person from the department whose bay it was had parked their Range Rover across my car, blocking me in. It was clearly to make a point as there were loads of other spaces available. By the time the Range Rover owner had been located and asked to move, I was 1/2 an hour late picking up my child from school.

I honestly hadn't realised that I was in the wrong space - the spaces only have numbers on them. Anyway, I thought that the guy was being a dick making his point, but I popped a note on his windscreen explaining my mistake and apologising for any inconvenience.

It was annoying that I was late to pick up my DD, but at the end of the day, I had to accept the fact that I was in the wrong for parking in the wrong place (unwittingly) and shit happens. I certainly wouldn't have got into a confrontation with the driver.

OP, you do sound very entitled. I can understand how upsetting it was for the police to call round, but I really do think that you have been the author of your own misfortune, and you just don't seem to have the capacity to realise it.

To answer the earlier question - yes, a verbal complaint is enough for investigations to begin. Quite often someone is arrested on the basis of a verbal complaint and then the statement is obtained while they are in custody.

It looks like the complaint was made, the police acted upon it and would have requested that the OP attend the police station as a volunteer in order to avoid having to arrest someone with small children to find care for. In the interim, it transpired that the complainant wasn't willing to proceed - probably calmed down and thought better of it - so it was dropped.

Regardless of whether the Police needed to get involved- your are solely the author of your own misfortune.

You caused the situation, parked like a dick and gobbed off at a child, when you caused the situation in the forst place.

Didn't cover yourself in glory did you?

"If someone has parked over a line in the car park, would you deliberately park close to them to prove a point when you could have parked in the next empty space?"

Yes.

It gives me great satisfaction. Especially when the idiot managers with the big shiny Mercs do it at work where there is limited parking.

Learn to park properly. If you choose to have lots of children and drive around in a huge tank, then you may just find that in certain car parks, you're limited in where you can park. A couple of the car parks in my town have quite narrow spaces. Parking space is at a premium in many towns and cities nowadays so you just have to suck it up. It may mean having to inconvenience yourself slightly and park further away, or on street somewhere. And don't come back and moan that that's inconvenient because you have 4 children. That was your choice. You are obviously very entitled OP, and frankly you've brought this on yourself.

Don't engage with a teen would be my advice.

I agree with kungfu in that this situation may have resulted in a charge or a caution being offered.

Being charged is not the same as being found guilty in a court of law and I really don't think the OP would be found guilty in a court for this.I can't see it would make it to court.

I would certainly be willing to take my chances over that being the case rather than write an apology or accept a caution,in this situation.

But the Police obviously believed that there was no case to answer too as they have dropped it.It was,imo, clearly all based on what the other party said,and they cannot have been telling the full truth or they would have made a statement.

I don't blame the Police for responding to this btw,based on what they were told.

Hi OP - how are you today?

I didn't necessarily want to make this long thread much longer but just wanted to come on and say that I think you were given a hard time by a lot of posters on here and I sympathise with your situation.

I drive a small car and have frequently been irritated in the past by large cars parking over the line. However, having read your description of the circumstances you were in and the experiences you have had in the past I can quite see why you did it. If there were lots of empty spaces it is not as if you wre inconveniencing anyone else.

I cam also understand your irritation at some people not reading the thread properly. I can't belive the number of people who have posted variations of "If you can't park a 7 seater properly..." wheny you have explained clearly and fully why you did what you did.

Anyway - glad it is going no further. I cannot imagine what sort of a twunt would have called the police over something like this in the first place.

I am soooo glad I don't have to pay tax to fund this lunacy. Hire a decent lawyer and tell them to get lost, twatty ambulance chasers.

I think some of the posters who are accusing the OP of aggression and needing to improve her anger management ought perhaps to go back and read what they have written!!!!!

snuggly I googled double parking - this wasn't double parking. I feel like a right anorak!
plomino I read both your posts carefully. What I wondered was if the police had safeguards against being used to 'shame' a person when no crime exists.
Thank you for your explanation kungfu
humancatapult no answer to your question... I'd be fine with it but I seem to have low standards
accused namechanging was wise. I felt bad for you last night. I hope you are better today. I agree with 5

Thank goodness. Some reasonable people who think the OP was given an unnecessarily hard time by those who apparently failed to read the thread properly.

I don't think the OP has been aggressive at all. I think she is clearly frustrated that people are making stuff up as they go along or that some can't see past the bad parking (from both parties too) to the issue of whether or not she actually committed a public order offence and she could be punished without any proof.

I too think that the boy or his parents realised that in order to make a statement to justify the apology they would have to lie and so it got dropped and as such I am more inclined to believe the OP's version events than the boy's. If he was so sure that he had been verbally abused and assaulted and that he could have an apology without him even having to face the OP again, surely he would have been happy to put his statement in writing and to make sure he got the apology. He couldn't actually commit to that statement though, could he?

Fantastic thread. Particulalry enjoyed the hypocrisy and astonishing lack of self-awareness displayed by invoking the following:

"I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it."

"common decency"

Pisses me off that the OP can be put through this because of an allegation of behaviour likely to cause alarm/distress/whatever to the person who made the complaint,but they can drop it all without so much as a murmur,without being judged as to how much alarm and distress was caused to the OP.

If they truly felt so distressed by it all that they needed to make a complaint to the Police,surely they would have followed it through.

I can't blame the Police for responding but I think they took the wrong action.They should have established firstly whether this seemed to have any real basis rather than try to get the OP to admit guilt,by way of writing a letter of apology.

Very much agree with your last paragraph, VerySmallSqueak. The way the police operated in this case seems to be at odd with the principles of natural justice.

I'm surprised that shouting at someone in public is a criminal offence. I'm sure been shouted at once or twice in my lifetime, probably by someone suffering with road rage. It never occurred to me that I could make an offical complaint.

If the OP parked over the line into a second space, there would have been plenty of room at the other side of her car for her to put her children into her car.

She didn't need to squeeze in through the side nearest the other car.

And how was the boy supposed to know if she was talking to him or to her DC, as she says she was, when she started to complain about how closely they were parked?

And OP can you tell me if you are a regular who has name-changed or not.

If the boy suffers from anxiety why was he left in the car on his own? I think to make this go away just write a very short note to the family.

Next time park in an end space (like I just did in a car park) so that no one can block your door.