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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
Plomino · 21/04/2013 09:03

Lisbeth .

Absolutely a verbal complaint is enough for police to act on . Every time you get burgled ? You ring up and report it . That's a verbal complaint . Do you think we should wait until an officer has had the time to sit down and write the victims formal statement , which sometimes can take at least an hour , before going out to search for the suspect you disturbed going over your back fence ?

You might also want to go back a page for a comprehensive explanation of why police turn up , because frankly I cba to type it all over again . People think this kind of stuff is 'petty ' - right up until the point that they're on the receiving end . Then they want the offender hauled to the station in shame and handcuffs . Well make a choice .

Lottashakingoinon · 21/04/2013 09:04

That wasn't very helpful, obviously.

No, but it made me laugh Easily Grin

TheHumancatapult · 21/04/2013 09:06

ok completley of topic as such .but occasionally we found no space in disabled carparking so had to park our van in normal space and since these designed for cars our van goes over the lines ( long wheel adapted Renault master).would we still get a ticket or be something could appeal ? .as just no other option with vehicle that size if disabled parking full

VinegarDrinker · 21/04/2013 09:09

Yes, as I said earlier, I think the OP has anger management issues. Without sounding too prissy, imho you should be able to deal with minor irritations in life without having to "mouth off" in front of your young kids, regardless of whether the other kid was there or not.

Do the rest of you not have the kind of toddlers that repeat everything they hear? I don't want mine going around calling people selfish idiots or tossers.

totally failed in the not sounding prissy part there

Abra1d · 21/04/2013 09:10

OP, tosser means someone who tosses off, who masturbates.

VinegarDrinker · 21/04/2013 09:10

Also I am genuinely interested in the question I asked earlier with no response - why is leaving them in the trolley/buggy for a few seconds and reversing out of space not an option?

ajandjjmum · 21/04/2013 09:15

I genuinely can't see the problem in taking up two places in an empty carpark. I think it would be thoughtless in the extreme in a busy carpark.
(I don't need to do this - have a small car)

I am totally hacked off that Police have the time to take up an issue like this, but don't have the time to retrieve CCTV footage from a local store after we'd been burgled by five men, one of whom had used our credit cards in the store. Priorities.

Vinegar - that would depend where you were parked - if there was a walkway alongside, fair enough, but I wouldn't want to leave a pram at the back of another vehicle even for a short time - there are some idiots about Grin

BigBoobiedBertha · 21/04/2013 09:22

It isn't just that the police investigated the complaint and visited the OP - I get why they did that and had to do that - but the fact that she felt they had decided without taking her statement or having an interview that she was guilty and what she would have to do as 'punishment'.

EasilyBored · 21/04/2013 09:24

There are so many day to day things that piss me off, I would be in a permanent state of seething fury if I didn't make a conscious effort to not be bothered about the things I can't change.

I'm not sure where you stand legally, but agree you wet BU to get into a verbal confrontation about his dads parking. Also, I do think YABU to park over two spaces like that. It's just untidy and annoying.

VinegarDrinker · 21/04/2013 09:26

ajand surely it takes about 10 seconds to back out? Do you really think someone could/would get back to an empty car, get in and drive off into your DC in that time?! All without you seeing from the next parking space along?

GirlOutNumbered · 21/04/2013 09:28

When I first read this I was with you OP,I would never had apologised. HOWEVER, I just re read and the boy was well within his rights to point out he didn't park and you should have just backed down at that point.

You are the adult.

KittyAndTheFontanelles · 21/04/2013 09:31

I'm not sure if this point has been made already but why couldn't you just use the door on the other side of the car ? Confused

NotYoMomma · 21/04/2013 09:34

For someone who seemingly has anxiety...

You don't seem to know muh about anxiety...

someone who had a row at work with a bully and then signed off with anxiety disorder, despite having tried to stand up for myself

It was a bloody stupid comment though 'I can park where I like' while disputing that the other guy could park where he like. I actually had a chuckle

LittleFrieda · 21/04/2013 09:36

It's hopefully all on CCTV. Wink

You sound rude and aggressive, OP.

Christelle2207 · 21/04/2013 09:37

I'm surprised by police reaction but you were wrong to park over two bays. Appreciate it's annoying but surely you take annoyances like this on board if you buy a very large car.
We have a medium sized car and it really annoys us that those in bigger cars think they get a separate set of rules.

EmmaBemma · 21/04/2013 09:41

You were wrong to park over two bays. It's hard to know exactly how you behaved with only your side of the story to go on. Perhaps you were more aggressive and intimidating than your post suggests - but saying that, calling the police is a massive overreaction on the teenager's part.

BIWI · 21/04/2013 09:43

So anxious, and 'frozen with fear' but you still had time to go through the process of changing your name in order to post.

I don't believe any of this.

But it's entertaining reading for a Sunday morning I suppose Grin

MummaBubba123 · 21/04/2013 09:49

Who hasn't parked badly before? It's easy to do accidentally - and I understand the reasoning behind purposely parking over 2 so that you can open the doors for children. Sounds like the other driver purposely blocked you in. But that's irrelevant. I hope the police-related stuff is quickly resolved!

pipsqueakz · 21/04/2013 09:50

Ok this is interesting but what are your views on people who DON'T have kids parking in parent and kids parking bay???

JenaiMorris · 21/04/2013 09:52

This has nothing to do with parking!

OP verbally abused a minor. Thankfully the police consider this worthy of their attention, as do I.

Do you often react like this OP? Because one day someone will turn around and twat you. For your own good you need to be less confrontational.

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen · 21/04/2013 09:53

Selfish parker, bullied a teenager and doesn't think that's wrong, aggressive posts.

You need a serious attitude change. IMO you weren't a good role model to your children at all on this occasion. I'd be v embarrassed if I was such a bully in front of my DC.

Police involvement was wrong, and I'm very glad it's been dropped! I hope your fright wore off, I know the feeling of dread of an officer at the door.

Honestly, I do think you've embellished his words and minimised yours, but that isn't my business and either here nor there. If you did minimise your words though, I'd be thinking about ways to reduce your anger issues for your DC.

If the boy was just a cheeky liar, I hope the police scared him into behaving and not wasting police time.

However you really shouldn't park that way. It sounds like you can control your vehicle, so use one space. Using more than one will course trouble, so even if you don't mind how annoying it is, I wouldn't want your car keyed or damaged in some way.

My post tries to be neutral and see both sides. I do hope you learn from this, as well as he.

GrassIsntGreener · 21/04/2013 10:01

Why did you allow yourself to engage in that argument with a teenager anyway? I don't understand that I'd have just let that slide.

Not worthy of police time, however.

everlong · 21/04/2013 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Timetoask · 21/04/2013 10:16

I really despise people that think they can park however they want because they have a large car.
You were in the wrong
You should not insult anyone, even when angry
I would appologize the move on

Sallyingforth · 21/04/2013 10:17

Don't blame the police. They won't like doing this either, but if they have received a serious complaint they have to deal with it.
You sound very entitled OP. You can park how you like but others can't.
And learn to control your anger.