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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
MyDarlingClementine · 20/04/2013 23:07

The teen in question could have also used his eyes and common sense to deduce that another human was struggling with her DS, and maybe even offered to help.

I do not think that laughing when a small childs head is bumped is the sign of a timid sensitive teen.

I would like to think an interpretation of a sensitive teen would have been to have offered an apology, " I am so sorry, it seems we have parked rather close to you, can I help you in any way? "

I think a timid sensitive teen may have looked away and been embarrassed that his dad had caused this problem.

nenevomito · 20/04/2013 23:08

Indeed Mme. I'll act all contrite if they do.

Don't worry Vinegar - I'll stick a sign in the window that says "Tosser" to get the maximum effect.

Grin
VinegarDrinker · 20/04/2013 23:09

And btw, I am no saint, but I wouldn't have made angry remarks about selfish idiots out loud to my young DC in the first place. It hardly sets a great example to them. Sounds like you have some anger management issues tbh OP.

We sold our only car a few years ago, and it was only a tiny 3 door Micra anyway so excuse my ignorance, but surely if the worst comes to the worst surely you could leave your DC in the trolley/buggy/whatever you have used to transport them safely to one side and then back out of th space to open the doors. Or is there some reason that isn't pssible.?

DrHolmes · 20/04/2013 23:09

Do not apologise!

QuintessentialOHara · 20/04/2013 23:10

"I am of the opinion that the boy was in the car because he could not get out of the door."

Maybe that was on purpose?

schobe · 20/04/2013 23:11

There are many people so obsessed with 'rules' and raging about slight infractions like parking over lines that I can well believe they would park right up close to make their point. It doesn't seem to matter to them whether the infraction actually causes anyone any inconvenience, just that it could in some possible world.

I just wonder what else they have to occupy them to get so upset about minor rulebreakers tbh.

Plomino · 20/04/2013 23:12

I happen to be a police officer. I can tell you categorically now , that it wouldn't have made a teeny tiny blind bit of difference if the kid's dad had been the Met. Commissioner . In this day and age , other police officers are MORE likely to get fobbed off when it comes to reporting offences , not less . Someone tried to car jack me on the way to work , I foiled him , reported it , and it got 'no crimed' ( not classed as an offence ) because no one could say what the suspects intentions were when he tried to open he door whilst screaming 'get out the fucking car ' . Yes really . I couldn't even make a complaint as you can't complain against your own force .

The scenario above apart from the original incident has probably been along the lines of kid tells parent , parent reports it on the not necessarily true account of what kid has said . Report gets taken for sec 5 public order ( harassment alarm or distress ) . Home office and national crime reporting standards state that if on the balance of probability a crime has occurred then a crime report must be made . So there goes any hope of discretion . We are duty bound to record every CRIME. Not traffic accident , which comes under road traffic offences , which is a whole different set of rules . Enquiries then get made , like going and seeing OP to get their side of the story . Officer then goes back to the original victim and starts talking about getting a formal written statement . At this point the 'victim' sees his possibly exaggerated allegation becoming official , gets a touch of the seconds , and declines to make a statement . Everything gets discontinued .

I could do this all day every day . Often I do . Threats to kill via Facebook ? Oh yes . Name calling in playgrounds ? Absolutely . Parking rage ? Yes indeed . But. And let me emphasise this , there is NO SUCH thing as discretion . I certainly don't get to pick and choose what offences I get to investigate . We investigate everything that has a viable chance of catching someone . Now yes I agree that some things could be seen as a waste of police resources . But , when we get blamed for such tragedies as Fiona Pilkington ( although I agree that was a complete fuck up on our part , and I have to admit they do happen ) is it any wonder that police forces are going the other way and investigating EVERY incident , no matter how allegedly minor it may be ?

Make a choice . Either you want us to investigate these sorts of offences , and accept that yes , people are going to get spoken to that wouldn't normally come into contact with us , or you don't , but then don't complain when something minor happens to you yet police 'did nothing' .

MyDarlingClementine · 20/04/2013 23:13

bronteparsonage.blogspot.co.uk/2007/05/haworth-clampers.html

A lot of posters would do really well to work here.

BigBoobiedBertha · 20/04/2013 23:13

LadyBeagleEyes, it is not a fact that the boy responded to the 'aggressive' OP though is it? For him to respond she would have to have addressed him first. She didn't because she didn't know he was there. She wasn't aggressive either, she had a moan to her DC about the other driver's shoddy parking as anybody would in that situation, whatever the rights and wrongs of her parking. The boy had nothing to do with it. He should have kept quiet instead starting a conversation with the OP. What did he hope to achieve? His father's parking was just as indefensible as the OP's. If you deem her selfish then so is he. Why park so close to another car when you have the option to park elsewhere unless you want to make a point? A bit pathetic really made worse by moaning about it to the police and wasting their time.

KeepYerTitsIn · 20/04/2013 23:15

So you've decided the 15 year old boy doesn't, in fact, suffer from anxiety because he didn't look anxious to you? The child you struck up an argument with over something his father had done? When you had parked selfishly? Have one of these Biscuit. You sound lovely.

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/04/2013 23:21

I think that's what I said upthread BigBoobied, that both adults were in the wrong about the parking.
But taking it out on the teenage boy was out of order.
Which she did, unless I'm reading a different thread.

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 23:22

Honestly, an utter load of shrieking harpies on here tonight Hmm.

I have a teenager of my own actually so yes, I know what they are like. I also suffer terribly from anxiety/OCD and panic attacks and I normally keep my eyes down and avoid talking to people. This boy was quite happy to converse with me. I did not approach him. I am pretty sure, as has been said earlier, that the father deliberately parked close to me leaving adjoining spaces empty to piss me off as I had the audacity to park over the line. Son told him I'd spoken to him when he came back and that probably infuriated him some more so he decided to make up this allegation. Unbelievable how they immediately withdrew the complaint when I refused to apologise. Probably realised that they may have been in trouble for wasting police time.

Please, please, please tell me where I have been aggressive, either in my OP where I detailed my conversation with boy, or on this thread.

The dictionary definition of 'aggressive' is as follows:

  1. characterized by or tending toward unprovoked offensives, attacks, invasions, or the like; militantly forward or menacing: aggressive acts against a neighboring country.
  2. making an all-out effort to win or succeed; competitive: an aggressive basketball player.
  3. vigorously energetic, especially in the use of initiative and forcefulness: an aggressive salesperson.
  4. boldly assertive and forward; pushy: an aggressive driver.
  5. emphasizing maximum growth and capital gains over quality, security, and income: an aggressive mutual fund.

Yes, I suppose I invaded part of a neighboring parking bay, could that have been construed as 'aggressive' to the twunt who deliberately blocked my doors. I have posted replies under deliberate provocation regarding the fact that I did not verbally abuse or intimidate the boy nor am I a crap driver or parker. I don't see parking into a neighboring bay as being 'entitled' FFS! Most of you have jumped on that fact alone it seems, the fact that someone can make false allegations about someone and have the police banging on their door seems to be immaterial. I am sure if there were any witnesses, I would have been told. I wish there had been and the boy and his father could then have shown to be the lying weasels they are.

OP posts:
VinegarDrinker · 20/04/2013 23:25

You don't see swearing at a teenager as aggressive or verbally abusive, then?

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/04/2013 23:27

Aggressive: "Honestly,an utter load of shrieking harpies on here tonight"
Or do you call that reasoned debate Wink?

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notsoyoniface · 20/04/2013 23:35

cough cough bullshit cough cough

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 23:35

Er, no that's not aggressive. It's definitely not unprovoked either.

VinegarDrinker just for you from the dictionary:

tosser

slang ( Brit ) a stupid or despicable person

and I did'nt say it to him. I muttered it to myself and I an 'entitled' to mutter to myself whatever I damn well please.

OP posts:
TheAccused · 20/04/2013 23:37

Please define 'having a go' tiggytape.Hmm

OP posts:
sweetestcup · 20/04/2013 23:40

Never ceases to amaze me how selfish and entitled people can be, it doesn't matter if there are no other spaces used in the car park, cars can come quickly. And then someone cant get parked because someone else either cant park their car or park it deliberately like that.

OP you arent coming across very well at all.

larks35 · 20/04/2013 23:40

Going purely from OP and not bothering with the rest of replies:
YWU in the first place by taking up more than one parking space, then again with arguing with the boy when as he said himself he didn't choose where to park and finally by refusing to write a simple letter of apology. Do you really think it is reasonable to argue with a youngster about something they had no responsibility for? It is very likely he felt anxious after this dispute, he was on his own but probably felt it was his duty to defend his parent's parking.
You were out of order, but by all means refuse the write the letter, I just hope you end up paying for it down the line.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/04/2013 23:40

Oh Op, the last paragraph of your last post is so not aggressive at all.
I'm catching your cough now notsoyoniface Grin Angry
Can you please not spread your germs around?

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 23:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

apostropheuse · 20/04/2013 23:45

OP you do come across as rather an angry person.

ilovesooty · 21/04/2013 00:11

I don't see parking into a neighboring bay as being 'entitled' FFS!

No, I still hold the same opinion of you. You still sound unpleasant.