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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
MrsClown1 · 20/04/2013 20:00

OP - we all get stressed etc etc so Im sorry you have been flamed for being a human being with faults. As far as the police are concerned do not apologise. This kid sounds a cocky twat, as are most teenagers at some point. I agree with a previous poster - when I was a teenager I would have kept my head down and said nothing - my dad would have been more annoyed with me for arguing with an adult! Sadly, that time is long gone.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/04/2013 20:04

Nah Yoniids, people are people the world over.
Driving in major European cities means taking your life in your hands.
I'm sure there's just as many arguments in Oz, Canada and Brazil.

LadyBeagleEyes · 20/04/2013 20:05

My teenager has never been a cocky twat MrsClown1.
Speak for yourself Hmm.

BumBiscuits · 20/04/2013 20:06

Didn't you read it properly? People send them in.

Still applies Grin

cleoowen · 20/04/2013 20:06

OP, sorry but you sound quite horrible. It is frustrating when people park close but you started it by calling the Parker an idiot in the ear shot of the boy. I also think it was unreasonable to call him a tosser too even if it was under your breath. You sound very me,me demanding that you would park over two spaces next time.

Plus, it may have been empty when you parked but how do you know it was empty when the man next,to you parked? Maybe that space was one of the lady ones.

ilovecolinfirth · 20/04/2013 20:08

Mrsclown1... Most teenagers are cocky twats? Errrrrrr.... Don't think so. The cocky teenagers I meet often have cocky parents. Do you happen to have a teenager by chance?

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/04/2013 20:09

TheAccused

1/ have you looked at the website?

2/ (pendant alert) he takes pictures of people parking like a cunt, how does the website's name describe him when he does not infact park like a cunt?

RhondaJean · 20/04/2013 20:11

Pendant alert boney?

(bit of a fail) Grin

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/04/2013 20:13

epic fail.

But still the name doesn't fit.

landofsoapandglory · 20/04/2013 20:22

MrsClown My teenagers aren't cocky twats, thanks very much, never have been TBH. They wouldn't have argued with the OP either, but then DS1 drives and parks his own car so would probably have commented on her inconsiderate parking as he drove past!

RhondaJean · 20/04/2013 20:22

No you are absolutely right, but it gave me my best laugh of the day. Sorry!

millymae · 20/04/2013 20:23

My first thought was haven't the police anything better to do, but as someone one who only drives a small car I do get fed up with owners of vehicles like yours who seem to think that they have the right to park inconsiderately. In my view I think that this particular incident was half a dozen of one and six of the other in that although you had your reasons for parking as you did, you shouldn't have done so, and he could have easily chosen to park in another space rather than right close to you. I can't help but wonder what type of person goes to the police about a minor issue like this and how traumatised the lad actually was about the exchange of words if he had the presence of mind to get your car registration number. It all seems a bit odd to me,
It may well turn out as another poster suggested that the owner of the vehicle has connections to the police (did the policeman who called leave his name) and is trying to frighten you but in your shoes apart from keeping a detailed written note of what happened just in case you hear further I wouldn't do anything more for now.Have a glass of wine and put it to the back of your mind.

Abra1d · 20/04/2013 20:25

IF you called him a tosser than you did swear at him, didn't you?

Abra1d · 20/04/2013 20:25

'then' not 'than'.

ilovesooty · 20/04/2013 20:28

I agree with cleowen except that I'm not going to apologise for finding the OP unpleasant. Her insistance on parking over two bays in future sounds disgustingly entitled.

Oh, and the drip feeding for sympathy at 19:47 - way to go, OP.

marjproops · 20/04/2013 20:28

not read all posts so someone might have said this.

incident or not, why were you visited by the police when everfy single day there are the ***that park in disabled bays/p&c spaces etc etc and they always always ALWAYS get away with it, regardless of how many times they do it?

and maybe you couldt park on a p&c space as there were those ***who parked there. maybe you should tell poilce THAT.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/04/2013 20:28

RhondaJean

Made me chuckle as well :)

YoniiidsAreGreaterThanMine · 20/04/2013 20:29

Pendant alert. Heh, heh, snort.... (Serious face) yes, um parking. Police. Tosser. Please continue...

[giggling in corner]

HollyBerryBush · 20/04/2013 20:35

If the whole exchange in the OP were between a couple, there would be hell to pay because one of them is really quite aggressive and abusive.

Worth mentioning I thought

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/04/2013 20:35

I'm claiming too much Wine

apostropheuse · 20/04/2013 20:52

It's entirely possible that someone in the car park witnessed what happened between the OP and the boy in the car. It can't be presumed that there were no witnesses. It may well be that the police felt that there was good cause to go and speak to the OP about what had been reported. I just wonder what an independent witness would report about this. Of course I realise this isn't possible in a forum where you only get one side of the story.

I'm frankly astonished that so many people on this thread believe the police were out of order. I'm sure they have plenty to do without tracing the OP and driving to her home to speak to her without having a justifiable reason.

FreyaSnow · 20/04/2013 20:56

How either of the drivers parked is neither here nor there. The OP got into an argument with a 15 year old who had done nothing wrong. In the process of doing so she managed to hit her own child's head and swear at somebody else's child.

Certainly swearing at people and harassing them is a public order offence. I don't see how arguing with a 15 year old about something they did not do, are not responsible for and can do nothing whatsoever about is not harassment.

We all do things we're not proud of, but hopefully we acknowledge afterwards that we shouldn't have behaved like that. I think the police were being pretty decent to offer the option of the OP apologising rather than taking further action.

crashdoll · 20/04/2013 20:58

GUYS, PENDANT ALERT, PENDANT ALERT!! Grin

VinegarDrinker · 20/04/2013 21:03

You swore at a child and you still don't think you have anything to be ashamed about? Seriously?

Ilovefluffysheep · 20/04/2013 21:07

Great, another bash the police thread.

I am not even going to comment on the parking side of the matter.

Someone has reported a crime. Rightly or wrongly, as soon as its reported that's it, it has to be looked into. You would be the amazed at the crap that has to be investigated due to this.

The job will be given out to an officer who will then need need to speak to the complainant. They will give their side of the story. The officer then has to make a judgement call based on what they've been told, but this will nearly always involve speaking to the other party and this can be done in several different ways.

Sounds to me like the officer has dealt with it as best they can with the information available.

For those of you saying what a waste of police I've - yes I agree. However, once reported, it has to be investigated. All reports of crime are treated as truthful until evidence comes to light suggesting otherwise. Whether it be something minor like this or the other extreme of a rape allegation. Imagine the outcry if a report of a rape was made and the call handler decided it sounded like a load of rubbish and binned it off there and then.

Rightly or wrongly, the police were just doing their job, following up a report of a crime. I am sure the officer was so pleased to have to deal with this on a Saturday afternoon when there was probably lots of other worthwhile jobs coming in.

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