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AIBU?

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HELP! Police at my door - apparently I have committed an offence.........

650 replies

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 16:20

Police just came as they have received a complaint against me.

Yesterday afternoon I nip to Tesco after school pick up. No P&C spaces so I park further down in a row of which is almost all empty spaces. I have a large 7 seater (4 DC) and get fed up of people parking so close that I can't get the toddler into his car seat without a struggle, so I park a quarter way over the next space hoping no one will park in that space as there are plenty more empty spaces next to it. I rush round, get a call from DD as she has forgotten her keys and is waiting outside the front door at home, so go quicker, get outside and find some BUFFOON has parked in the space I have parked over, so close that I can only just about get the door open on the toddler's side. The next space was empty!

As a see this, I hold my hands up and say to the DC, 'For gods sake, why did this idiot have to park so close' not seeing that there is a teenage boy sat in the car. I was not actually talking TO him at that point.

Conversation then goes something like this:
Boy shouts out 'my dad parked it not me'. I say something like, 'well you should tell him that I parked like this so I could get my child in car, now I can't, he could have parked further along'. He says' you should'nt have parked over the line'. I tell him I can park where I like, there's no law against it. He says 'well we can park where we like as well'. I tell him it would be common decency for his father to make sure the next car can open their doors. As I am in a rush, I try to squeeze DS through the door, hitting his head in the process. He starts crying. The boy in the next car laughs. I take the trolley back muttering 'tosser' to myself and give him an evil stare as I drive off furious at myself for not parking in the middle of 2 spaces and for even having a dialogue with the boy.

So police just came and said I had committed a public disorder offence as I was 'shouting, screaming and swearing' at the boy which has left him very shaken as he suffers from anxiety. The boy wants a written apology from me and if I do that, it will not go any further. Otherwise I will have be interviewed and give a written statement.

I have said that I am not apologising as I have not committed any offence and the boy was mouthing back to me very confidently and did definitely not look anxious to me! I do actually suffer from anxiety and depression and this has completely knocked me for 6.

The police will call me to arrange an interview next week. I can't believe it. I am pretty sure I did not even raise my voice. There was no one else about except my DCs and they are adamant I did not shout or swear (I have even started doubting myself). I am going back to the store on Monday to request the CCTV footage but they are not sure if anything will show up in the car park and it probably won't have picked up my voice anyway to prove I was not shouting.

I cannot understand how the police can tell me that if I write an apology, they will drop it, when they have no proof that I did anything. They were making out I was guilty Angry. Does this constitute a public disorder offence? I was just about to go out with the DCs to park before the police came. I am frozen with fear now.

OP posts:
AuntieMaggie · 20/04/2013 19:33

You assume that the dad parked close to you on purpose and that the space the other side of him was empty when he parked there.

I think you were wrong to talk to the boy like that and should've kept your mouth shut. Even if you didn't shout or swear you were wrong to say those things to him. I suspect someone else may have witnessed it...

cleoowen · 20/04/2013 19:33

Oops, too soon pressing ths button. I would just apologise for an easy life. Although it does sound like they are trying it,on an exaggerating. What a waste of police time IMO.

FarBetterNow · 20/04/2013 19:34

The EmptyChild: An example of a very slow police response:
my friend's son had a disagreement with a man who was sitting in his high powered sports car in a supermarket car park.

The man drove directly at the my friend's son, breaking his leg and causing a split open head.
The driver then drove off.
The victim was taken to hospital by ambulance.
It was 14 days before the police contacted the driver to arrange an interview.

Oh yes and the driver is an outstanding Pillar of the Community.

nipersvest · 20/04/2013 19:37

have only skimmed the thread so this may have already been asked, but if the 2 cars were parked so close it was difficult to get in, why didn't you just go round the other side and get via those doors instead?

duchesse · 20/04/2013 19:39

A serious lot of you are confusing your own irritation at straddling parkers with the OP's situation of making the best of a abd job.

Madratlady · 20/04/2013 19:41

YABU to take up 2 parking spaces.

Would you think someone else taking up 2 spaces was BU if you couldn't get a space?

duchesse · 20/04/2013 19:42

But there were plenty of other spaces, the OP has stated that again and again and again.

nipersvest · 20/04/2013 19:42

we have a range rover, it takes me ages to painstakingly park it within the space lines, but i make sure i do since my mum and stepdad got a parking ticket in b&q car park for being slightly over the line.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/04/2013 19:45

TBH duchesse IMO there are too many strange points in the OP's opening post and subsequent posts.

YoniMaroney · 20/04/2013 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

jollygoose · 20/04/2013 19:46

Im suprised at the amount of spiteful judging going on with this thread, the poor accused was shocked to have the police call. The fact that she had parked badly was not the issue here, why do some of you feel the need to be so unpleasant?

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 19:47

LadyBeagleEyes what rage are you talking about exactly? I did not say it was his fault at any point. In fact when I asked him to pass it on to his father, it was in an exasperated tone.

I am of the opinion that the boy was in the car because he could not get out of the door. He started talking to me and continued talking. He seemed to find it a big joke.

I don't know why I bothered to post any details on this thread as you all seem to making them up as you go along!

I am actually most pissed off that when the police knocked on the door and asked my name, they then very sombrely asked to come in. As my DD had recently been picked up by a friend's mum to be driven to theatre school and DH was at work (he has a high risk job), I immediately thought the worst as there was no other reason IMO that they would have come to my door. I was trembling and ready to break down and later on burst into tears when they said that I would have to be interviewed all this in front of my other DC. I feel extremely humiliated actually. The police man and woman stood there deadpan. DCs asked if I was going to prison.

I probably asked for it as I parked over the line of the bay and engaged with a boy Hmm. I actually thought he was about 18. He had on a jumper with our local college's name. No school uniform.

Totally unnecessary and malicious as far as I am concerned.

OP posts:
Madratlady · 20/04/2013 19:47

It's still not fair though. In the same way you wouldn't just take more than your share of anything else that was on offer for everyone. In this case the other person could have parked elsewhere but it's still not on to straddle 2 spaces. It's greedy. Having children doesn't automatically give you the right to park inconsiderately.

Madratlady · 20/04/2013 19:49

It's sounds like a waste of police time to come round demanding apologies if the exchange between you an the boy wet as you say it did though.

Jinsei · 20/04/2013 19:49

The bad parking wasn't the issue, no, but for the OP to lay into some poor teenager when she was in the wrong was unreasonable.

TheEmptyChild · 20/04/2013 19:50

FarBetterNow I'm sorry your friend's son experienced a very slow response. I was making the point that I only know about two breach of the peace/public order offences and for both of them (despite being in different police jurisdictions) the police response was immediate despite the victim having no connection to the local police or holding public office or being upstanding members of the community.
Sometimes they just do respond quickly and it doesn't have an ulterior or sinister motive.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/04/2013 19:50

It has been pointed out that there is something on pistonheads about why people park next to other people in empty carparks.

I have seen the same thing myself as I always park in the furthest corner away from the supermarket and almost always come back to someone parked next to me.

longingforsomesleep · 20/04/2013 19:51

car parks generally have ridiculously narrow spaces - presumably to maximise profit. It really annoys me as I have a bad back and find it difficult to get out unless I can open the door fully. I regularly park over the line for this reason - but only when there are plenty spaces. Same as the OP I can't see any problem with this. I just have an ordinary sized car by the way.

Re the police, something similar happened to a teacher friend of mine. Not car related, but she was grabbed and screeched at by an angry parent at school. My friend notified the police who said that the woman was claiming my friend had assaulted her! The police were very aggressive with my friend and accused her of lying. They only backed down when shown cctv footage which backed her up.

I'm glad the police have told you that charges are being dropped OP. If they hadn't it would have been your word against the boy's and with no witnesses you definitely should have called their bluff.

BumBiscuits · 20/04/2013 19:52

youparklikeacunt.com/

nuff said

BumBiscuits · 20/04/2013 19:52

sorry

www.youparklikeacunt.com

Sparklingbrook · 20/04/2013 19:56

That website was linked to at 16.41 Bum.

tiggytape · 20/04/2013 19:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheAccused · 20/04/2013 19:57

BumBiscuits so the creator of that website goes around taking pictures of how people park their cars and posts them on a website. I think the website name more aptly describes him then anyone else.

OP posts:
YoniiidsAreGreaterThanMine · 20/04/2013 19:59

A parking thread running to 12 pages...( shakes head)

Only on MN. In fact, only in the UK. I think our tiny island is to blame for all this road rage and parking angst. I can imagine they have acres and acres of parking spaces in bigger countries, maybe Canada or Australia or Brazil.

(Wistful)

Lizzabadger · 20/04/2013 19:59

You shouldn't have parked like that.
Just write the apology with your fingers crossed behind your back and be done with it.

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