flat snobs and bedroom tax!

[limetictacs]

I thought that with the housing benefit cap people would actually want to do a mutual exchange but I've been shocked at the amount of people who immediately go "no flats"- (we live in a 2 bed and are after a 3 bed house). One person even said that they needed a house as they had a dog (er- we have a young child and a baby on the way. Besides there are many other people who have dogs in the block!).

AIBU being pissed off that so many people are so snobbish about living in a flat? I'd like to add that these same people want to complain about having to pay for an extra room- some have actually complained to me and expect me to sympathise. It also pisses me off when people say they would move but there are no 2 bed properties available when there are way more people with 2 beds in my area than 3 beds. Aaaargh!

InLovewithDavidTennant and other house lovers...

Of course it's your choice! I don't think anyone would begrudge you that. I am interested in why you think a house is so much better though? If you lived in Manhatten or Paris would you be unhappy to live in a flat?

What do you think it offers you?

This is not aimed at you in particular, but personally I have a sense that people who declare that they would NEVER live in a flat through their own choice, even if it was in a fabulous area, come across as a bit closed-minded, possibly quite anti-social and uptight. I suppose I have the impression that they maybe haven't ever (or would consider) living abroad, and that they would prefer a dull suburban environment to a fun city neighbourhood. I can see that people with big households, pets and kids may feel the need for a garden, and have to make compromises about the areas they can afford a house in, but I can't see why people would choose to restrict themselves to houses only. I speak as someone who loves living on the doorstep of cafes, restaurants and bars, I love to walk into work and to have friends nearby. I would hate to commute and have to go to the shops in a car. Moving to a house in the suburbs would be a huge compromise for me.

Can anyone divest me of my prejudices?

a fun city neighbourhood? i live in a city!

the next road over from me is full of shops, cafes, take outs etc. there is a sainsbury's at one end of my road and a post office and library at the other. im also a 25 min walk from the city center. there are busses throughout the day and evening. a local train station 15 min walk away. hospital, doctors and dentist are all also 20 min walk away. there are 3 big parks and a boating lake near me. dh works in part of the uni and that a 10 min walk away. we are in the middle of everything

everything i need is in walking distance. the biggest tesco in the country (so ive been told) is also in walking distance.

Oops - looks like I asked the wrong person! Your set-up sounds great.

I couldn't afford a house in the city as they are very rare where I live, so if I wanted a house I'd have to move to the suburbs. That's not something I'm prepared to do just to live in a house. I'm just wondering if having a house is such a deal-breaker for some people that they'd always prioritise a house over the area. It's been a while since I lived in England, so I guess I'm also forgetting how common terraced housing is there.

I'm also interested in what exactly people feel the difference is between a house and a large flat. If a ground floor flat had a bit of garden, the same number of rooms, the same square footage, would the house always win? If so, why? What's the psychological difference?

'What's the psychological difference?'

No upstairs neighbour.

Of course it's your choice! I don't think anyone would begrudge you that. I am interested in why you think a house is so much better though? If you lived in Manhatten or Paris would you be unhappy to live in a flat?

But most of us don't live in exciting places like Manhatten or Paris where flat dwelling would be the norm. Or Amsterdam, where flat dwelllers also have tiny summerhouses just outside the city where they go to at weekends.

OP has said she lives in a village, so any swapper would have none of the benefits of urban living. The town I live in has houses, even social housing, within walking distance of the city centre, so you don't even have to move to the suburbs to live in a house. Not that our city centre is exactly a vibrant fun city neighbourhood. Our council did embrace the flat dwelling concept in the late 60's but the flats became unpopular, so they are allocated to first time tenants until they can amass enough points to transfer to a house.

All the towns / cities that I've lived in have had houses within walking distance of the town / city centre.

I love flats! I own a big, freestanding house but I am much happier living in a flat. I currently rent a big new build flat with a roof terrace but am looking to move to an old/ historic type conversion that has had recent renovation. I've had some amazing flats - flats rule! My friend who's an estate agent and owns two lovely houses agrees.

Admit though, location is everything...

I live with DH and two ds's in an appartment in an exciting-ish French city. And comparing our experience with my SIL who lived in an ex-council flat in Edinburgh I can see why flat-living has such a negative image in the uk. Two key differences, in the private market at least. Here every appartment building is managed by a regie, who look after all the communal areas, inside and out, and often employ a concierge as well. So our building is beautifully maintained, the concierge even polishes our nameplate for us! Secondly, rents are generally too high for gangs of students and young people to take on flats together. Most students live at home here. And one other thing - the city is designed for flat dwellers / numerous small well equipped play parks, and - it has to be said - nice weather to enjoy them. Sometimes I would love a garden, but I certainly don't get any sense of being hard done by or in any way unfortunate for living in a flat - everyone of ds's school friends do, and most of our friends. My SIL OTOH had all the things mentioned upturned at some point - noisy neighbors, bags of rubbish left rotting in the stairwell, rowdy student, broken intercoms never fixed, communal garden left to turn into a jungle, broken glass on the floor, people peeing in the stairwell. She wouldn't live in a flat again if you paid her.

My dad is a flat snob though. He's country born and bred and the idea of living surrounded by other people appalls him! I think anyone who says 'I could not bear to live as you do' is being snobby about something.