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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to bed fed?

113 replies

changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:05

We live in Asia. DD(3) had a nasty accident last night. She broke her wrist and elbow, and needed wire putting in both, under GA.

Doc saw her this morning, couldn't discharge as he hadn't seen the X-rays taken before he came to tell if surgery went well. It is 4pm here, he still hasn't come back. Spoke to nurse, who first said to expect him at2, now 7. Discharge after that usually takes 2-48!! Hours, because they won't discharge until the insurance has gone through.

I have been given nothing to eat or drink since we arrived, at 5 pm yesterday. DH came for a bit pre surgery last night and also this morning. Last night was too much of a stress/ rush for food for me to be a priority. He came this morning with some coffee and a sandwich from the cafe (which only sells sandwiches, and horrible ones at that).

Dd is 3 and freaked out. I can't leave her but I am so hungry! DD also hungry, her lunch arrived (kids meal) covered in chilli sauce, and they wouldn't replace. DH coming back soon once the baby is awake, and will bring food but , well, AIBU to think the hospital (private) should give me ksomething, and replace DD's lunch?

Also no sleep last night, as only chair provided, which is fine but in conjunction with no food I am getting pissed off.

OP posts:
Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:08

Sorry, title should be to be fed

OP posts:
ThreeWheelsGood · 17/04/2013 09:09

But you're not the patient? In the UK you wouldn't be fed either. YABU.

TeeBee · 17/04/2013 09:09

You think the hospital should feed you? Why would they do that? I think they shouldn't pour chilli sauce over a 3-year olds food and then refuse to replace it.

ThreeWheelsGood · 17/04/2013 09:11

Also did you let your DD try the kids meal? Presumably it's appropriate for kids?

Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:11

I am with a child that can't be left though. They told me not to leave her (not that I would anyway)

OP posts:
Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:12

Her meal was fish. They told me it was ketchup all over it (I specifically asked for nothing spicy). It was chilli.

I picked the fish bits out of the breadcrumbs, so he had one. She's asleep now and fine really, but it's not ideal.

OP posts:
TeeBee · 17/04/2013 09:13

Then get someone to bring you some food from outside. It's not the hospital's responsibility to cater for everyone who walks through the door. How could they manage that?

dreamingbohemian · 17/04/2013 09:13

I can totally understand why you're upset, but I think unfortunately YABU because hospitals can't be expected to cater for everyone. Realistically your DH should have brought a good supply of food for you both -- even in the UK when I've been in hospital we stocked up on our own food because things can always go wrong.

I really don't blame you for being ticked off though. I hope you can both go home soon!

ThreeWheelsGood · 17/04/2013 09:13

Sadly I think you're just grumpy from hunger and lack of sleep (I would be too!) - they shouldn't be expected to fed you. Your DP should've been providing for you.

LittleBearPad · 17/04/2013 09:14

If DD didn't want any of her lunch why didn't you have it? It would be something.

They should replace her meal though regardless of whether you eat it.

Thewhingingdefective · 17/04/2013 09:15

YABU to expect food to be provided for you. Not U to expect an alternative to chilli sauce for your child.

I know you're not in UK, but why can't you leave your child to go get food?

When I have been accompanying any of my DCs in hospital, nurses are happy for parents to leave ward to go get snacks and drinks.

Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:16

I've stayed in children's ward in uk with DCs before. BF mothers get food, but all get tea and toast. A cup of tea wouldn't be too much to ask would it?

OP posts:
diddl · 17/04/2013 09:19

Well maybe the food wasn't considered spicy/unfit for children?

I agree with others that OP isn't the hospitals responsibility.

Why does your husband have to wait for the baby to wake up?

Could he not ask someone to watch them or ask someone else to bring food??

Thewhingingdefective · 17/04/2013 09:20

Yes, you're right about BFing mums - I got fed.

You sound understandably very tired and hungry which does frazzle your mood.

I would just ask for a drink - if they say no, you're no worse off. Just grab a nurse, say you understand they are busy, but you feel faint from lack of food and could you have a cup of tea.

Hope your DD is okay and gets discharged ASAP.

Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:20

Can't leave Dd as she is freaking out, basically.

Picked all the fish out of its breadcrumbs, so I suppose I could have aten breadcrumbs and chilli sauce...

Ok, IABU.

But I'm also very upset.

OP posts:
TeeBee · 17/04/2013 09:20

But the BF mothers are the patients too in a maternity ward.

Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:21

Home not near hospital, nor near people who can help.

OP posts:
Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:22

We're talking children's ward not maternity ward, not that it matters, totally agree they should be fed and understand why.

OP posts:
TeeBee · 17/04/2013 09:22

Sorry, realised you meant a children's ward. Understandably you are worn out and hungry though.

Thewhingingdefective · 17/04/2013 09:23

Tee bee - No, mums on children's wards. Different to maternity.

ivanapoo · 17/04/2013 09:23

YANBU to be tired and hungry and therefore irritated.

However if you were really hungry you would have accepted the sandwich your DH bought, and gladly.

diddl · 17/04/2013 09:23

So you've been 24hrs without food?

And your husband hasn't been there in all that time?

Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:24

What do you mean it wasn't considered spicy? It was covered in chilli sauce. I asked for nothing spicy. Then when he gave it to me I asked for clarification that it was tomato not chilli. He said it was tomato. It was chilli. I think they just made a mistake. Fair enough I guess

OP posts:
Thewhingingdefective · 17/04/2013 09:24

Sorry Teebee. Got interrupted so cross posted.

TeeBee · 17/04/2013 09:24

Once, when my uncle got sick and tired of waiting to be served at a restaurant he picked up the daffodils on the table and started eating them. They came immediately then! Could you try something like that Grin

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