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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to bed fed?

113 replies

changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:05

We live in Asia. DD(3) had a nasty accident last night. She broke her wrist and elbow, and needed wire putting in both, under GA.

Doc saw her this morning, couldn't discharge as he hadn't seen the X-rays taken before he came to tell if surgery went well. It is 4pm here, he still hasn't come back. Spoke to nurse, who first said to expect him at2, now 7. Discharge after that usually takes 2-48!! Hours, because they won't discharge until the insurance has gone through.

I have been given nothing to eat or drink since we arrived, at 5 pm yesterday. DH came for a bit pre surgery last night and also this morning. Last night was too much of a stress/ rush for food for me to be a priority. He came this morning with some coffee and a sandwich from the cafe (which only sells sandwiches, and horrible ones at that).

Dd is 3 and freaked out. I can't leave her but I am so hungry! DD also hungry, her lunch arrived (kids meal) covered in chilli sauce, and they wouldn't replace. DH coming back soon once the baby is awake, and will bring food but , well, AIBU to think the hospital (private) should give me ksomething, and replace DD's lunch?

Also no sleep last night, as only chair provided, which is fine but in conjunction with no food I am getting pissed off.

OP posts:
Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:24

I ate he sandwich. 8 hours ago.

OP posts:
Kiriwawa · 17/04/2013 09:25

You don't get fed in the UK either, nor do you get a bed.

DIYapprentice · 17/04/2013 09:25

Spicy fish as a children's meal - I'm assuming you're in a country where this is standard food.

TeeBee · 17/04/2013 09:26

Kiri, in the UK this is sometimes the case when you're the patient too!

Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:27

Do get a bed in CW I've stayed in before.

Food here often spicy, but very rarely do kids here eat spicy food.

OP posts:
dopeysheep · 17/04/2013 09:27

Can you ring for a pizza?

Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:27

Dd waking, going now, will return

OP posts:
DIYapprentice · 17/04/2013 09:28

Oops, posted too early.

It's a bit crap that they don't have anything available when you can't leave your child - a lot of people wouldn't have someone else that could get them something to east. Maybe not a meal, but certainly a biscuit, or some toast, and DEFINITELY a cup of tea!!!

In an emergency I'd often be stuck to even have cash on me, so could only be able to get myself something to eat if I could pay by card or if they have a cash point around.

Morloth · 17/04/2013 09:28

Order a takeaway.

If you are somewhere like singapore or HK or whatever it shouldn't be a problem.

diddl · 17/04/2013 09:29

Because some people wouldn't consider chilli sauce spicy!

Could have been a genuine mistake, of course.

But then if there's only a cafe selling sandwiches that you don't like, you're pretty stuck until your husband sorts something out/takes over.

In fact even if there's a canteen you're stuck if your child can't be left!

Sirzy · 17/04/2013 09:29

You said your husband has been in so why didn't he bring you food?

Not having an alternative for your child is a bit of a pain but of course they shouldn't feed you.

Its one night, DS was in for 10 nights and I was never provided with a meal. there are people in for months who are never provided with a meal as they aren't the patients. Its a pain in the arse but thats how things have to be patients get fed, relatives dont.

I hope your daughter is better soon

Sirzy · 17/04/2013 09:30

You don't get fed in the UK either, nor do you get a bed.

In my experience you do get a bed. An uncomfy pull out thing but its a bed none the less.

givemeaclue · 17/04/2013 09:31

Is there a vending machine? He not, you husband will need to bring you some supplies

Tailtwister · 17/04/2013 09:32

I understand how difficult it is OP. DS was hospitalised when he was 10 days old and I just didn't feel able to leave him, even to go to hospital shop. I was given breakfast as I was bf, but had to get DH to bring in food for the rest of the time. Unfortunately it's just not possible for hospitals to provide parents with food though.

As for your DD's food, yes they should replace it with something she can eat. She is the patient and should be fed.

YoniMaroney · 17/04/2013 09:33

Are you in Bali? KL? Singapore?

IME in Indonesia children aged just 1 year eat food so spicy that most British adults would wince. The chili sauce, is a form of ketchup and would not be considered 'spicy', even though it does contain chili.

Other countries work to different standards, for instance in many hospitals you wouldn't be fed at all (relatives would be expected to provide), and it would be normal for relatives to sleep on the bare floor also. I think YABU to expect a fully 'western' experience.

diddl · 17/04/2013 09:35

Sometimes though when you're in hospital unexpectedly, all that is available is a meal that someone who has been discharged ordered.

jacks365 · 17/04/2013 09:36

When dd4 was born i was taken in as an emergency case, dd2 was with me and the midwives couldn't have done more to accommodate her and keep her fed, not easy on a Sunday evening to get anything elsewhere, dd4 is 17 not a toddler. No they don't have an obligation to help but some consideration would be nice can't understand why dh didn't bring food with him for the day though.

dreamingbohemian · 17/04/2013 09:38

Yes, in some countries you not only have to bring your own food, but your own medicine, linens and bandages.

Just make sure your DH brings a ton of food later.

Pisspoorresults · 17/04/2013 09:39

When my breastfed DS was in hospital I was told I couldn't leave him, nurses were too busy to let me go for a tea or food. My husband was at home looking after DC. In 72 hours I only had a sandwich though plenty water.

They knew I was breast feeding a 6 week old baby yet every time I asked for just 10 minutes to grab something at shop the nurses were too busy.

Is sleeping on Chair not the norm?

YoniMaroney · 17/04/2013 09:40

Also 'private hospital' can be a very variable concept in these countries (depending on which one) terms of price, comfort, etc., and maybe merely distinct from 'government hospital' but not necessarily in a good way.

Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:43

We were expecting to be discharged at 2. No idea when now...

DH will be here in an hour, so can have something then.

Not sure AIBu was the right placebo come

OP posts:
Original poster
changeThatNameRightNow · 17/04/2013 09:44

Place to

OP posts:
HenrySugar · 17/04/2013 09:44

OP where in Asia are you?

I understand you're upset but just try to be glad that your dd is ok and got the treatment she needed. I live in a very remote part of Asia and one of my background worries is always what we would do in a medical emergency as there is nothing up to standard where we are. Fortunately all we've had so far (in 2 years) is 3 stitches in dd's eyebrow.

And yes, children in Indonesia all eat chilli sauce on everything. Food is not served without it.

BegoniaBampot · 17/04/2013 09:51

The chilli sauce looks identical to tomato sauce and is spicy. probably they did think it was ketchup and it was a mistake. ask for a cup of tea, they probably won't think to offer anything unless you ask. they were much like to follow rules and everything to the letter.

everlong · 17/04/2013 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.