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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a daft suggestion

128 replies

idontbeeleaveit · 15/04/2013 21:32

Am going to be working away during the week, returning at weekends for a short period (5 weeks.) Original plan was to stay in a premier inn and work are paying for this (I am going to be going to a new workplace just to bridge a gap on a temporary basis.)

DP tells me I should, on my first day, announce in the meeting that I need somewhere to stay during the week.

I can't think of anything worse. I don't want to stay in a stranger's house, I'd feel really embarrassed at asking and after a day at work I want to chill out, watch bad TV and eat takeaways, but DP thinks I should save the money.

I can see his point but I really don't fancy it. AIBU?

OP posts:
GeneHuntsMistress · 15/04/2013 22:09

Oh I know, it sounds good but IRL would be very homesick. But look on the bright side, you can control the remote and no getting up in the night..... It's not for long and you don't have to share with a stranger Grin

Original poster
idontbeeleaveit · 15/04/2013 22:10

I sometimes do piglet but it always turns into a row and at times, I really can't be arsed with it.

Thing with the umbrella incident was, DP is from a small village where everyone looks out for each other and everyone is related to each other. He genuinely won't have for a moment thought he could be scaring someone. Doesn't excuse it though, I know: his over familiarity with people is cringeworthy.

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 15/04/2013 22:11

Ys, I was enjoying this thread but now it's getting a little odd.

PUT YOUR HEATING ON WHEN IT SNOWS!!!
Don't let your DH approach woman in a city centre at 3 in the morning.
Don't drag your toddle into town in order to save on parking.

Is your DH odd around food too (just testing out a theory of mine)..?

aldiwhore · 15/04/2013 22:13

Regarding marital bliss for the future, do what the fuck you like, LET HIM STRESS.

Same applies to the hotel situation.

Do not get angry, keep the comedy value alive and well by not letting it get to you, play the game. My DH has his quirks, though mild, he loves a fire, he lights the fire so it's raging, then goes and has a bath, meanwhile, I'm sweating buckets with the windows open. I don't get cross, we don't row, he does his thing and I gleefully allow the fire to go out (whoops I spilt a bucket of water on it), he asks why I let it go out, I pretend I don't understand the concept of fire. It's a game. He's lovely. He's also a massive PITA that could probably turn me into a banshee given half a chance, I give him 1/4 of a chance for pure amusement. x

Hopasholic · 15/04/2013 22:13

Tell him you promise to pilfer all the salt, pepper, ketchup, tea, coffee & sugar sachets.

That'll cheer him up Grin

Not to mention, shampoo...... Conditioner.......crap sewing kit........ Dodgy shower cap.........

You could make him a goody basket!

Original poster
idontbeeleaveit · 15/04/2013 22:13

Other than eating food months and sometimes years out of date (he freezes it) and having a stomach like a binbag, no Grin

Nonno - be fair, I was asleep in bed when he approached the woman at 3 am. Not my fault. He isn't a puppet and I don't control the strings.

OP posts:
Original poster
idontbeeleaveit · 15/04/2013 22:14

Hopa - will do. The bathroom cabinet is full of them. Blush

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 15/04/2013 22:15

Sure - that was a mad comment of mine. I apologise.

MrsOakenshield · 15/04/2013 22:15

Sorry - was meant to be a light-hearted comment. (Though - that is what the scandal was about, wasn't it? Jacqui Smith claiming living expenses whilst living free with her sister, etc etc? And if you were staying free somewhere you wouldn't be incurring a living expense, would you?)

Original poster
idontbeeleaveit · 15/04/2013 22:17

But Mrs Oakenshield ... groan ... I would get it regardless of where I lived, what I ate, what I did. It's not like I'm an MP either, I didn't sign up for a job that would take me away from my family for over a month.

Come on. If your employers said "we want you to work nearly 3 hours away for 6 weeks but we're not going to pay you any extra" would you go for it?

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 15/04/2013 22:17

You can't STOP your DH being himself. To be fair. I'm from a small village too, but I turned out rather wicked. Park and ride idontbeeleaveit or happily drop your DH off and go find a nice space.

Many quirks have roots in some kind of sense so I wouldn't dismiss him completely (flip it, if you were weird a loving man would allow for your weirdness wouldn't they? Only a bastard would outrightly disallow you from being you? Surely?) just work it, play it, don't let it impact on your weirdness (sorry, individuality) if he's a good egg, it's not worth fighting over, but weaving around.

footyfan · 15/04/2013 22:19

YADNBU!

I had this in reverse. I was due to stay in a hotel, just for a week thankfully - and a new colleague offered to put me up at his house. I didn't want to offend - so agreed.

It was the longest week of my life. The family did nothing in the evenings, so we sat and watched TV in virtual silence. The room I had was right next to theirs, I could hear every movement - I kept dreading I was going to hear them having sex and have to put some music on!

If your DH insists it's such a great idea - tell him you're going to put an ad in the local paper for someone to take him in for 5 weeks - and see if he thinks that sounds like fun!

Under no circumstances ask anyone! Enjoy the hotel!

aldiwhore · 15/04/2013 22:19

hopasholic you are my thread hero. A BASKET!! (include an umbrella) Grin

Original poster
idontbeeleaveit · 15/04/2013 22:21

God poor you footyfan

DP would probably love that, he'd be able to bore them to death talk to them all evening! Privacy, personal space and winding down are concepts he doesn't get at all!

OP posts:
Superene · 15/04/2013 22:24

Would you offer to put a new colleague up in your house if they mentioned it in a meeting? I wouldn't.

Softlysoftly · 15/04/2013 22:25

I want to spend a week alone in a hotel :(

I'm bagsying the next away from home project at work.

YANBU he is crackers

bootsycollins · 15/04/2013 22:28

akward! Grin

MorrisZapp · 15/04/2013 22:30

You sound highly skilled and well paid but you sit freezing with a toddler because your DH is so tight. That is really, really odd.

Don't get why your DH is seen as a comedy figure on this thread. There's nothing funny about crap behaviour.

catgirl1976 · 15/04/2013 22:31

Good lord no Shock

The horror of staying with random people from work shudder

I am very much with you on this one OP.

I don't even like staying with friends. At least in a Premier Inn you can read your Kindle in your pants, order a room service pizza, open a bottle of wine and relax

A collegue might start showing you their collection of butterflies or getting out their family photo albums.

Ugh.

Hell is other people, OP.

Stick to your guns

MrsOakenshield · 15/04/2013 22:31

No, I wouldn't - I mean, I don't know if I would agree to do it at all.
I'm going to bed, I started off agreeing that your DH was BU, but you don't seem to like it when anyone suggests that what he wants you to do is not just a bit odd, but actually a bit off.

catgirl1976 · 15/04/2013 22:35

Anyway.

You don't know these work people.

They might make a coat out of your skin like in that film

catgirl1976 · 15/04/2013 22:35

Hang on........

I need to read the full thread..

Original poster
idontbeeleaveit · 15/04/2013 22:37

I think you'll find I have agreed actually! What I have taken issue with is the comparison of me taking money I have earned through legitimate work and expenses/inconvenience with theft and immoral behaviour. I have explained that I get a relocation package on a few occasions now but have still been compared to MPs taking thousands and thousands over the years which I think IS really off, as a matter of fact!

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 15/04/2013 22:41

idont

As long as you don't watch a porno and then claim it back it's nothing like MPs expenses :)

Original poster
idontbeeleaveit · 15/04/2013 22:42

Thanks catgirl :) no intention of doing that!

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