Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to include NICU pictures in a baby photo book?

113 replies

redwellybluewelly · 15/04/2013 19:53

Please be gentle with me!

DD was in a coma on life support shortly after she was born for a week, we only have one grainy photo of her before transfer, she was then in for a bit longer getting better and came home at two weeks old. Since then she has gone from strength to strength but there have been re admissions.

So. DC2 is due in two months, DD is obsessed with babies and also pictures of herself. I thought I'd make a photobook for her of her as a baby that she can flick through when I'm feeding dc2 but also because she would love to take it to nursery and also show people.

Anyway. Speaking to a friend (with children) and she said that putting in any photos from NICU would be creepy and weird, but to me they are an important part of DD being a baby.

I wouldn't put in the close up coma ones where she is on life support (you can't actually see much baby) but maybe the ones of her first breastfeed (NG tube in) or where DH is standing by the NICU crib wuth the million and one machines keeping her going.

Am I being unreasonable? )

OP posts:
SantanaLopez · 15/04/2013 19:55

YANBU, but your friend is! It's not creepy- it's unfortunately a part of life and we should do more to acknowledge illness in children, not sweep it under the carpet.

ginmakesitallok · 15/04/2013 19:55

No of course you are not being unreasonable! As you say it's an important part of dd's life.

Methe · 15/04/2013 19:56

Your friend if a knob. I've got pictures on my wall of mine in NICU.. Why on earth wouldn't I?

LagomOchLyckaSwede · 15/04/2013 19:56

Course you aren't! I have loads of pics if my DTDs in NICU...newborn photos! It doesn't matter where they were, it matters that she was your new baby and you took pictures of an important stage in your and her life. NICU was prt of her babyhood and I don't see what's odd with it being included. A simple 'you were very, very ill when you were born and we were really scared for you but you were very strong and the doctors made you better again' type story is simple.

Congrats on DC2!

cathpip · 15/04/2013 19:57

YANBU, my niece was 6 weeks prem and they have photos of her in her incubator and with the tubes, she is fully aware of being in a NICU.

OHforDUCKScake · 15/04/2013 19:57

Creepy?

Its not creepy, its incredible. That she was so poorly and yet these amazing machines and people helped her live and be here today.

She should be able to see those photos and be proud her little body was strong enough to get through it.

SocialButterfly · 15/04/2013 19:57

I have pictures of both my dd in scbu in their baby books yanbu at all and for your friend to say its creepy is rude and insensitive.

Tee2072 · 15/04/2013 19:58

YANBU The best picture I have of my son just after birth he is in an incubator just before they CPAPed him.

EmpireBiscuit · 15/04/2013 19:58

Nope, I've included pics of DS in his incubator in all my albums. Scary as it was that was how he started life.

You are NBU, your friend is.

TheYoniOfYawn · 15/04/2013 19:59

YANBU at all. Her time in nicu is a really important part of her birth story, and quite possibly something that will make her feel special when she is a bit older. That first feed is something to look back on as an amazing, strong start to life!

HollyBerryBush · 15/04/2013 19:59

Our friend is peculiar!

Of course you show SCBU - it's part of her life story!

SwishSwoshSwoosh · 15/04/2013 20:00

YANBU, it is part of your dd's story. Your friend is being silly.

amandine07 · 15/04/2013 20:00

YADNBU but your friend definitely is!

There is nothing creepy about it- if the photos are to be shown to other young children, the normal thing would be to explain the she was poorly when she was born, needed help to breathe etc.

EyeoftheStorm · 15/04/2013 20:00

Has your friend had a baby in NICU?

For my 40th I put together an album of my life and DS2's NICU picture - one where he looked tiny and covered in tubes etc - was in there along with pictures of my other two as babies.

It was such a huge experience in all our lives, I would never have left it out.

Friends at my 40th party all took time to comment positively when they looked through it. One of them said - it still feels so raw - that was two years later and she was right. Which is why I didn't leave it out.

I would like DS2 to know what a struggle he had. Its part of his story.

Pfffft to your friend.

SquirrelNuts · 15/04/2013 20:01

YANBU that was the first part of her life, you cant just wipe it out and pretend it didnt exist. Good luck with the birth of you DC2.

EyeoftheStorm · 15/04/2013 20:01

x post swish

FrubesOnTheCouch · 15/04/2013 20:01

yanbu

plentyofsoap · 15/04/2013 20:02

That is an awful thing for your friend to say! Unfortunately many children have medical complications when they are born. I have included all photos of my ds in hospital in all photo albums and have one in a frame. It reminds me of his journey and how lucky we are.

chickabilla · 15/04/2013 20:02

YANBU - we would have no pics of DS2's first 7 weeks if we didn't include very sick ones! It is a great reminder of how far they have come.

Molehillmountain · 15/04/2013 20:03

Your friend is wrong and being insensitive. Those pictures are part of your and your dd's journey and should absolutely be there. I find my friend's nicu pictures from when her twins were born beautiful, inspiring and amazing. To look at her great strapping lads now makes me think of the love, hard work and blind faith she gave, did and had and also how amazing the medical team were.
I'm teary thinking of them. Your photos are something to be proud of and something your dd will absolutely want to see.
Good luck with dc2 and enjoy doing the baby book (reminds me, dd1's remains empty and she is seven Blush

weebarra · 15/04/2013 20:03

Of course not. DS2 had heart surgery at 10 days old and was in PICU for 5 days. It is part of his history. I don't have any photos of then, but I do have a couple of him in HDU.

Pozzled · 15/04/2013 20:03

YANBU. The photo book is a lovely idea, and it's your DD's life story. It's entirely appropriate to include those photos. In fact it would be weird not to- as,if it were something to be ashamed of.

YoniRaver · 15/04/2013 20:03

I dont think it creepy or weird at all, however I dont have any pictures of DS2 from SCBU and it doesnt bother me at all.

The only picture I have of my firstborn is from NICU so I do treasuer it

SarahAndFuck · 15/04/2013 20:03

Your are not being unreasonable but your friend is.

The only pictures we have of our premature daughter were taken just after she died. We still have a couple of them in frames in the living room and our bedroom, and she just looks like a very tiny, sleeping baby. And I've including a very tiny image of her in DS's baby book on his family tree.

Ignore your friend. She doesn't have to look at the book and she doesn't have to like it, but she should have the sense to keep her silly opinion to herself. This is part of your family history and part of your daughters life. Why hide that?

montage · 15/04/2013 20:04

It is part of the story of your daughter's life and the book is for her ultimately.

Your friend has strange views - there are children who have NG tubes or other medical paraphernalia with them all the time. Not just in pictures but in real life. She may want to reconsider her views on that basis.