To tell this woman to stop bloody tutting and shaking her head at me?

[FigaroCat]

I was friends with a mum from the school run for a couple of years. Our DDs are friends and are in the same class most years. I wouldn't say we were very close friends but we got on well, met up regularly with the girls, and often texted or phoned each other.

About 6 months ago the mum stopped talking to me, almost overnight. If I went up to her at the school to talk she would just walk off, and texts were ignored. I tried to speak to her a couple of times and ask if I'd upset her at all but she just ignored me, and she now walks straight past me if she sees me, with her nose in the air.

Fair enough, I don't think I've done anything wrong at all but her choice who she's friends with and all that. However....she works 3 days a week and her mother, who is in her late fifties, does the school run for her. I previously got on well with her mother and we'd have a bit of a chat and small talk at the school. Since my friend stopped talking to me, her mother has done so too. Again no huge loss, but every time she sees me she starts shaking her head, and tutting at me.

We were just walking home from school an hour ago and my friend's daughter was behind us and called DD's name. DD turned round and waved, and I turned round too, and my friend's mum was glaring at me, tutting, shaking her head. She often tries to get eye contact with me on the school run, for example if I am talking to another mum she walks past me, looks at me and again loudly tuts, shakes her head, and glares at me. Also at the end of the Easter term there was an assembly, which my friend's mum went to, and again there as she walked past me to sit down she glared at me and shook her head.

It's like I've done something terrible and sordid and I absolutely disgust her. I don't much care now as to what they think I've done, as my ex friend's childish approach to things has made me realise she's not worth bothering about but her mum is really pissing me off.

WIBU the next time she does it to tell her to bloody well stop doing it and to get a life? DH says to ignore her but that's easier said than done!

I once had a friend who was in a mood with me because I'd, in her mind, bought the same car as her. I'd bought a Metro that was a cracking price...and she'd had one for about a year before me.

Judging by the complete pettiness of these two women, I'm guessing it will be something equally as ridiculous.

Wow - what a grown up. . OP, I really hope you managed to say something - and well done for not landing one on her before now!

It's not always the female of the species either. DH's brother blanked us for a year once. All fixed now but the issue that caused it? - He didn't approve of the car we'd bought...

not marking place

Still no update? How disappointing. Come on OP, where are you?

.

I don't think the OP should bother asking these silly women as she'll not get a straight answer out of them anyway.

I'd be super, extra nice to both of them. Chat, always say hello etc, as if you hadn't noticed what they are up to - that way they'll either cave and bluster that they aren't speaking because of whatever, or they'll be forced to be pleasant in return, or they'll just look like the vile, vindictive women they are.

It's a win all round though.

I didn't read the whole thread, but I couldn't ignore that. You said you tried to ask the mum what the matter was and she walked off.

MIL sound horrible, out to bully you? Could you walk up to her in front of others and ask for a word? Or in front of others, explain her behaviour and ask her why she does it and what the matter is? If she doesn't like you she could just go about her own business and you could do the same.

Are you still friends with someone mum or MIL are talking to? Could you ask them?

I'm in a very similar situation, only it is my sister not talking to me after spending a week with me over Christmas, which I felt went extremely well. I also don't like confrontation and fear that asking her what the problem is will open the doors to anger and character defamation (it has happened in the past). I feel that if I did something wrong she should have told me there and then or perhaps a week later, but it's been almost 4 months now. She lives abroad so we don't speak regularly anyway, but she has blatantly ignored my emails.

I do not agree with the posters that suggest you confront her aggressively but I also wouldn't know how to approach this. Good luck.

I wouldn't bother confronting this lady. Far better, IMO, to pretend you haven't noticed the glares/tutting and instead wave cheerily and say hello every time you see her, invite her round for tea and such.

Your open, friendly behaviour will either shame her into behaving nicely, or rile her so much that she will eventually lose her rag and have a rant at you. Which will at least let you know the eason behind the weird behaviour.

OP please update us - i keep checking this thread in hope. I need to know more!

tut tut tut

we need to know!

Well

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat

What still nothing? This is agonising..

Perhaps there has been a "tut- off " which has led to a head shaking-related injury.

Maybe the excessive tutting has resulted in whiplash?

me neither :o

me three :o

I was going to offer a nugget of advice , but have none , so will mark my place instead .

Start being really nice to her like you don't care 'oo hello MIL, lovely day isn't it' and if she makes a cats bum face just block her and ask her directly if she has a problem?

I too would love an update.

I'd love to be there when OP announces to the mum 'Mumsnet is running a Book on the origins of the Wendi'.

Comme on OP, the nation is waiting.

the waiting is unbearable.....tut tut TUT..