To think that there is nothing wrong with giving/receiving wedding gifts?

[TheSeventhHorcrux]

I've been astonished recently at the outcry against wedding gifts. It seems that unless you are desolate and poor, very young, getting married for the first time or only moving in together after the wedding it is considered rude and greedy to want wedding gifts.
There is clearly a lot of social etiquette that goes into making any comment at all over gift preferences in a wedding in invite - if I get married I would want people to know that I don't expect a gift, (or demand one). But it is nice to get presents!

AIBU to think that there is actually nothing wrong with wedding gifts?

It's another annoying "stiff upper lip" British thing but I am going to a wedding/birthday/christening etc. I want to bring a gift, it shows you care and polite. And since there are only so many toasters a new wed couple would use, a gift list is fantastic at preventing multiple purchases. We asked for money towards renovating our house (b&q should do a gift list) and friends are asking for honeymoon money and I love the idea of contributing to that.

Those who don't want to give gifts, get over you yourself. Those who can't afford to give gifts, our friends are building us a chicken pen (we are getting the materials) therefore giving us their time.

Gah! I read all the way through this thread looking for a consensus view as I really need to finalise my wedding invitations. There is no consensus. I was a bit on the fence about it as I am not offended by lists (as long as there are affordable items) but I don't like requests for money/vouchers. I think, having considered the above however, I will forgo any mention of presents.

Fgs, why is it not ok to save your guests time and effort? It's tradition to give a gift at a wedding, we all know that, so bloody tell me what you want! Don't make me run around like mad trying to find out. As for my wedding, me and mil simply don't have the time to tell 100+ people what we want individually, so we'll be putting a small note in the invites (no poem, I think they're naff) stating that we don't expect gifts, but contributions to the honeymoon would be appreciated if they do wish to give something. Or is that too grabby for you lot?

As for the ones who say to have a smaller wedding, I would love to just go to the registry office and be done with it, but I was overruled. 60 at the ceremony and meal, pretty much all family and 2 or 3 close friends. Then we obviously want the rest of our friends at the reception to celebrate with us. ILs are paying for this, they've been saving since dp was small specifically for this. I try to keep the costs down, but the sheer amount of people makes that difficult.

And we are paying for our own honeymoon, but the norm with our friends is to give some cash so the b&g can have a really amazing time. Nothing wrong with that!

INeedThat, I think you have up to a year to send thank you cards. Anyone who leaves it that long is bloody rude in my opinion. I went to a May wedding last year and got a thank you in December.

You can't win, people will be offended if you do a list/don't do a list. You give people every bit of information, create a website etc and you will still get people contacting you to ask inane questions that were answered on the invite.
If you do a list why should you send it out separately? Postage is high enough isn't it? I don't see that that would be in anyway offensive. (I didn't do a list or poem btw).

There's nothing wrong with giving gifts at all but I do think gift lists are vulgar and entitled. Sorry. Don't buy this argument that as you are being fed and watered you are required to buy something: its the bride and groom's day and the whole thing is about them anyway. Weddings can be a lot of fun but they are intrinsically self-centred.
And by having a list you are making it implicit that you expect something. Nothing wrong with bride or groom specifying stuff on request but to distribute the lists with an invite leaves guests with a basic choice: buy a gift or look mean.