AIBU?
To think that if you want to go on Masterchef you must cook the following dishes:
muminthecity · 10/04/2013 21:11
Starter:- Pan fried scallops with some sort of slop puree, preferably cauliflower. For extra points add a lump of black pudding.
Main:- Pan fried duck with some sort of fruit, orange, plum or redcurrants always go down well. Serve with either fondant/crushed potatoes and a red wine jus.
Pudding:- Chocolate fondant. Doesn't matter what you serve with it, if it works you will be hailed a genius regardless, if it doesn't, you will be sent home anyway.
If you want to be the wacky, 'inventive' one, add a bit of fruit to the scallops (apple maybe?), change the fruit you serve with the duck to a less conventional one (nectarine, perhaps?) and add some chilli to your chocolate fondant.
I love Masterchef but I'm so bloody sick of seeing the same dishes rehashed all the time!
soverylucky · 10/04/2013 21:15
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CosmicWanker · 10/04/2013 21:16
I started a thread moanin g about Masterchef chocolate fondants a few weeks ago. Bloody stupid things.
You must also learn
How to do shit smears on plates
Do a coulis
Serve your rice like a sandcastle
Cook a fondant potato
Try to cook a tart tatin but screw it up
muminthecity · 10/04/2013 21:23
'Deconstructed' puddings also seem quite popular. Fancy an apple crumble? Well instead of just fucking well cooking an apple crumble, why not put all the ingredients on a plate in separate little piles with a shit smear across the middle instead? Same goes for banoffee pie.
But then what would I have to moan about? Loislane78 · 10/04/2013 21:36
YANBU 
Another is use every part of an animal and cook each using different methods but served on the same plate with a shit smear ie. pork loin with some raw offal-like bits on the side, served with pork trotters shaped into squares with Japanese breadcrumbs round the edge, topped with crispy deep fried pigs ears.
Yummmmmmmmm
Moominsarehippos · 10/04/2013 21:44
Hand made pasta
Bloody scallops
Asian
Anything tooth-achingly sweet
Weird curly cress-like leaves sprinkled on top
Sous-vide or whatever the water bath thingy is called (where the food looks like raw shite)
Or anything with mango (as per last joint winner)
I hate the plate smear thing. If I want sauce, I want loads of it (nor something that looks like a tiny dog has wiped its bum on the plate).
You don't see many spam fritters, do you?
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