To think that if you want to go on Masterchef you must cook the following dishes:

[muminthecity]

Starter:- Pan fried scallops with some sort of slop puree, preferably cauliflower. For extra points add a lump of black pudding.

Main:- Pan fried duck with some sort of fruit, orange, plum or redcurrants always go down well. Serve with either fondant/crushed potatoes and a red wine jus.

Pudding:- Chocolate fondant. Doesn't matter what you serve with it, if it works you will be hailed a genius regardless, if it doesn't, you will be sent home anyway.

If you want to be the wacky, 'inventive' one, add a bit of fruit to the scallops (apple maybe?), change the fruit you serve with the duck to a less conventional one (nectarine, perhaps?) and add some chilli to your chocolate fondant.

I love Masterchef but I'm so bloody sick of seeing the same dishes rehashed all the time!

I'm loving the taste test one. It is probably much harder than it looks but still, some of the mistakes are quite amusing.

LOVE this thread!

Mrs Morton: "But using ready mixed curry powder, well [hoiks] she might as well have shat on the plate. Dirty bastard"

made me lol, and I don't lol much

Loved the u-tube clips too...

I only started watching last year. I love the curly-haired taster man (previous winner) :)

agree, the taste test was a good (and entertaining) idea.
but I think jontyrude is using crap recipes with far too many ingredients.
--sort of the point though.

The taste test seems quite tough to me. I think I would do the invention test, then use the cook your own food one to eliminate the first two. I would save the taste test for the next elimination.

thermalsinapril pahahaa. I LOVE your fish & chips.

As an aside, having grown up in Wales, I really struggle to call chips anything other than sclods.

Magrathea

"and if you can't control a cucumber you should hang your head"

Someone on now is serving 'shavings'. And Greg was very excited ooooohhhhh. Made me laugh

Another masterchef sraple seema to be beeteoot..

What does wilted mean? Passed its best/ old or steamed or boiled?

Wilted-not quite cooked enough!

And I don't want my fish to be sexy, thanks

I am not sure that ex winners are the correct people to be judging imo

Pomme puree so mashed potato then

A while ago I went on a very basic intro to professional chef course for 6 weeks of being burned, shouted at, a lot sweat, several faintings, some blood and having to do a sort of Masterchef presentation every day under pressure.

Nothing like cooking at home and we learned to do some of things you see of Masterchef but I am always somewhat suspicious the contestants must have had some pretty advanced training. You dont learn that stuff on your own at home.

Snorting at 'naive and mature' potatoes.

Horrible Histories do a brilliant take on MC, the actor who plays Gregg Wallace is fantastic.

As for 'deconstructed' cheesecake etc, I want my puddings BIG, not in crumbs and teeny tiny smears around my plate.

The foam always puts me in mind of the frothy sputum my patients with heart failure produce, not nice.

urgh alex that put me off my chocolate tonight.

Foam is Cuckoo spit.

We play the masterchef drinking game. Whenever John or Gregg say 'sauce' we have a glug drink a bottle of vodka. We get fairly pissed

Has to be the ultimate MC deconstucted pud

Anyone watching tonight? It seems partridge is the new duck - 2 of them are doing it 'three ways.' Can't wait to see the shit streaks that will accompany them!

Ooh and tonight one of our dishes is being served with 'citurs air.' Sounds delicious

Wtff is a citrus air??

Greg lifted a goldfish Noel and sniffed it!

greg ffs

*bowl arf

Tonight is bonkers.

Natalie ftw.