To think that if you want to go on Masterchef you must cook the following dishes:

[muminthecity]

Starter:- Pan fried scallops with some sort of slop puree, preferably cauliflower. For extra points add a lump of black pudding.

Main:- Pan fried duck with some sort of fruit, orange, plum or redcurrants always go down well. Serve with either fondant/crushed potatoes and a red wine jus.

Pudding:- Chocolate fondant. Doesn't matter what you serve with it, if it works you will be hailed a genius regardless, if it doesn't, you will be sent home anyway.

If you want to be the wacky, 'inventive' one, add a bit of fruit to the scallops (apple maybe?), change the fruit you serve with the duck to a less conventional one (nectarine, perhaps?) and add some chilli to your chocolate fondant.

I love Masterchef but I'm so bloody sick of seeing the same dishes rehashed all the time!

[LondonMother]

Did you see the guy years ago who fried a pork chop and poured a bottle of Amoy sauce over it? Best round ever.

[ICBINEG]

skid marks I ALWAYS wondered what they were called....

[grovel]

I like Marmite on plain chocolate digestives. Do think that would tickle their tastebuds? What chance of having both of them available for the invention test?

[MisForMumNotMaid]

So just trying to get my head round this everything has to be deconstructed. Even a fondant potato (i've just looked it up) is basically roasted/ fried before being boiled - hence a reverse roast potato.

[LaVolcan]

You've just coined a new term MisForMum:

"Red raw lamb with Reverse Roast Potato on a bed of pea and parsnip puree."

Mmm, my tastebuds are salivating right now.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

meddie

love the "deconstructed Angel Delight"

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Mis

re: Marmite and digestives

That is very much along the lines of the salted caramel craze.

What next?

Chocolate and anchovy mousse?
Nutella-stuffed olives?

[grovel]

Jamie, two outstanding ideas. I'll report back.

[Magrathea]

I want my food on a plate, a good old fashioned honest plate.

Not a dry ice smoking fish bowl

Not a chopping board where all the sauce runs off and

Definitely not a cocking slate

[Allthingspretty]

Meddie
Yes what is a scallop without black pudding?

[Samnella]

This is hilarious.

[MrBloomsMarrow]

Who is watching tonight? Apparently John's dish that they have to re-create involves....scallops! I keep thinking about the microwaved prawn ring - surely that's a massive food poisoning risk?

[RubberBullets]

My Grandad used to put butter or jam on weetabix and eat them like biscuits. They could be served with the weetabix stacked in some fancy way and a little pot of jam or butter next to it

[muminthecity]

MrBloom - I'm watching! Was very impressed by Barry's 80 different shit smears on one plate - he will go far.

Am also that John's scallops are in pasta rather than pan fried with a puree. Has he lost his mind?

[MrBloomsMarrow]

You mean in paarsta?

[WillieWaggledagger]

I am eating pan-fried fillet steak on a bed of creamed Savoy cabbage and wilted kale while watching. It is bloody awesome (Dp is away and I'm treating myself)

I loved the retro smears

[Magrathea]

Why would you go on masterchef if you've never cooked pork?

[MrBloomsMarrow]

Disaster! James' ravioli has split open!

[muminthecity]

I'm about to eat some homemade chicken soup with a buttered roll. 'Rustic home cooking' I believe it's called .

[muminthecity]

They all did shit in that round, didn't they? Mind you, I didn't much like the look of John's dish either.

[muminthecity]

Oh good, shit smear Barry is still in. His final round should be fun to watch

[Magrathea]

What is the point of the professional kitchen round, they never take it into account at the end

[Magrathea]

A fecking trio ffs

[muminthecity]

A trio, a quenelle and a bisque all in the first few minutes of the professional kitchen. A hat trick of stupid, unnecessary things with silly names. Brilliant!

[muminthecity]

Its to see if they can perfect their shit smears handle the heat of a professional kitchen. But you're right, they never seem to consider it when picking their winners.