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MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

to wonder when is pornography acceptable

208 replies

tootiesfrootsie · 10/04/2013 14:07

When is it acceptable? I hate the stuff and my OH know's how I feel. But today he went to the hospital to make sure that his vasectomy has worked and wanked off to glossies in a private room.
Obviously for medical purposes pornography is acceptable??

OP posts:

Report

sannaville · 10/04/2013 15:41

Tootsie just read some more of this thread you sound exhausted with two under 2s. Get some time out and help for yourself x

tootiesfrootsie · 10/04/2013 15:42

Peanut - Life, counting down the years until it's over. It means nothing. It all ends in shit.

OP posts:

VisualiseAHorse · 10/04/2013 15:44

Yes....there must be a lot more to this than meets the eye. You don't sound happy at all in this relationship.

DebsMorgan · 10/04/2013 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 10/04/2013 15:44

You do need to speak to someone tooties, maybe your GP, someone removed from your immediate situation? Or Samaritans?

pinkiegum · 10/04/2013 15:46

OP you are me a few years ago. The counting down the years bit. I would suggest that text messages are not the best way to discuss with your oh. If you want to stay in a relationship with your oh it means sitting down together when you both have the time and explaining how you feel calmly and if possible without getting upset.
I agree with who ever it was who said it sounds like u need a self esteem boost.

Sorry to just butt in btw but this really struck a chord.

tootiesfrootsie · 10/04/2013 15:47

I don't need to speak to anyone. I am here whilst the children need me and then I won't be.

OP posts:

Nancy66 · 10/04/2013 15:49

You sound very unhappy tootsies - I imagine the porn mag episode was the last straw.

Please seek some help.

pinkiegum · 10/04/2013 15:49

That was my exact attitude. Now they're older (teens) I have my life and my body back. If u can negotiate time out for your whole they're small I'm willing to bet it'll help you

VisualiseAHorse · 10/04/2013 15:51

You do need to speak to someone tooties....you sound seriously unfufilled with your life.

Is there no-one (sister, mum, mate) who you can chat to about your relationship?

fromparistoberlin · 10/04/2013 15:51

OP

this sound like a cry for help

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go and see a GP, and get some help

Its does NOT have to be this way

please x

tootiesfrootsie · 10/04/2013 15:52

Your right I'm not happy. But don't back down, none of you because I can take it.

OP posts:

tootiesfrootsie · 10/04/2013 15:55

Visualise - My mum's dead. She died of alcoholic liver disease. No sister and my best mate is a me-me. I can deal with it myself.

OP posts:

StickEmWithThePointyEnd · 10/04/2013 15:55

Could you have PND op?

My mum was very depressed and used to talk about "only staying alive for the kids". I think you need to see a doctor.

MarianaTrench · 10/04/2013 16:00

You poor love, please go and talk to your GP. You don't have to feel like this about life, things can and will get better.

MissSG · 10/04/2013 16:00

Your DH was being disrespectful ringing you up and telling you the porn was laminated when you expressed your concerns about it, He needs to consider your feelings in situations like these.

However, In the kindest way possible, I do think that you are overreacting a bit with your DH seeing the porn. These are images of women and at the end of the day he comes home to you and loves you.

Go to your GP OP, I can tell from your posts that you are going through a lot in life right now and you need some help with picking yourself up otherwise these little things are going to get on top of you.

EldritchCleavage · 10/04/2013 16:00

I can deal with it myself

I'm sure you can, but it isn't always the best option.
Maybe not pack DH's bags, pack one for yourself and go away for a couple of days.

But honestly, you sound depressed (been there) and unhappy and as though you are defiantly trying to manage with it which is brave but a very hard lonely way to live. Can you speak to your GP about it?

BelaLugosisShed · 10/04/2013 16:01

Why did he have to go to the hospital to provide a sample?
It's not as if it's a time-critical sample like for a fertility test, when DH did his samples after his vasectomy ( they like 3 at one month intervals), I assisted him at home and then we took the sample pot in, all they are checking for is the presence or absence of sperm, it doesn't matter if it's alive or not.

Hospitals can also provide collection condoms for those men who don't want to masturbate for the sample.

I am very anti porn but I can't help think that there are other issues here.

tootiesfrootsie · 10/04/2013 16:02

I don't want to talk to my GP. Have you seen how the government stereotype people with MH issues. I will just fly under the radar until they can take care of themselves.

OP posts:

StarryAngel1984 · 10/04/2013 16:06

Extreme over reaction, the hospital needed a sample, quickest way is to show him naked ladies.

I don't like oh wanking to porn either, but I wouldn't throw him out over it, are you really going to deny your children a father because of a medical issue?!?!

MarianaTrench · 10/04/2013 16:07

Your GP is not the government. A quarter of the population experience mental health problems at some point in their lives, probably more. There is plenty of help out there and it could make everything feel very different.

KnitFastDieWarm · 10/04/2013 16:07

You sound depressed, in the clinical sense of the word. Waiting for death is not healthy. Get thee to a doctor. You're not thinking straight right now.
And I say this as a person with lifelong (now controlled) depression.
Your kids will always need you, emotionally even when they no longer need you physically - and they (and you) deserve a happy mother.

Please, please, email the Samaritan at [email protected]
They will let you rant and rave without telling you what to do.

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tootiesfrootsie · 10/04/2013 16:09

StarryAngel-Please read the whole thread and not just parts.

OP posts:

KnitFastDieWarm · 10/04/2013 16:09

And please don't let suspicion of gps put you off. Yes, there's still stigma attached to mh issues, but in my experience it doesn't come from doctors.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful · 10/04/2013 16:10

That could be a long way off tootsie I'm 34 and I still need my mum.

My mum has had really bad depression in the past, watching her go through it was so difficult. She got help from her GP had talking therapy and most importantly spoke to friends about how she was feeling. She was amazed to find out just how many had been through similar things.

I'll give you my mums advice "if you feel really low, to and speak to your GP, take the pills they will help, you will feel better"

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