Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want this child to come on holidays with us

838 replies

arabesque · 10/04/2013 11:08

A group of girls I used to share a house with years ago have arranged to go on a reunion weekend to the West of Ireland in June. The plan was to book into a nice hotel, and spend the time relaxing, having nice meals and a few drinks and catching up and reminiscing. However, one of the group has now asked if its okay to bring her six year old daughter as her husband wants to play in a golf tournament that weekend. A child hanging around is going to completely change the tone of the holiday imho. I haven't spoken to all of the group yet but the two I have been in touch with are not too keen either.

AI (or we)BU to think of saying that we'd prefer if it was kept to adults only as it's the first time we've all been together in about ten years?

OP posts:
YellowDinosaur · 10/04/2013 16:05

Spot on email with the possible /practical substitution.

CaptainSweatPants · 10/04/2013 16:17

Yanbu

You'll all want a lie in too

Not woken up by a 6 yr old clamouring for food, tv etc

MummytoKatie · 10/04/2013 16:44

I think the email is perfect. Did you write it? Do you work in a job that involves breaking bad news to people? If not, you have missed your vocation!

LIZS · 10/04/2013 16:49

Normally we would be more than happy for (dd) to come along. However, as all the other children have been told that it is a 'mums only' weekend there could be some little noses out of joint if they realise that (dd) was part of the weekend.

I wouldn't bring the other children into it tbh. However as it has been planned so that we can spend time together and catch up without the distraction of children or partners ...

Original poster
arabesque · 10/04/2013 17:12

Thanks MummytoKatie Smile.

LIZS I've actually already sent it off already. Fingers crossed she gets the message and there won't be any bad feelings about it.

OP posts:
MonaLotte · 10/04/2013 17:21

Just read this. Yanbu at all! Hope she comes back with a suitable reply. i.e. her dd isn't going!

talkingnonsense · 10/04/2013 17:37

Great email, hope it all works out ok.

JenaiMorris · 10/04/2013 19:22

TSC totally agree it's the husband's problem, but him being a wanker is something his wife has to live with and her friends should help her with (although my approach would possibly be enabling him, so I'll shut up!).

The email shaped up nicely, OP. Hope it does the trick :)

Casmama · 10/04/2013 19:30

I really hope your friend isn't a mumsnetter! Hope it goes ok.

SugarPasteGreyhound · 10/04/2013 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottashakingoinon · 10/04/2013 19:55

Thing is Jenai, you make an excellent point (which you then start to talk yourself out of!) but OP said somewhere up thread that the friend has a bit of form for bringing DD along and that it might be she is hiding behind her husband's 'golf' to provide the excuse to bring DD along to this holiday. Much as my default setting is that all men are wankers (apart from Mr Going On of course Grin ) it's just possible that golfing husband is getting a bit of an unfair hiding!

Any news arabesque

SatsukiKusukabe · 10/04/2013 20:17

yanbu

LadyBeagleEyes · 10/04/2013 20:30

I think if she does come along with daughter in tow, then she should be left to entertain her on her own and the adults should just go along with all the grown up things they were going to do anyway.

Patchouli · 10/04/2013 21:01

ooo no reply yet?

doublecakeplease · 11/04/2013 20:36

Has she replied op??

ladymariner · 11/04/2013 21:57

YANBU. Having a child on an adults weekend would totally change the dynamic. Hope she sees sense x

shallweshop · 11/04/2013 22:00

YANBU - its clearly adults only. Child will be bored shitless and it will seriously curtail your weekend. Just No.

maddening · 11/04/2013 22:08

Also have any of the others with dc got room for one more if her dh is a.dick and won't reconsider? So another with a similar aged dc and v capable babysitter?

formicaqueen · 11/04/2013 22:27

you either make it a kid thing or an adult thing. why can't she have some friends/relatives care for her DD.

formicaqueen · 11/04/2013 22:28

could one of your hubbies have an extra child to care for?

formicaqueen · 11/04/2013 22:33

can her DH take his child on a golfing weekend?

Floggingmolly · 11/04/2013 22:37

Would you bring a little girl on a hen weekend? Because that's pretty much what it is, isn't it? Without the imminent wedding, obviously.
People opt out of things all the time when their childcare arrangements break down, she'll have to try harder or just accept they she can't go.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 11/04/2013 23:01

I want to know what she said too! Pretty shamelessly marking my place Grin

FWIW OP I think your email was spot-on.

FairhairedandFrustrated · 11/04/2013 23:49

I think email was great. Good point to mention other kids maybe feeling out of joint.

IroningBoredDaily · 12/04/2013 00:20

Perfectly worded email. I hope she takes it well.