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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want this child to come on holidays with us

838 replies

arabesque · 10/04/2013 11:08

A group of girls I used to share a house with years ago have arranged to go on a reunion weekend to the West of Ireland in June. The plan was to book into a nice hotel, and spend the time relaxing, having nice meals and a few drinks and catching up and reminiscing. However, one of the group has now asked if its okay to bring her six year old daughter as her husband wants to play in a golf tournament that weekend. A child hanging around is going to completely change the tone of the holiday imho. I haven't spoken to all of the group yet but the two I have been in touch with are not too keen either.

AI (or we)BU to think of saying that we'd prefer if it was kept to adults only as it's the first time we've all been together in about ten years?

OP posts:
HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 17/04/2013 22:10

Maryz any Irish ancestors of mine left Ireland for the colonies several generations ago so you might be safe Grin

Course any of you Irish posters could always hop on ryanair and come to a London meet up if only someone would organise another one

waltermittymissus · 17/04/2013 22:15

Ah we're neighbours rogue! That Airport bus is great value too Wink

ceebie · 17/04/2013 22:31

OP, is there any possibililty that you (or FF) could ask SE friend if she has any problems she wants to discuss, whilst still making it clear that it will not affect whatsoever the rules for the weekend?

It is not normal or healthy to be so desperately unwilling to be parted from one's daughter. She seems to be either far too dependant on being with her daughter, or her daughter with her, or both - not very healthy. And/or she doesn't trust her husband to look after her daughter. Does she really have absolutely no-one else in the world who can look after her daughter?

Also, could you offer an olive branch by suggesting another additional meet-up later in the year with whichever friends could make it (not all, obviously) which included children?

YellowDinosaur · 17/04/2013 22:41

Yes I reckon in your reply to all response it might be nice to back up ff but then add something like 'maybe later in the year we could arrange a weekend away with kids'

Loulybelle · 17/04/2013 22:44

Im 50% Irish, i have distant cousins in dublin somewhere.

Maryz · 17/04/2013 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kiwimumof2boys · 18/04/2013 04:14

Update OP ???

MissTweed · 18/04/2013 06:57

I can't believe your friend (with the DD) would even want to still go?? I would be so embarrassed if I were in her position! The fact that she's not means that I wouldn't be surprised if she still showed up with DD in tow just to be ultra awkward.

GingerBlondecat · 18/04/2013 07:05

OP, serious question.

Will you still concider this gall a friend?

Or will you think her 'tarnished' and Not want friendship from her ?

rainbow2000 · 18/04/2013 07:43

I think we start a new thread in chat for the Dublin meet up.

rainbow2000 · 18/04/2013 07:45

Right ive started teh thread in Chat
So far i have me but if nobody adds their name it will be a crap night wiht me on my lonesome.So who is up for it

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 18/04/2013 08:34

Loving this thread!

I've had to read it in 3 sittings and am in suspense now for the latest reply!

HermioneHatesHoovering · 18/04/2013 08:59

Ooh I've never been to Dublin, but I do believe my ancestors may be from there and I'd love a weekend away.........BUT it's a bloody long way from New Zealand just for 2 days, could any of you accommodate me for a couple of weeks Wink

eosmum · 18/04/2013 09:09

You can all stay with me in Dublin, Bono's me neighbour. Bring your DCs of course, Dh will mind them all while we meet arabesque and her gang.

rainbow2000 · 18/04/2013 09:26

Bonos your neighbour,thats not something to brag about.You will frighten people away with that kind of talkGrin

Maryz · 18/04/2013 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 18/04/2013 09:59

Christ, this thread is MN gold.

Arabesque, you and FF rock.

As an aside, I'm dying to know which the fabulous hotel is...

JaxTellerIsAllMine · 18/04/2013 10:25

I got engaged to DH in Dublin, so I think I should be included in the Dublin MN meet up. Grin

bootsycollins · 18/04/2013 10:30

Saint Bonos neighbour Grin

arabesque · 18/04/2013 10:37

Well, we've got our solution but sadly it does mean the friendship is over.

EF emailed us all last night with a right bollocking. Apparently all those years ago when we thought we were happily sharing a house together we were actually all being absolutely horrible to her:

FF was always trying to steal her BFs (We have no recollection of this)

NIF was really two faced and moody - friendly one minute, dropping her like a hot brick the next (NIF is the least two faced person you could meet)

New York Friend thought she was superior to everyone else (No one else ever felt that about her)

Cork Friend was jealous of her (the reason for this 'jealousy' was not specified and cork friend was a pretty sociable girl in a very solid relationship)

London friend was always talking about her behind her back (again we have no recollection of this.

And I was a total snob and only wanted to mix with 'the arty crowd' (have been absolutely assured by everyone that this is nonsense and no one, including EF, ever said anything of the sort about me).

We're all absolutely flabbergasted. I was close to tears when I got the email and so were a couple of the others. We have no idea where all this animosity has come from.

FF emailed her back this morning, with our agreement, and said 'we're sorry you feel that way and obviously, under those circumstances, it will be better for everyone if you are no longer included in our weekend and we cease any communication on it'.
We couldn't get New York Friend's agreement because of time difference but we know from her emails last night that she's as shocked as everyone else.
To be honest, I feel a bit sick and kind of wish I hadn't started this thread now.

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 18/04/2013 10:41

Wow, just wow.Shock
Your poor thing, how upsetting for you.
It sounds like she's being holding a grudge for a long, long time.

Kiriwawa · 18/04/2013 10:43

Bloody hell :(

I'm really sorry, that's horrible. She sounds a bit unhinged

GingerBlondecat · 18/04/2013 10:44

^^ so Sorry OP ((((((((((((((((Soft Hug)))))))))))))

She was never really a true friend

she's an 'Imaginary' Grievance collector.

She did this because you didn't let her have her own way.

SMH

ExitPursuedByABear · 18/04/2013 10:44

Would you have behaved any differently without this thread?

Sometimes things are just meant to be. I hope you enjoy the weekend, although I can imagine what most of the talk will be about.

Chin up

GingerBlondecat · 18/04/2013 10:46

PS, She's made sre, since SHE can't enjoy the holiday, No one else will be in a party mood either.

Your best comeback is to live well, Be happy, Enjoy your Girls Week end away.

Grin Put lots of happy pics on Face Book