To not want this child to come on holidays with us

[arabesque]

A group of girls I used to share a house with years ago have arranged to go on a reunion weekend to the West of Ireland in June. The plan was to book into a nice hotel, and spend the time relaxing, having nice meals and a few drinks and catching up and reminiscing. However, one of the group has now asked if its okay to bring her six year old daughter as her husband wants to play in a golf tournament that weekend. A child hanging around is going to completely change the tone of the holiday imho. I haven't spoken to all of the group yet but the two I have been in touch with are not too keen either.

AI (or we)BU to think of saying that we'd prefer if it was kept to adults only as it's the first time we've all been together in about ten years?

I like the cut of your forthright mate's jib.

She is a goodun!

Delurking to echo everyone else, don't let her get away with it!

Are you going to tell FF about her well deserved new title? (maybe not best to tell EF about hers...)

Everyone needs a Forthright Friend.

I fear I am she, though.

I think NutterFriend is both overly attached and highly manipulative. And very irritated that y'all don't see how SPECIAL AND FUN AND MATURE AND LOVELY her perfect dd is.

This reminds me of a mom who used to bring her kids to DS's daycare...her kids were asked to leave as the daycare "couldn't meet their needs." (I.e. the kids were violent, disrespectful, didn't listen and the carer was losing other clients because of them.) After they got kicked out of another place the mom had them call the previous carer, in tears to ask if they could come back! Ugh.

Although if NI friends children are there with deluded friends DD (having their pizza) then the obvious retort to DD is "it's not fair on the kids that can't go so none of you can go" - which must be said in front of all the kids to get the message to DD - in conjunction with the "it's been decided it's a child free weekend It's up to you if you want to join in or not." broken record technique to deal with deluded friend.

De lurking to add to the many.
This is an ADULT weekend. A 6 year old is not an adult.
Do not feel guilty in any way. You have all been very reasonable and polite. If EF takes the email as an Act of Hostility, well it says more about her than it does about you.

Most of us on here are mums. We were people before we became mums. Sometimes a weekend with no kids to re-live the people we were before we became mums is NEEDED

PLEASE tell us what the email said ( if you can) and don't feel guilty. Looks like the whole of MN is behind you.

Breville
another MN'er with a girl-crush on FF! Is she for hire as a life coach??

I would love to be sooo thick skinned that I didn't care what other people thought about me and could plough on regardless. Looking forward to the next update after the email.

Not a lot to add as I agree with everyone about how thick skinned and entitled she is coming across as, and really you and your other friends have nothing to feel guilty about. But I wonder why she is so keen on bringing her DD, there must be a reason? Maybe she doesnt want to leave her, or maybe she has issues with DH, because this golf thing also sounds suss.

Jenny would you like to buddy up ? I need a Forthright Friend too. I do everyone else's dirty work for them, no-one does mine

Loving "Forthright Fortnight"
A Twattishness-free Two Weeks

Yes, it could coincide with Rag Week...

The "I'm not being unreasonable-you are simply a buffoon" time of the month.
Mildly Irritated Monday
Telling it straight Tuesday
Whoop-Ass Wednesday
Thunderous Thursday
Frightening strangers Friday
Seething Saturday
Sanctimonious Sunday

She had the opportunity to tell you there was a problem with the DH initially. If she's a good friend, there woudl have been no reason to come up with the golfing excuse, she could and probably would have just emailed everyone or possibly one of you saying: this is a shit time for me and DD, sorry to rain on everyone's parade, but we could use some support. Can we think of a way that she can come so I can see you guys but we also get girlie time.

She didn't do that. SHe spoke of her DD looking forward to a fun trip with mummy's friends and suggested the event could be redesigned to accommodate this. For whatever non urgent reason she would prefer her DD to come.

I have a forthright friend, shes like a verbal assassin, call her, tell her the issue and she springs into action.

Yay! A Forthright Fortnight awareness-raising conference !

There could be Spine-Stiffening lectures, seminars on How to Grow A Pair and focus groups on how to word rebuttals of those Piss-Taking Passive-Aggressive Approaches for the Non-Forthrights.

The Forthrights could have hair-stroking sessions and eat biscuits.

< starts planning a venue >

I'm FF in my group too - suspect we may be disproportionally represented here on MN.

I was just about to say exactly that, Cinnabar

AF count me in! I can supply
Witty Banter

How To Make A Male Factory Worker Look Daft In Front Of His Mates When He Foolishly Takes The Mick

Lasagne

raises hand

I'm the FF in my group too.

Probably why I cannot understand this Overly Attached to her DD Woman

Yes, I have 2 kids, they are now Adults on their own.... Now, I'm friends with my kids.
When they were groing up.... I was their Mother

^^ Growing

I love my DD, but blimey i enjoy some time away from her, we get on each others nerves, im sure she needs "mummy free" time too.

Ah, she's an Irish Mammy?
'nuf said.