Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want this child to come on holidays with us

838 replies

arabesque · 10/04/2013 11:08

A group of girls I used to share a house with years ago have arranged to go on a reunion weekend to the West of Ireland in June. The plan was to book into a nice hotel, and spend the time relaxing, having nice meals and a few drinks and catching up and reminiscing. However, one of the group has now asked if its okay to bring her six year old daughter as her husband wants to play in a golf tournament that weekend. A child hanging around is going to completely change the tone of the holiday imho. I haven't spoken to all of the group yet but the two I have been in touch with are not too keen either.

AI (or we)BU to think of saying that we'd prefer if it was kept to adults only as it's the first time we've all been together in about ten years?

OP posts:
Lottashakingoinon · 17/04/2013 13:23

Okay Ginger new readers start here Grin

What she initially gave the press was that her DH planned a golfing weekend after this reunion was planned, but that seems to have fallen a bit by the wayside, and it now just seems that she wants to becasue she wants to...nothing more is known.

Now read on...

Lottashakingoinon · 17/04/2013 13:25

Cross post with Lotta and her rhino hide

Cerisier I'll have you know I have the backside of an emaciated matchstick actually you were right first time, but in any case I know that's not what you meant!!

Sugarice · 17/04/2013 13:29

I reckon because she has already promised her dd an exciting weekend with Mums's friends she doesn't want to break the news that dd is not invited.

Maybe her dd is a touch spoilt and likely to throw a humongous queen sized strop when the bad news is broken!

GingerBlondecat · 17/04/2013 13:30

Thankss Lotta Grin

I've read it all, just mind boggled at her way of thinking.
There is NO Gain here for her. She leeps this up, she wil be without any friends.

skippedtheripeoldmango · 17/04/2013 13:32

Because she's Hyacinth Bucket with a good dose of insidious added...

CinnabarRed · 17/04/2013 13:33

I'm starting to feel a bit worried for self-entitled friend.

Either her DH is an arse. Or she's unnaturally attached to her DD and sees her as a friend rather than a child (in which case I feel worried for the DD as well).

Neither is healthy.

hellsbellsmelons · 17/04/2013 13:38

Just caught up with this.
Wow - she sounds like a real 'piece of work'
I hope your friend handles it well tomorrow.
Wish her luck from us!!!

HorryIsUpduffed · 17/04/2013 13:40

Good text by NI friend. Hope it has the desired effect.

The whole thing is achingly sad one way or another. I hope it doesn't spoil the weekend itself.

lunar1 · 17/04/2013 13:40

Wow she really never gives up does she!

Sunnywithshowers · 17/04/2013 13:47

I hope tomorrow goes okay...

SugarPasteGreyhound · 17/04/2013 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnrequitedSkink · 17/04/2013 13:57

Can't believe I've only just seen this thread - I am loving the updates! Arabesque, has she always been this much hard work?!

bigTillyMint · 17/04/2013 14:11

Cinnabar, True Say!

Original poster
arabesque · 17/04/2013 14:12

She has texted NI friend back to say 'not much point coming all the way into town for a quick half hour lunch. How about I call over to yours tomorrow evening? I could bring some pizza for the kids and we could get a takeaway.

Absolutely no mention of 'not talking about the weekend' and obviously intends to bring DD with her. I'm starting to think she's unhinged. I don't remember her being like this in the house, she did sometimes invite herself along to parties or ask 'okay if I join?' if one of us was meeting up with some college friends for a few drinks, and I remember feeling a bit irritated sometimes, but I don't recall it being a big issue or people talking about it that much. The odd eyes rolled now and again, but that was it.

Anyway, NI friend has texted her back to say 'no, not possible. Next couple of weeks a bit crazy between work and kids stuff'.

OP posts:
McKayz · 17/04/2013 14:15

She's unhinged

Lottashakingoinon · 17/04/2013 14:18

Re your last Arabesque SHEEEEEEEESH!

Right I said I would use it and here goes:

She's got the neck of a jockey's arse/bollox

But I have to say, I am beginning to feel a little bit sad for her.

Original poster
arabesque · 17/04/2013 14:20

I am beginning to feel a little bit sad for her.*

Oh please don't say that Lottashake. I'm terrified that's how it will go and one or other (or all) of us will feel guilt tripped into letting her bring DD because she's being so pathetic about it. Sad

OP posts:
rainbow2000 · 17/04/2013 14:20

She is unhinged i would just tell her she is not welcome.But she probably wont take the hint.

Or just tell her the whole things cancelled and go anyway

Loulybelle · 17/04/2013 14:25

Dont feel guilty Arabesque, shes tried to manipulated and guilt you into change your weekend to suit herself.

Well screw her, its not one rule for one and another for the rest is it.

I dont take my DD onto girlie nights and stuff, i love my daughter, but i dont need to take her everywhere, shopping my friends dont mind because DD loves shopping, but night time is mummies time.

bigTillyMint · 17/04/2013 14:26

She is unhinged and manipulative - a dangerous combination!

GingerBlondecat · 17/04/2013 14:27

Sadly............. if you folks cave now. it would only serve to make her more Immoovable later. aka because she will be determined to Proove her DD is 'One of the Girls"

Sad

LadyBeagleEyes · 17/04/2013 14:29

Oh Arabesque, don't waver.
It's her that's creating the problem.

MooncupGoddess · 17/04/2013 14:29

Oh God!

Coincidentally I have had dealings with someone like this at work recently, and have realised that the only way to deal with it is to be absolutely, brutally upfront.

'No, sorry, that's not possible.'
'I'm afraid that we've discussed it and it's not possible.'
'As I told you yesterday, that's not possible.'

You will probably have to do it several times before it sinks in. Fortunately your nemesis is very transparent so your other friends should be able to see what she's doing very easily.

Squitten · 17/04/2013 14:30

Look arabesque - DO NOT crumble woman!!

Think about the staggering arrogance involved to believe that she can rearrange a long-planned trip with a group of people to suit herself. And, not only that, but to then seemingly launch a sniper campaign against individuals when the decision goes against her.

She is deranged! And I agree with Ginger, imagine the monster you would create if you backed down now...

CinnabarRed · 17/04/2013 14:30

We all love out kids but the rest of us understand that there are times and places that aren't suitable/where they're not welcome.

I'm starting to think that someone (Forthright Friend?) needs to call Self-Entitled Friend to probe a bit more about why she's so keen for DD to come along. Because it really isn't normal to be so attached to her DD as all that personally, much as I love my DCs, I can't wait for bedtime and some adult conversation.

Swipe left for the next trending thread