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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want this child to come on holidays with us

838 replies

arabesque · 10/04/2013 11:08

A group of girls I used to share a house with years ago have arranged to go on a reunion weekend to the West of Ireland in June. The plan was to book into a nice hotel, and spend the time relaxing, having nice meals and a few drinks and catching up and reminiscing. However, one of the group has now asked if its okay to bring her six year old daughter as her husband wants to play in a golf tournament that weekend. A child hanging around is going to completely change the tone of the holiday imho. I haven't spoken to all of the group yet but the two I have been in touch with are not too keen either.

AI (or we)BU to think of saying that we'd prefer if it was kept to adults only as it's the first time we've all been together in about ten years?

OP posts:
JaxTellerIsAllMine · 16/04/2013 14:21

wow! just WOW! More front than Blackpool indeed. Grin

cheeky mare. Adults only weekend. FFS, what part does she not 'get'?

2rebecca · 16/04/2013 14:45

I think you and your friends should just get on with orgainsing the weekend as you are and keep maing it clear to the other friend that he daughter is definitely not invited on this weekend and it is adults only. It sounds as though the friendship won't last beyond this weekend anyway. If you book an adults only weekend away and your babysitter falls through you cancel, you don't try and drag the kid along. If it was me I'd be telling my husband that I booked the weekend away first though and leaving him to sort out childcare. I'm not sure why the child is now her problem. Strange she is being stroppy and overassertive with you yet not equally assertive with her husband, that doesn't ring true so i wonder if he booked his weekend away first.

Farewelltoarms · 16/04/2013 15:00

Just thinking about the time recently when I got one of those dreaded 'your dc is feeling poorly' phone calls from school just before a women-only birthday lunch that I'd been really looking forward. What did I do?
a) I rung the restaurant immediately to reduce the booking by one as I didn't want my friend to have the hassle of doing it
b) I went to the restaurant with my (not very poorly as it happens) 6yo dd to give friend her birthday present, sit down for ten minutes to toast her and then leave. I felt that even ten minutes with daughter drawing on a napkin was a bit cheeky of me.
The idea of doing that for a full weekend?!?
At it's not just the shagging stories. When my dh and I go away (ok the twice it's happened) we've gone on really long walks. The joy of walking at a brisk pace without anyone whining, ah bliss. I would love to go on a two-hour walk with my five best friends and then come back to a huge martini. Bliss.
Do not feel guilty. Do not allow her to come. Do not allow any of this to impinge on your weekend at all.

CheerfulYank · 16/04/2013 15:00

Jeeez, she's got a nerve!

Floggingmolly · 16/04/2013 15:05

If your dd was potentially passing on the lurgy to the birthday guests, then it may have been, Farewell.

ProphetOfDoom · 16/04/2013 15:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Binkybix · 16/04/2013 15:14

OP - when is the weekend? I need to know how this finishes!

angelos02 · 16/04/2013 15:30

If she does turn up with DD in tow, she is clearly bonkers. If she does OP, just carry on with all the activities you had planned. Don't change a thing and make it very clear how furious you are with her.

Original poster
arabesque · 16/04/2013 15:31

It's the second weekend in June. A friend who now lives in America is coming over for a wedding on the previous weekend (a bank holiday here) so we're having a get together before she goes back. We're planning to travel down on the Friday and come back Sunday evening.

As I've said, it's the first time we've all been together in ten years. Only three of us still live in Dublin, one is in America, one in London, two in Northern Ireland and one in Cork. Really sad that one person has thrown a damper on it. But I was talking to my sister and she said that anytime she's arranged to go away with a gang you can be guaranteed there will be one person who starts trying to make last minute changes or inconvenience everyone to suit themselves. There's always one!

OP posts:
Original poster
arabesque · 16/04/2013 15:32

Sorry, only two of us still live in Dublin.

OP posts:
Binkybix · 16/04/2013 15:38

Thanks. That's my due date!

Just don't let it cast a shadow. In a way it's better that's she's gone SO over the top with this, because you know 100% the blame lays squarely with her.

BOF · 16/04/2013 15:40

Which are you looking forward to more, Binky, the birth or the update? Grin

Original poster
arabesque · 16/04/2013 15:41

I agree Binky, I've stopped worrying about 'upsetting' her because she really doesn't seem to be concerned about upsetting us.
TBH I really hope she doesn't come now. I know that sounds mean but she's just caused so much annoyance that I think we'd find it hard to be genuinely happy to see her.

OP posts:
Binkybix · 16/04/2013 15:42

Hard one to call! :)

Original poster
arabesque · 16/04/2013 15:42

ps will be thinking of you Binky while I'm (hopefully) sipping a nice big glass of wine on a sun lit lawn.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 16/04/2013 15:44
Binkybix · 16/04/2013 15:45

Maybe I'll use sipping a big glass of wine on the sunlit lawn as my happy place :)

rainbow2000 · 16/04/2013 15:52

Well as we say in Dublin she has a neck like a jockeys bollix.The nerve of her and i wouldnt be ringing hotels on her behalf to see if they have nanny or babysitters that would just be giving in to her.

Let her bring her dd hope they enjoy each others company cause tehy wont be having yours

Original poster
arabesque · 16/04/2013 15:54

Funny, rainbow my sister's words when I was talking to her were 'God, she has a neck like a jockey's arse' Grin

OP posts:
K8Middleton · 16/04/2013 15:56

I really, really want to know what happens next.

Lottashakingoinon · 16/04/2013 16:00

God, she has a neck like a jockey's arse
she has a neck like a jockeys bollix

Officially entered into my lexicon as of now!

Mommy2Bee · 16/04/2013 16:07

It sounds like this opportunity for the four of you to get together doesnt come around often....golf happens most weekends. But looking from the other side it's the being together that counts and it would be horrible for your friend to miss out because her DH is a g*t.

Mommy2Bee · 16/04/2013 16:10

Sorry, for some reason I ddnt see the recent messages (baby brain prob)....

NinaHeart · 16/04/2013 16:55

Ooh hurrah. I am on holiday first week of June. An update will make it worth coming home.

ExcuseTypos · 16/04/2013 17:41

Gosh what a cheeky mare!