Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

She smacked my daughter... WWYD??

744 replies

Clumsyoaf · 08/04/2013 12:53

In shock, just come home from a soft play place, went with some other mums that I have just started getting to know. DD (4 years old) being unruly - we are going through a phase at the moment, one of the other mums just picked her up and smacked her on her bottom. I was completely stunned - I would never hit a child my own or someone elses... DD in tears i just gathered up DS's stuff took DD and left.

I want to pick her up on it, or call the police or something..... sorry dont have anyone in RL i cant speak to right now so sorry for ranty message im just still stunned!

WWYD?????

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 22:44

oh do go and slap someone else childs and see what you get for it. Im off to bed.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/04/2013 22:44

Oh. Already moved on. Happens to me all the time Blush

What I described above ^^ is obviously my experience only - plus it was the Canadian army - sounds like some other posters have more up to date experience!

IntheFrame · 09/04/2013 22:47

The mother was watching though as were all the others.

If the smack was hard enough to leave a bruise through tights and denim skirt that is going to be more of a thump than an open handed smack. I can't believe any of the other mothers won't have done/said something even if the Op was too shocked?

moonabove · 09/04/2013 22:47

"have you been cryongenically frozen for thirty years?" Grin

ExcuseTypos · 09/04/2013 22:48

It is assault to hit (or smack) someone else's child!

It's quite frightening that some people don't seem to know that.

LovePickles · 09/04/2013 22:48

It was assault Uppa, as its defined.

Just because you're uncomfortable using the phrase doesn't make it any less so. Unwanted physical contact with intent.

You could believe a door is called a carpet, you could should until the cows come home, but a door is what it is as its defined.

LovePickles · 09/04/2013 22:52

Could shout* oops

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:55

Sorry Head-Lopper, I thought when you chose your name you would have thought a teensy bit about its literary context and meaning.

Madame De Farge was the famous literary figure (Dickens) who would knit at her ring-side seat next to the guillotine circa 1789. She came to a sad demise, hoist by her own petard.

It's a great name for you though. You should really stick with your convictions.

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:56

Excuse Typos....it's not assault in England. It's battery. By law.

Would YOU prosecute on such measly grounds?

Stepissue · 09/04/2013 22:58

I believe she would know why she chose her own username Hmm I think she asked the question because it is awfully stupid to keep referring to someone as 'head-lopper' rather than their actual posting name.

Actually, although I said 'stupid' I meant 'stupid AND pretentious'. Do you really think people on here don't know who the character is? You're very funny Grin

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LovePickles · 09/04/2013 23:04

Yes Uppa, that's what I said - in England it's battery.

In answer to your question, no. Then, the OP isn't prosecuting, and never suggested she wanted the other mother arrested and prosecuted. I'd wanted her warned though, that hitting children, especially other people's cannot happen again.

LovePickles · 09/04/2013 23:07

Ignorant of literature?

Stepissue · 09/04/2013 23:07

I respect you for coming back to me with a response Uppa, even though I completely disagree with it Smile Grin

It just seems so childish to refer to someone not by their posting name but by a reference to it. It was very LOOK AT ME - I'VE READ A TALE OF TWO CITIES!!!

Really? Wowee. I think it takes a little more than that on here to impress Grin

Think she's gone to bed so is rude of us to talk about her in her absence. What I don't understand though is why you think anyone would have chosen that name if they hadn't read the book? Genuine question by the way (and I'm VERY sure she has read the book)

moonabove · 09/04/2013 23:07

I find it amusing to see someone so ludicrously uppa themselves getting off on their imagined superiority when nobody else cares.

thezebrawearspurple · 09/04/2013 23:14

If someone smacked my bum because I behaved in a manner that they thought was wrong, it would be classified as assault, children have the same protection under the law, you can't just go around hitting people however young they are. It's only ok to hit people in self defence, defence of another or in extreme circumstances to give a violent thug a taste of their own medicine. I don't see that being the case here, assuming op's description accurate, her response was unacceptable.

In saying that, knowing your daughter has behavioural issues means that you have a responsibility to ensure she's properly supervised by an adult at all times. That's how you prevent situations like this. If you or another trustworthy adult is not there to discipline, then others will take it upon themselves to do so, some of those people will be aggressive arseholes and overreact or react unfairly.

I think your response to this woman has been very measured, you would have been entirely justified in hitting her to see how she liked it. A visit from the police may save her from a violent reaction from the parent of the next child she decides to attack.

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 23:20

Oh it's just silly games, Steps. I called her Head-Lopper to amuse myself. She didn't get it. She obviously doesn't know what it means. That's the end of it.

My silly take on it is that if she doesn't even know what her name means (which she didn't) then I shouldn't take her opinions seriously. We could split hairs on this one. I mean, when is a cup of tea up a tree?

I was being an arse, really. I didn't mean to insult her not knowing what her user name meant. I've never even read a Tale of Two Cities. Just seen the film about 20 times.

And yes, I DO believe her DD was treated terribly. I'd be so upset. But I wouldn't have hit her (the other mum), I would't have called the police.

I would have dealt with it myself. With LOTS of advice from all my friends and family. I feel very sorry for the OP.

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 23:23

Thezebrawearspurple, nobody said the DD has behavioural issues.

Let's get that straight.

The DD was behaving as a of lot naughty 4 y old DDs do at times.

No matter what, smacking someone else's child is never ok.

thezebrawearspurple · 09/04/2013 23:29

She did say in other posts that her dd was being very difficult lately and having issues with her behaviour. When kids are going through phases where they are acting out a lot of the time, they need extra supervision. Where did I say that smacking someone else's child was ok? I didn't. The fecker that smacked the child on the other hand.....

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 23:34

I didn't say you said it was ok to smack a child....sorry if that wasn't clear. I just think it's a dangerous leap to say a child can be tricky to saying a child has behavioural issues. Sorry, this thread has got me so paranoid!
Hope you're ok OP

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 23:36

Sorry...bit confused about the my name thing...you don't like it? It just means I am married to Nigel, that's all (obv in my dreams!)

PrincessFiorimonde · 09/04/2013 23:41

But, Uppa 'head-lopper' is incorrect, as MmeD lopped no heads. In either the book or the film.

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 23:41

A tale of two evils then? Grin

Goodnight Madame De Farge.

thezebrawearspurple · 09/04/2013 23:43

No Uppa, that's my fault, 'behavioural issues' tends to mean something serious needing diagnosis on mumsnet, whereas if I was having a conversation with friends that would be used to describe normal but unwanted behaviours. It's easy for people to get their wires crossed when we're saying one thing and someone else is hearing something elseGrin

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 23:46

why Princess, how lovely to see you! Have you come to supervise my 19th-century reading list?