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Original poster

She smacked my daughter... WWYD??

744 replies

Clumsyoaf · 08/04/2013 12:53

In shock, just come home from a soft play place, went with some other mums that I have just started getting to know. DD (4 years old) being unruly - we are going through a phase at the moment, one of the other mums just picked her up and smacked her on her bottom. I was completely stunned - I would never hit a child my own or someone elses... DD in tears i just gathered up DS's stuff took DD and left.

I want to pick her up on it, or call the police or something..... sorry dont have anyone in RL i cant speak to right now so sorry for ranty message im just still stunned!

WWYD?????

OP posts:
Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:24

The safety of children? Are you serious!? The child got a smack on the bottom. God, what would you have done in the early 80's when children were routinely caned at school and came home with welts on them?

It was a smack on the bottom.

Big deal. It's socially unconscionable but not criminal.

Nobody's safety was at risk.

It's no wonder kids feel so entitled these days.

To call the police was ridiculous. It could easily have been sorted out with a phone call, an apology, a nice little token for DD and be done with it.

Can't believe the police have to waste their time with this.

fishybits · 09/04/2013 22:25

Some of you don't half talk a load of bollocks.

I am married to a man in the forces and there is no way I or any of the other officers wives here would be called upon to mediate in any situation like this or indeed any domestic situation

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 22:27

Land, thank heavens! there was I imagining some weirdy closed society...

Bessie123 · 09/04/2013 22:27

uppatreecuppatea a random person smacking a kid in the 80s would still be committing a criminal offence. It is completely irrelevant what a teacher may or may not have done

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 22:28

Uppa I think you will find it was criminal, and other forces wives seem to disagree with you. hm.

LovePickles · 09/04/2013 22:28

It's not over-use if its used as its defined by law. If the law defines it as an assault then that is what it is and should be treated as such. Just because its a child makes it no different. I wouldn't have called the police, but the OP rang 101 for advice and based on what OP said, they referred a PCSO to her. She didn't ring 999 for emergency response and an ambulance. She showed common sense.

You talk about how forces families handle it and who you go to in events withing your circle, but the rest of us rely on community support if needed. That's what PCSO's are for to deal with matters within that community. I don't see how it's any different.

Bessie123 · 09/04/2013 22:29

Of course it is criminal to hit someone else's kid. When I was a child in the 80s a friend's dad got a 6 month jail sentence for grabbing a child who was bullying his son roughly on the arm.

Fleecyslippers · 09/04/2013 22:32

Uppatree I'll come round and hit your kid, then buy you a box of maltesers and it will all be tickety boo.

You talk bollocks.

IntheFrame · 09/04/2013 22:34

The op has handled this the wrong way.

The other mother smacked her child in front of her and the other mothers.That was the time to sort it out. Storming out understandable but the police is just drama queen stuff. What does she want them to do? Charge her with assault, really?

I would be secretly mortified that someone thought my child was naughty enough to smack actually as incensed that she was taking disciplining my child into her own hands.

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:35

Well, it has been a few years so perhaps things have changed. I've heard these things do happen. Wink.

I just cringe at the words 'criminal' and 'assault'. Can't we all be adult enough these days to sort these things out ourselves?

It just seems so extreme to attribute such words to such minor things.

Do you actually think this act warrants criminal investigation? Please answer that.

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 22:36

In the frame. do toddle along.

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 22:37

what is so adult in letting a child be assaulted? have you been cryongenically frozen for thirty years?

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:38

"hit your kid"?

The child got a smack on the bottom.

Build a bridge and get over it.

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 22:39

oh dear. you are boring me now.

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:39

A child was NOT ASSAULTED. A child got a smacked bottom.

FFS!

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 22:40

yeah yeah. as you wish.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 09/04/2013 22:40

Thread in danger of getting sidetracked but I'm a forces daughter in law and was almost a forces wife (DH actually left the army for pastures new before we got married) and I do think there can be pressure in some circumstances for the "wives" to keep it "all in the family" rather than involve the civilian police force. I've also seen cases where the senior officer or his wife take charge of a personal situation in an almost paterfamilias role, such as a young soldier getting into personal debt for example. In a job in the civilian world, I really can't imagine someone's boss sorting out their personal finances for them!

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:40

Head-lopper, don't tell people to toddle along. That's so insulting. Who gives you the right to tell people what to do. I fucking hate it when people say 'do toddle....'

I'm totally with ITF.

LovePickles · 09/04/2013 22:41

Uppa, the OP believed the smack left a mark, so yes she did believe it warranted an 'investigation' of sorts. She was asking advice on what to do when she called the non-emergency number. If they had advised she talked to the other mother and sort it out, she probably would have. Instead they said she should have no contact and wait for a PCSO to call around. She did the right thing.

Bessie123 · 09/04/2013 22:42

uppatree smacking a random kid's bottom is assault. I think if a good friend does it to your child you can probably sort it out with a lot of shouting, effing and blinding but if it were someone I didn't know very well I can't say I definitely wouldn't go to the police, I think I might.

IntheFrame · 09/04/2013 22:42

In the frame. do toddle along...

Why? What you going do about it.

Oh yes report me.. because apparently that's a better way of doing things than confronting people head on

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:42

Hearts, loving your "paterfamilias"

Just coz it said what I meant 6 post ago.

MadameDefarge · 09/04/2013 22:42

btw, who is headlopper?

Fleecyslippers · 09/04/2013 22:44

My ex husband hit my child on the leg (He calls it a smack) With a flat open hand. He got a police caution for ASSAULT.
You don't have a clue what you are screeching about and I think the advice to toddle along is very timely.

Uppatreecuppatea · 09/04/2013 22:44

MadameDefarge,

It's just for you.

Please tell me you know why.

If not, I'll find it hard to believe anything you've said! Grin