AIBU to think DP's ex has no right to phone at 5.30 am?

[MsColour]

My partner (we don't yet live together but we are planning on moving in together in the summer) was staying over the other day. His ex-wife phoned him at 5.30 in the morning to say that she had a leaking pipe and didn't know where the stopcock is. The leak was in their son's room.

My dp had no idea where the stopcock was as it is 3 years since he lived in the house. He told her he didn't appreciate being phoned at that time in the morning as it was no an emergency. She wasn't alone, she had her boyfriend with her. She then phoned back later to argue that it was an emergency and she had every right to phone.

I was furious as she could have disturbed my sleeping children plus dp has been unwell and really needs the sleep himself. Plus, I don't like her feeling he can be at her beck and call every time she has a problem.

If a line has to be drawn it's your boyfriend's responsibility to draw it (assuming he agrees that's the case of course). You can bemoan it all you like but it's up to him.

Go for it nokids !

"Fgs what is she? Some poor little woman who can't turn the water off or move hr son to a different room for a while?"

Well, no. Apparently what she is is someone who didn't know where the stopcock is and called someone she thought may know.

Quite straight forward, really.

I'm guessing water mixing with electric wires has whooshed nokids completely

Moving her son to a different room isn't going to magically stop the leak.

Yes she should obviously know where the stopcock is but the fact is she didn't.

So she rang her ex who lives alone at 5.30am (who despite living there 3yrs ago didn't know either).

It's so not a big deal.

nokids what a ridiculous comment. Unless stopcock is in the 'usual' place, I expect most people wouldn't be able to find theirs, asking an ex-partner (as I said I would have to, my Ex moved ours when he extended our house) is perfectly reasonable.

But she should have known... She lived there longer than her ex.. Presumably she was/is a single parent at some point... It's her business to know! It's her home!

Yes. It is his responsibility to draw it which he is repeatedly trying to do. I do not interfere, I never do and never will get actively involved. But I think I'm allowed to feel a bit pissed off sometimes!

How can you not know this stuff? Are you seriously telling me that none of you would be able to turn water/electrics off if you were alone at home? And if not, why do you not know?

But she didn't know!
I don't know where mine is, many others on the thread have said the same.
I know now though, as does she. So that's great, isn't it.

I agree nokids but given the fact she didn't know where her stopcock was (and nor did her ex as it turned out) what was she supposed to do?

She thought he might know, she was in a panic, he lives alone, she rang him.

I don't get why it's a big deal?

I wonder what she did after the ex said he didn't know either?

Nokids - I know where/how to shut off the electrics, trooped switch etc.
Just never had any reason to ever think about the stopcock. Seriously never occurred to me. Bit silly really, but in the grand scheme of things etc...

I wonder what she did after the ex said he didn't know either?

I don't know?

Called a plumber and paid a fortune?

Knocked on a neighbour's house and asked them?

Either way, the ex would be the first port of call for me if I was silly enough to not know where my stopcock was...being as though he used to live there too.

Surely ringing him was common sense?

nokidshere Sun 07-Apr-13 00:22:08
I wonder what she did after the ex said he didn't know either?

What,you mean she didn't ring you,for some practical advice and empathy??!

Lol Hilda...practical I can do

Sorry, bollocks to she should have known! She probably assumed it was in the usual place (under the kitchen sink), and only when she needed to turn it off found it wasn't there.

Do you go round checking you know the location of each and every thing in your house? I don't, I'm too busy working FT and being a LP. AS I suspect is the case for the OP's boyfriend's Ex.

THIS: - OP; first reply; OP...

1 - MsColour 22:01:40
'My partner (we don't yet live together..... was staying over.... His ex-wife phoned him at 5.30 in the morning....a leaking pipe and didn't know where the stopcock is..... I was furious as she could have disturbed my sleeping children plus dp has been unwell and really needs the sleep himself.' 'Plus, I don't like her feeling he can be at her beck and call every time she has a problem.

2 - LayMizzRarb 22:03:14
'Err, a leaking water pipe is a emergency.....'

3 - MsColour 22:04:46
'Her emergency - not his problem.'

Yes OP OF COURSE you were canvassing opinions on your view in AIBU

Ah... & THIS l'il gem - 'I accept that they will spend his birthday together and have genuine conversations'

In a million years would (or could!) my Ex & I spend day together on DC's birthdays.... If 'your' DP & his Ex-Missus do do that (as well as him choosing to spend other time with her), suggests a serious level of amicability? And one you are SOOOOO not comfortable with. Dollop of the jel biccy methinks? Tho it's big of you as a Ma yourself to, y'know,' 'accept' that his son will be in his life etc.[WTF??!] Given all above, if it was the Ex who left him, I'd be slightly concerned too TBH.

Pretty obvious where the prob lies OP - and it not the Ex....

velvet no I don't go round checking locations I simply asked the previous owner or estate agent before I moved in to the houses I have lived in!

Your problem isn't that she phoned about the emergency, it's the persistent phoning and texting that's pissing you off.

Put it in the OP, don't bloody start changing the story when you don't get the answer you want.

Annoying.