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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think DP's ex has no right to phone at 5.30 am?

144 replies

MsColour · 06/04/2013 22:01

My partner (we don't yet live together but we are planning on moving in together in the summer) was staying over the other day. His ex-wife phoned him at 5.30 in the morning to say that she had a leaking pipe and didn't know where the stopcock is. The leak was in their son's room.

My dp had no idea where the stopcock was as it is 3 years since he lived in the house. He told her he didn't appreciate being phoned at that time in the morning as it was no an emergency. She wasn't alone, she had her boyfriend with her. She then phoned back later to argue that it was an emergency and she had every right to phone.

I was furious as she could have disturbed my sleeping children plus dp has been unwell and really needs the sleep himself. Plus, I don't like her feeling he can be at her beck and call every time she has a problem.

OP posts:
ChippingInIsEggceptional · 06/04/2013 22:15

You sound like a right bloody nightmare. Get A Grip.

He sounds a bit dim, so what if it's been 3 years since he lived there, it's not hard to remember where a stopcock is.

It's not as though she was ringing for a social chit chat - the pipe was leaking.

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2013 22:15

I suppose she could have grabbed some pretty pebbles and turned it into a water feature until about 9.30am?

BruthasTortoise · 06/04/2013 22:15

And the fact that your DP, his ex or her DP couldn't locate it would lead you to believe that the stopcock isn't in one of the obvious places.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey · 06/04/2013 22:16

Grin Worra

CheCazzo · 06/04/2013 22:17

@ worra

SatsukiKusukabe · 06/04/2013 22:17

it was an emergency for her and yurt partners son. presumably she thought he might remember where it was. it's really nothing to do with you. I assumed this thread was going to be her calling your landline and that you and do live together

Bowlersarm · 06/04/2013 22:17

Sorry but another YABU. It's not a great deal to ask is it?

SatsukiKusukabe · 06/04/2013 22:17

oh and yabvu

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 06/04/2013 22:17

My stopcock is behind one of the kitchen cupboards on one of the 'side' walls of the kitchen, not near the sink. Some twat thought it a reasonable idea to put a cabinet infront of it and not even mark where it was... 3 cabinets later....

AmberLeaf · 06/04/2013 22:18

I'm guessing there are other issues too.

Just a stab in the dark.

TrinityRhino · 06/04/2013 22:18

I dont think she was being unreasonable

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 06/04/2013 22:19

Worra it's Saturday - not before 11am surely, when it's an ex ... and not at all unless one of the children has at least severed a limb??

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2013 22:19

Same here Chipping

We had to hack half the back of the cupboard off Hmm

Original poster
MsColour · 06/04/2013 22:19

Small leak - slight dripping. Not water gushing everywhere. Son was safe and out of the way.

Furious - because this is not the first time she has expected him to be at his beck and call.

If the boot were on the other foot I would not expect my ex to help. I would call a family member.

OP posts:
mynewpassion · 06/04/2013 22:19

Even if there are other issues this incident was a legitimate emergency.

MadCap · 06/04/2013 22:20

I think this might be a reverse aibu. If not, yabvu.

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2013 22:20

Hmm well I suppose 11am's ok but only if it doubles as a bird bath.

Booyhoo · 06/04/2013 22:20

would you have preferred she didn't call at 5.30. waited another 45 minutes unable to find the stop cock meaning the water went through the ceiling and fucking up the electrics and then phoned at 6.15 to ask him to come and collect his son as there was no electric, no heating, no hot water and no bed for the child to sleep in?

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 06/04/2013 22:21

She is stupid for not knowing where the stopcock is. Everyone should make it their business to know this and not rely on other people. This goes for gas mains and fuse boxes.

ChippingInIsEggceptional · 06/04/2013 22:21

Worra - we did too, 3 backs of cabinets. Thankfully we did it when we needed to turn the water off for some plumbing to be sorted and didn't have to do it when there was a leaking pipe!

Fargo86 · 06/04/2013 22:21

She should know where the stop cock is instead of relying on a man who hasn't lived there for 3 years to know! It's a fairly basic thing to know for any adult.

AllOverIt · 06/04/2013 22:22

Is this one of those AIBU where everyone tells you you are being unreasonable and the poster comes on being arsey and refuses to accept that they might be BU...?

HeathRobinson · 06/04/2013 22:22

Do you know where your stopcock is, op?

WorraLiberty · 06/04/2013 22:22

Your boyfriend is a family member to her because he's her son's Dad and the leak was in her son's room.

I'm quite sure if I phoned another family member at 5.30am, they'd ask why the fuck I didn't ring my ex, considering he used to live there (so might have some clue) and that it's his son's room.

SatsukiKusukabe · 06/04/2013 22:22

also you should probably get used to her prioritizing her children over you. You've decided her child not sleeping in a cold wet room is less important than your pfb getting a lay in.

the boy is your partners son and your relationship won't last if you can't see he matters.

and if he doesn't matter to your partner you'd be smart to get out now for your kids sake