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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel a bit sad for DC who never gets chosen as the 'winner' of pass the parcel

58 replies

Helium321 · 30/03/2013 22:24

I know this is ridiculous and it really doesn't matter but I still feel a bit sad for DS who never gets chosen to be the 'winner' of pass the parcel. He's only 3 but has been to many parties now where it's the same little group of friends and everyone now has had a turn or 2 at 'winning' but he hasn't. I know it's not about the prize but he sits there so patiently and always happily cheers with everyone for the winner. It's never really bothered me as he takes part so well but today we went to a party, it was only 5 of them in the circle including the birthday child and by the end of the game only him and one other child was really participating. Another child was more interested in playing with a toy so in the end the parcel just kept going between my child and one other or in the floor in the middle and kept going 'round' until an adult forced the parcel on the kid who was by this point playing with another toy in the circle and she became the winner. Obviously, the host is allowed to 'choose' who they want to win but feel its a bit unfair when it's even shown in such a way.

I'm waiting to be told I'm being unreasonable but still feel a bit irritated!

OP posts:

hwjm1945 · 30/03/2013 22:28

Best way to do it at that age is make sure birthday boy or girl wins!

InNeedOfBrandy · 30/03/2013 22:28

Never had this problem, every single (god such a fucking lot) little kids party dc have been to over the years have done a prize under every wrapper and every dc has a prize and the middle one is something like cardboard masks for everyone/or sweets for everyone.

OhDearieDearieMe · 30/03/2013 22:28

But welcome anyway - I'm sure you'll find some useful advice here.

AgentZigzag · 30/03/2013 22:30

I really do try to avoid minimising and OPs worries because even small things, when they get out of perspective, can be a real worry at times.

But honestly this has to be the least serious worry I've ever read on MN

You are unreasonable to focus in on this one, and I'd be a bit concerned about you if I knew you in RL because there are going to be times when there are legitimate reasons to be outraged on your DCs behalf, and I think your head might just explode

scottishtablet · 30/03/2013 22:31

Stop keeping track, it's not good for you, and you've got a long way still to go with kid's parties!

He sounds such a lovely little boy, you should be very proud of him.

Original poster

Helium321 · 30/03/2013 22:31

Inneedofabrandy- that is such a fab way to do the middle prize. I may do that for DS birthday.

OP posts:

HollaAtMeBaby · 30/03/2013 22:31

YABU and precious. It's great that your DS is able to be a good loser at only 3 - be proud of that and give him lots of praise for it. His turn will come!

Original poster

Helium321 · 30/03/2013 22:32

I know, you are all right! I am kicking my self for being so annoyed at something so stupid! So I thought I'd rant on here for some proper perspective!

Thanks ladies!

OP posts:

EduCated · 30/03/2013 22:32

ALWAYS do more layers than children and use different paper for the last one. Make sure they get one layer each then close your eyes for the big prize. And never for children below the age of 3 or preferably 5

goodfreyedaysusan · 30/03/2013 22:32

one layer for each child, with small sweet carefully done so that everyone gets sweet. random selection of next child to win.

some random prizes, like best dancer which can be given out to non winners.

b4bunnies · 30/03/2013 22:32

that is good for the middle, i'll try to remember that one. i've always put a sweet in each layer and something small in the middle.

Flojobunny · 30/03/2013 22:33

YANBU
My DD went to a party recently and under each wrapper was a haribo packet and a toy at the end. There 10 kids and 9 wrappers. My DD waited so patiently and was the only one that missed out. She even came to me and said mummy why didn't I get a go. I felt so bad for her but host didn't seem to care. I was quietly cross at the poor organisation to not have enough for each child. I ended up buying her some haribo on the way home from the party.

sittinginthesun · 30/03/2013 22:34

What eduCated said.

VelvetSpoon · 30/03/2013 22:34

YANBU, it's a bit unfair. We used to always have a prize under every layer - and the 'big' prize was never much bigger than all the layer prizes.

Plus I used to have a big bowl of sweets and little toys, and any child who hadn't got a layer present could come up and choose one at the end :)

Is it wrong I actually miss children's parties (mine are 12 and 15 this year so far too old for this kind of thing!)

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/03/2013 22:35

I only do pass the parcel if I can give ALL the DC a prize. But I'm a softie and have been known to take an extra Easter bonnet to school for the child who inevitably comes without one...there IS always one child too.

I have also taken in extra packed lunches and other stuff...whenever the teachers send a text or note home asking for something special, I have a little panic about the poor, sad kid who will come without!

If your DS came here, he'd win OP!

Coconutty · 30/03/2013 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 30/03/2013 22:36

Make sure the birthday boy/girl wins?! [gasp] So they get all the birthday presents that their guests being for them AND get it fixed so they win at pass the parcel?! Bloody hell, if you're already doing this with your own children then it's not going to make you or them very popular!

YellowDinosaur · 30/03/2013 22:36

What agentzigzag said.

And a middle prize with something for everyone is NOT a good idea imho. It just perpetuates this bullshit about 'oh no we can't have any losers lets remove competition from everything so noone gets upset' utter bullshit. What happens when they grow up expecting to always get what they want?

Ok I know he is only 3 but op you are overthinking it. You've said he's happy and claps and enjoys it. Praise him for that and stop worrying.

PoppyWearer · 30/03/2013 22:36

Ok, here is how it should be done.

One layer per child, with small prize (chocolate buttons please not fecking Haribo, not all children like Haribo) between each layer.

A few extra layers for the enthusiastic ones who open extra layers (colour coded tissue paper helps) and for the didn't-RSVP and older-sibling extras.

Last layer: done randomly. The adult controlling to music is Not Allowed To Look.

Techie side-note: Sonos is fab for pass-the-parcel unless you have unreliable wifi. Then it is shit.

YellowDinosaur · 30/03/2013 22:38

Imho they don't give a shit about the middle prize anyway and are more upset if they don't get a sweet between the layers so make sure there's at least as many layers as kids and they'll be happy!

LimeLeaffLizard · 30/03/2013 22:39

Sweetie in every layer of the parcel here too. Everyone gets to open one layer, so everyone gets one sweetie. The middle prize is often a bit crap anyway and all the winner wants is the same sweetie that everyone else got.

Suggest this to your friends?

Don't overthink this sort of stuff, your son probably hasn't noticed.

piprabbit · 30/03/2013 22:41

I have successfully managed a game of parcel the parcel for 26 children, with two parcels, circulating in opposite directions, with a gift for every child. It was probably my finest parenting moment [bugrin].

EduCated · 30/03/2013 22:44

Piprabbit

Witchcraft. It must be.

piprabbit · 30/03/2013 22:46

I've never dared to try and repeat it - I was mad to even try and it was 100% a fluke that it worked.

lookingforbaubles · 30/03/2013 22:46

we do 6 children and 6 parcels all at the same time

loads of paper ripping with teeny tiny prize in the middle but much fun [busmile]

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