To feel a bit sad for DC who never gets chosen as the 'winner' of pass the parcel

[Helium321]

I know this is ridiculous and it really doesn't matter but I still feel a bit sad for DS who never gets chosen to be the 'winner' of pass the parcel. He's only 3 but has been to many parties now where it's the same little group of friends and everyone now has had a turn or 2 at 'winning' but he hasn't. I know it's not about the prize but he sits there so patiently and always happily cheers with everyone for the winner. It's never really bothered me as he takes part so well but today we went to a party, it was only 5 of them in the circle including the birthday child and by the end of the game only him and one other child was really participating. Another child was more interested in playing with a toy so in the end the parcel just kept going between my child and one other or in the floor in the middle and kept going 'round' until an adult forced the parcel on the kid who was by this point playing with another toy in the circle and she became the winner. Obviously, the host is allowed to 'choose' who they want to win but feel its a bit unfair when it's even shown in such a way.

I'm waiting to be told I'm being unreasonable but still feel a bit irritated!

See this is where things have changed soooo much since I was little. Which feels like a while millenium sometimes. And because I'm mean, and don't agree with everything in life being fair, I do NO gifts between wrappers, and one prize in the middle. Prize won purely at random. Otherwise you may as well not bother , if their all going to win anyway. Makes no sense of the game.

I nicked this idea from a friend of mine...

Enough layers for each child to unwrap one, and have instructions for all to do something in between each layer eg 'sing the Grand old Duke of York with actions' for little ones.

It nicely passes a bit more time than ordinary PTP. Then have something for everyone in the middle.

My dd has a friend who gets really upset if he does't win. He's 6, and I don't feel my daughter's birthday party is where he needs to learn about life's knocks.

At my sons party we did a prize under every layer some big some little and then a main prize. At the end I asked if anyone didn't get a prize and had a bag full of treats for them to pick from. It's not hard to make sure everyone gets a little something. Plus a few milky buttons aren't going to break the bank. The people who don't are just mean IMO!

We always did the haribos for every child then totally random end prize. However there was one little girl with a medical condition which meant she had a very restricted diet. I always used a different colour paper for her and made sure she got stickers instead. Her mum worked our what I was doing one time and thanked me profusely.

I only had one birthday party, when I was around 5 years old. Back then (early 60's) pretty much every party was the same - party games followed by sandwiches, squash and cake, a few more games, then guests go home. No party bags, just a few sweets or whatever they had won from the various games. My mum did a 'pass the parcel' game. There was a gift between each layer and, what's more, each gift was personalised for the recipient. I don't know where she had seen them, but she got a small (artificial) mother of pearl heart brooch for each child with their names on. She had a list of what order children needed to unwrap and somehow it worked perfectly. This was in the days before named items were easily available, so she clearly put a lot of thought into it.

When our DCs were of an age for parties, we usually made sure there was a small gift for everybody between the wrappers of the parcel and something for them all to share in the middle.

He's only 3 but has been to many parties now

Or you could have a children like mine who get to 9 or 10yo having never been to hardly any parties.

I agree it's a bit mean to have PtP without small favours inbetween each layer, though.

I think the small prize between each layer is a modern thing.

When I was a kid all you got between each ;ayer was a small written forfeit that had to be performed by the unwrapper.It made it more intersting as you got towards the middle because there was the excitement that the next layer might be the prize or then again it might be yet another forfeir requiring you to stand up and sing or something.

What AgentZigZag said in about the 3rd reply !

I'm stunned that anyone would actually know that "everyone has had a turn or two at winning" . How can anyone's life be so empty they actually both compute, and remember such details ???