To tell dh I'd rather he didn't go out tonight

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Got home at 9.00pm as been visiting family. Both kids fell asleep in car and we carried them up to bed. I said I'm also going to bed as bad night last night with both kids waking and also clocks change tonight so we lose an hour.

Anyway ten mins ago he says in that case would I mind if he goes out.

I said I do mind because:

• I will not sleep properly until he's safely home which if he's going now means after midnight at least thus negating the early night

• I do night wakings as he is very heavy sleeper and never wakes so I would end up waking him up to do it and we'd both be knackered so instead he takes dc downstairs at 7am and I catch up for hour or two. Partic need this at moment as dc2 is three months. But if dh not home until late either he does this still but spends tomorrow knackered. Which you might say is not my problem but it is if it ruins our family Easter day or he needs afternoon sleep. Or I don't get my lie in catch up which is fine if tonight is ok but not if it's another bad one.

So I said in all honesty because I am so tired I'd prefer him not to and he said ok but is now downstairs sulking and I am upstairs feeling bad though am bf and then going to sleep and at least won't be lying here awake until he's safely home.

Aibu?

Your thoughts on how other posters should behave is a bit controlling Boring, and weirdly over involved.

If you think so little of people being on here because they're bored, what's the reason you're here?

Loser, surely......?

"I wish mn would get rid of AIBU was so reasonable before"

What does that mean? Genuine question.

nars, I don't understand the first sentence of your last post. Am I illiterate?

I do, but my sense of humour is very different to the majority

Exactly thornrose.

I don't want to go to the pub tonight either. Dh is in bed. But if I wanted to go out and he told me I couldn't because why should I be allowed to go and have fun while he was doing exactly what he wanted I'd laugh at him.

Of course, if he had a genuine reason as to why he really needed me here I'd support him like a shot. But having a life without your partner is not something to be pitied ffs.

I have no idea how loose anyone here is

Just for the record...

Loser, surely.....?

May be our Pub's too close [busmile].

DH can go and sit there and look at the same view and buy beer for much more than in the supermarket. And he has to make polite conversation in there if he sees anyone he knows. And he complains that it's full of young people being loud and without homes to go to. Miserable old sod really.

Exactly that Yellow

I find it quite disturbing that anyone who wants to pop out for a beer, is deemed to loathe their own company.

Quite odd.

Pahahahahaha at 'now people just post what they fuck they like and their illiterate cronies agree with them'

You're being too obvious.

Ooh is hate to be in a relationship where we just go out as a couple , no individuality. We have night out apart and together.
Today dh asked if I minded if he stayed out at a mates as they were having a lads night out. Dh rarely drinks so a hangover to him would last ALL day. So I said on this occasion yes I do we a soooooo busy tomorow ALL day so can't have him sweating out alchol all day and hugging toilet. He agreed and took me for a meal instead! [Grin]
Any other time I wouldn't have a problem with it. BUT do understand on not getting off to sleep till he gets back, I'm really light sleeper and then the turnip will ring me to tell me he is on way back even though i repeatedly ask him not to!

I'm sorry but when people post about other people being illiterate and their own post makes no sense it does make me smile.

Have been following with internet and relating it to self when bf a baby and with toddler,think I would prob feel miffed that he had the freedom to up any go that I no longer had,but maybe I was a bit of a martyr? Think I can understand OP being worried about him being tired tomorrow,in the early days I used to get panicked about lack of sleep,

By the time DC3 now 10m, was born I was a lone parent, so I often sit on my own drinking in front of the tele on a Saturday night, but I am also on duty and manage to 'cope' ok on my own, and sometimes even manage to sleep on my own or get up in the night and in the morning on my own, and we have all survived just fine.

These sort of threads amuse me, with all the 'oh it's my turn for a lie in, I've been up in the night, I'm breastfeeding' etc etc, FFS get on with it!

YABU. If you are going to bed anyway I can't see why your DH can't go out if he wants to. You're really tired and he's not. But if he doesn't help tomorrow then you will be reasonable to be annoyed. But at least give him a chance.

Going up now. Just need to check that DH can sleep without me by his side. [buwink]. still think some of you have been a bit mean to the OP though My DH wouldn't have gone to the pub after a day out if I was going to bed - OTOH I've spent years wondering why it takes five hours to watch 90 minutes of football.

Of course yabu married
Surely you can see how having a couple of drinks will ruin Easter Sunday for your family and your husband might not be able to sleep if you're downstairs boozing it up

Agent ZigZag

Some people started to criticise the posts/posters who thought OP wasn't being U
I am not controlling or try to control anyone here, nor criticising their opinion, but I just find it ridiculous the way people are getting used to make fun of other here. I don't get it.

I am not over involved and tbh, I don't give a shit

And for the record, I will be alone for a whole week as dh will take dd away for her holidays and I have to work. His parents will be there too and I am sure he will drink from 1 pm and go out every night, but he will be at a safe place and will not be overloading me with childcare.

And I don't even know why I am here tbh. That is a great question. Should be in the sitting room having my wine and watching something, enjoying myself alone YES it is possible. Much better than some company over here.

I don't know if there are other issues in play here Op, but I can never understand any poster that says they can't sleep until their partner is home.
I really don't get that.

Worra, I find it equally disturbing that a woman who struggles to get into a deep sleep until her DH is home, has a ''mental illness'', an ''anxiety disorder'' and is ''controlling'.'

My DP gets called out at nights sometimes for work. I sometimes worry about him driving long distances late at night, and can't get back to a proper sleep until he is home. I'm surprised it is a concept that so many are struggling to understand or relate to.

DH is out tonight, I've had a lovely night with the DCs and a glass of wine. I have to be up at 3am to carry out DDs medical procedure as I said I would do it tonight as he'll have had a drink. We will both be tired tomorrow at family lunch but big deal, its one day and I certainly don't begrudge him a night out with his friends. We're married, we are not joined at the hip and neither of us are particularly needy.

Nanight then Boring!