To send this arsey email to DSs head teacher?

[Cookethenook]

Dear x,
I hope you're enjoying the start of the Easter Holidays and making the most of your well earned break!

I have a bit of a complaint I'm afraid, regarding a story that Ds was told in an assembly the other day. It involved a man taking his son to work with him and the child getting stuck in a piece of machinery that operated a bridge. This resulted in the man having to make the very difficult decision between saving his son and saving a train full of people. Ds then went on to describe the fact that God had thought that the man had done the right thing by saving the train instead of his son.

I have to say, myself and my other half were really shocked by this!

I feel it's a very very adult moral dilemma to be telling ks1 children about, let alone totally despicable that in the 21st century people still feel it appropriate to put 'the fear of God' into children. I understand that the story was trying to teach a lesson about the greater good, but I have no idea why it had to be set in such a horrific situation, nor why God had to enter into it at all- surely it is better to teach children to have strong morals because THEY think it's the right thing to do, not because of what a God tells them?

Im not usually one for belittling a child's emotional intelligence, but the love that a parent has for a child is something a young child couldn't possibly comprehend. I felt that the story was completely inappropriate for the age of the children in this respect and Ds seemed quite concerned that we wouldn't save him if we were in a similar situation.

One of the main reasons we chose to move Ds from his old school was because of the fact it was c of e and being humanists, we felt that the Church of England does not teach equality or inclusion (equal marriage rights and women's rights to name a few). Now, I realise that all schools have to include collective acts of worship into their curriculum and that we have the right to withdraw Ds from them if we wish but we have not done so previously as DS enjoys Christian worship and we didn't want him to feel singled out. It would be very disappointing if we did have to withdraw him, but I really don't feel comfortable with him feeling that bad things will happen if he doesn't follow God's word.

Kind regards
Cooke

I hope it's clear from the email what exactly happened. We were so shocked when DS told us in the car this morning. He really is quite fearless, but the story did seem to have confused and shocked him quite a bit. I'm not surprised tbh, if the story was a film, it would not be suitable for under 7's.

I don't feel we're overreacting about this (although I'm sure there will be those who disagree!), but is this ok to send? Anything that I should take out? I did end up having a bit if a rant, so it might not be totally coherent or relevant. I'm also not sure how to end it.

Argh, I'm so angry!

Having said that, OP, suggest you wait to the end of the holidays to reconsider exactly what you want to say in your message/in a meeting with the HT/vicar. If going for an e-mail/letter, suggest much shorter. Best not to send it off in the heat of the moment.

Lots of details for a 7 year old to recall. I remember DS coming home with a story about a horse in the field next to the school, which they watched eat a dead mouse, then the farmer came along with a gun, waved it about, and told the kids to sod off. After confronting the HT, it transpired the only true part was the horse in the field. I think if you send that email, during the holidays, the HT will put you in the bonkers pile for evermore.

Welove - that was the dogs name! You're right.

On both counts [busad]

i would just send an email asking if he can call you at his earliest convenience. things like this are often misunderstood in type. much better to have a two way conversation, in which both sides can be understood. fwiw my ds is in a religious school, and we are religious, and this is what we wanted but i have to admit i find it very intense sometimes. statements such as i want to go live with jesus etc alarm me. i think you are right to question whats happened.

I'd agree with the advice to put your mail to one side over the Easter holidays, and then send a more succinct version to the headteacher, outlining more clearly what you felt the problem was (inappropriate for KS1, as your DS recounted it to you) and what you'd like him to do about it (get the vicar to run things through with him first, or whatever).

I would also agree that sometimes children have very vivid imaginations about what happens at school, and get the wrong end of the stick.

As a Christian I am a bit about the story, as it's a very poor analogy for the Easter story. However if a child was worried I would just say it was a silly story. I wouldn't say anything to the head - but if it had happened to me I would probably know the vicar personally well enough to mention quietly that the story wasn't appropriate.

People are right that your email comes across as being all about your ego and self-righteousness.

Why is there so much pussy-footing around the fact some bloke turned up at the school and told young primary school children a highly inappropriate story?

The HT allowed this to happen. He should be told that this is not on.

This is a common thought-experiment in moral philosophy but I don't see why this particularly grisly version was considered suitable for such young children.

Oops, just RTFT and realised for the first time in my life that this could be an analogy for the Easter story - I am a HEATHEN!

Because of course a 7 year old's version of events, with the backing of busybody overconcerned MNers trumps the judgement of an experienced professional. The HT has no idea what's going on and should be cowered into changing things to appease someone's mum. Or else Ofstec and the rest. Proportion, peeps.

PMSL at " parable of the cantilever bridge"

I have a real fucking issue with 'that man' (as DS calls him) turning up at school at all. I live in a very small town with no synagogue and no mosque so DS is fed an unremitting diet of Christianity as far as I can tell.

I would also be very cross about this OP although I think the later reworking of your email was better. I think it's entirely inappropriate for children of primary school age

I remember that story to this day CSI and Welove, I got taught it at school and it still makes me [busad].
In my version it was an old Welsh story I think, I'm sure the man was a Llewellan (sp sorry Welsh people).

I'm really surprised at responses on here. I don't think the OPs post is overly arsey at all and I'd be completely livid if my son was told that.

It's an assembly which actually seems to undermine the parent and the love of the parent for their child - and nobody has the right to cause a child to doubt or question that. Also the inference is that the child was essentially sacrificed to save 'more' of Gods' people....why would anybody even consider telling small children that? That essentially one of them is not worth multiple others.

This has made me very sad, as has the fact that others seem to think its totally acceptable.

It's a commonly used Christian analogy - I've heard it a lot in my younger days. I completely agree with you - it's way way too much for KS1 though. I wouldn't expect it to be told to anyone under 16 (I used to be very religious and I now work in a secondary school, I should be sympathetic to the assembly).

Your email sounds a little unhinged though - sorry. Just call the Head up and say you felt it was a little too intense for a KS1 audience and explain how your DS read it. Or send a more succinct email.

some bloke turned up at the school and told young primary school children a highly inappropriate story?
'It is Easter! the vicar told the Easter story in a context the children could understand. The Easter story isn't supposed to be comfortable! Do you let your Dc stuff themselves silly with Easter eggs without even telling them the meaning of the Easter feast? That question applies equally to atheists
Have just told DD3 nearly 7 the bridge story and she was quite interested in the moral dilemma involved.

It's a way of explaining the Christian Easter story. It's Easter. In that context, YABU. Unless of course, you don't do anything to mark Easter, such as Easter eggs?

But he didn't tell the Easter story in a context the children could understand. The OP's child didn't understand the context and he's almost far from the only one. You might well discuss it with a 7 year old on a 1:1 basis but its a massively inappropriate story to tell a large group of 4-7 year olds whose circumstances you don't know. There are many more age appropriate ways of getting the message of the Easter story across to children of this age group.

So why not just tell the children the Easter story? As in "Easter is a very important festival for Christians- this is why"

Because that would be far too much like common sense, seeker. Tbh I wouldn't be at all surprised if the HT was already in agreement with the OP. Visiting speakers can be a law unto themselves (and not just the religious ones). It's possible the HT has already braced himself for a string of complaints and vowed never to invite that particular speaker in again.

Yes, a charming way to introduce 7 year olds to Christianity..
Let them leave the lesson wondering if their parents would put strangers before themselves.
If they are educated through Christmas, special child, God's chosen one, who died to save us all on the cross, then teach them that. (not me BTW but the Christian teachings.
Don't give them stupid allegories which they'll take literally.

I wouldn't send this email. They will laugh at you.

IT IS NOT A VERSION OF THE EASTER STORY!!

I went through many, many years of Catholic school/Church/Brownie Sunday School and never once had this story even as some sort of allegory!

This is NOTHING to do with the Crucifixion and Resurrection. It's not even bleedin' Abraham and Isaac!

As someone said a few pages back, it's one of those moral dilemma/philosophy problems.

And it's not suitable for 7 yr olds. I'd be steaming if this were related at DD's assembly and it's the sort of thing she'd worry about and dwell upon.

I'm also slightly at aftermay's scornful dismissal of the OP's child's version of events and the characterisation of those of us who don't think this is a suitable "story" to tell to primary age children as 'busybodies'. Nice.

The later reworking of the email was much more to the point and I'd send that if it were me, OP. YANBU to want to raise this.

Little children don't understand allegories. They just don't.

Why the bloody vicar couldn't have told them the Easter Story properly I don't know. You don't have to talk about writhing on crosses and nails through wrists etc.

Though I am 37 and still don't understand why Jesus being crucified "saves me" from anything