To send this arsey email to DSs head teacher?

[Cookethenook]

Dear x,
I hope you're enjoying the start of the Easter Holidays and making the most of your well earned break!

I have a bit of a complaint I'm afraid, regarding a story that Ds was told in an assembly the other day. It involved a man taking his son to work with him and the child getting stuck in a piece of machinery that operated a bridge. This resulted in the man having to make the very difficult decision between saving his son and saving a train full of people. Ds then went on to describe the fact that God had thought that the man had done the right thing by saving the train instead of his son.

I have to say, myself and my other half were really shocked by this!

I feel it's a very very adult moral dilemma to be telling ks1 children about, let alone totally despicable that in the 21st century people still feel it appropriate to put 'the fear of God' into children. I understand that the story was trying to teach a lesson about the greater good, but I have no idea why it had to be set in such a horrific situation, nor why God had to enter into it at all- surely it is better to teach children to have strong morals because THEY think it's the right thing to do, not because of what a God tells them?

Im not usually one for belittling a child's emotional intelligence, but the love that a parent has for a child is something a young child couldn't possibly comprehend. I felt that the story was completely inappropriate for the age of the children in this respect and Ds seemed quite concerned that we wouldn't save him if we were in a similar situation.

One of the main reasons we chose to move Ds from his old school was because of the fact it was c of e and being humanists, we felt that the Church of England does not teach equality or inclusion (equal marriage rights and women's rights to name a few). Now, I realise that all schools have to include collective acts of worship into their curriculum and that we have the right to withdraw Ds from them if we wish but we have not done so previously as DS enjoys Christian worship and we didn't want him to feel singled out. It would be very disappointing if we did have to withdraw him, but I really don't feel comfortable with him feeling that bad things will happen if he doesn't follow God's word.

Kind regards
Cooke

I hope it's clear from the email what exactly happened. We were so shocked when DS told us in the car this morning. He really is quite fearless, but the story did seem to have confused and shocked him quite a bit. I'm not surprised tbh, if the story was a film, it would not be suitable for under 7's.

I don't feel we're overreacting about this (although I'm sure there will be those who disagree!), but is this ok to send? Anything that I should take out? I did end up having a bit if a rant, so it might not be totally coherent or relevant. I'm also not sure how to end it.

Argh, I'm so angry!

Funnily enough RE is not compulsory at my dc school. History and Geog GCSE are.

Your email is over the top and could be laughed at. I think your over reacting it's a story explain it from your point of view and close the matter. If it continues to bother you go in and have an informal chat with head about your concern. Please don't send the email the whole thing lose credence with the way you have worded it, sorry.

And Don't say 'EASTER' in your opening sentence. Maybe 'spring break' or somesuch?

My husband,a devout Roman Catholic was absolutely appalled that children should be told such a story.He says that in simplest terms it is in no way a straightforward moral choice even as an abstract.
The immediate thing anyone would do is free the child[any child] that is human nature so it is a false premise anyway.
We think you should send the email.We have grandchildren aged 4,6,9,10,13.13 and 16 and would only feel comfortable with the three older ones being offered the story to discuss-with no outcome but not as a 'this was the right thing to do ' story.
Dh's final comment was,"bloody weird vicar!"

As a modern retelling of the crucifixion the story has flaws, as a morality tale it's terrible. My DS would be upset, I would complain.

I hadnt spotted that this was the Easter story. It came across as a moral dilemma which IMO is totally inappropriate for a KS1 assembly.

The HT is responsible for what goes on in his school. Allowing anyone to behave inappropriately (which includes telling inappropriate stories to small children) in assembly is a mistake by the HT.

I think that LoopaDaLoopa's suggested email was spot on:

Dear xxx

I'm afraid I have to register my concern regarding an issue that occurred (on date).

DS came home from school upset, and told us of the story told in assembly, which detailed a parent having to choose between his child's life and the lives of a number or train passengers.

I am deeply concerned that this is not a suitable topics for KS1 children. DS is not mature enough to process this type of moral dilemma, and is quite upset and confused. He is worried that we would not save him in a similar situation.

I am unable to see the educational value of this sort of teaching to such young children, and as such, I would like to request that we are warned in advance if similar sessions are to take place again, as we will withdraw DS from assembly.

Best wishes etc...

I think, welovegrapes, that the vicar was trying to get the message across that God sacrificed his son to a painful death to save everyone else. Missed out the part where his son was raised from the dead three days later mind you...

I am usually very much of the 'chill out' persuasion, but as a teacher and a sort of catholic, I think that story is totally inappropriate. Why the need for such an analogy to the Easter story (although it is not even a very clear analogy, so god knows what a ks1 child would make of it).

I had a catholic primary education (which wasnt all fire and brimstone despite what some on here think ) and was taken to mass every Sunday etc. At no point was I ever told a story like this. We were just told that Jesus died for us, he rose again and that was it really. Something like the Easter story is just too abstract to even begin to relate to a real life story for a child. And there is no need - Jesus was 'special' anyway, so the same situation just is not going to occur for your every day bridge maintenance man.

And yes, I can imagine that some children would then question if their own parent would let them die if such a situation were to occur. If I was sat in a school assembly (Catholic or not) and this story was told I would be .

However, I do think that your email is a bit too waffley and off the point, and also if you send it now then it is One More Thing that the head will know he has to deal with after Easter. I would just ring and make an appointment to see the head after the holidays and just tell him that you thought it was an inapporpriate story to tell to a bunch of under 7s.

Bruthas - As far as we have heard he missed the final part about rising from the dead. We have a 7 year olds version....

Well that's also true but I'm not sure how in the train version the child could be resurrected. Still worth querying I think.

it's a classic moral dilemma- DS (yr 3) discussed it at school but the premise was different.

he was asked - train is approaching a set of points - on the train's current route there are 3 people tied to the track - if you switch the points there is 1 person tied to the other track. Do you act or do nothing? is it 'better' that 1 person is killed than 3 people?

He and his class did not find that too traumatic to discuss.

but if the story had involved the parents refusing to save their child I think he and probably the whole class would have been overwhelmed and confused, and I know that DS would have become very, very anxious.

OK, I get the idea that the vicar was retelling the Easter story of God sacrificing his only son to save us all.
But there is a crucial part of the story missing from the OP has said, and it is the really, really important part of the story (if that is what you believe). It is the fact that Jesus was resurrected and went to sit with his father in heaven. It is the resurrection which brings joy and hope, without the resurrection it is just a sad and disturbing story which is not appropriate for KS1 children.

Pip - we do not know if the vicar missed the end of the story. We are going by what a 7 year old has told his parents? I doubt the vicar would have finished it at the dead boy point tbh

Going a bit off track here, I only know the Scottish Educational system, and understand the child is 7.
But what is KS1?

If the child did make a miraculous recovery then that changes the story. However I'm genuinely not sure why the vicar couldn't just have told the Easter story as it is, modern retelling is not necessary to convey the meaning of the story.

kS ! is up to end of year 2 (7years old) if I remember correctly?

Maybe the vicar didn't miss that bit of the story - but maybe he failed to fully communicate what on earth he was banging on about to a group of confused primary school children. Which might be why the 7yo missed the punchline.

KS1 not !

KS1 - Key stage one. In Northern Ireland that's Primary 1 to Primary 4, so age 4/5 to age 7/8

I think you should complain in person to the headteacher after the holidays fwiw. You can talk to DS about it, might trigger useful discussions - there will be other clashes over time with the school and you want to make sure you don't come across as someone that tends to get ignored due to over-reacting. Even sending a letter rather than having a quiet word could be misinterpreted.

I would be very angry too. This could be extremely upsetting to some children, without being of value to any.

They are too young to take on the supposed point of this story (collective good versus the individual), and the example of choosing random other people's lives over the life of one's own child would be particularly distressing to a child.

The argument made by several people here, that it doesn't matter because their child wouldn't have paid attention/understood, is spurious. Many children, such as the OP's, would pay attention and understand. If the children aren't expected to understand it, there's no point telling the stupid story in the first place.

Also agree with the poster who pointed out that the moral dilemma is essentially an adult one, not a child's. From a child's point of view, of course the parent should save their child. If you can't rely on your parents, who can you rely on?

And I also personally think God and religion should stay out of our schools. Morals should be there, but it is possible to discuss morals and appropriate behaviour without bringing God into it.

My LO had a parents morning at preschool and they were god the story of a man, a beloved son and beloved dog. Dog protected son from pack of wolves but covered the bedroom with blood, so dad killed the beloved dog in rage on nis return. Then discovered his son was fine.

LO was not impressed. Threatened to call the police and RSPCA