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AIBU?

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Original poster

Running a hot bath. Why take the risk?

122 replies

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 12:58

Right. I am at my wits end. My partner always runs his bath with just the hot tap, then adds the cold at the last minute. We have a one year old and a three year old in the house. He says he keeps an eye on them but both children can open the bathroom door, and I think it is a risk just not worth taking. I have tried asking nicely, I have tried demanding, yesterday I was nearly in tears, but he refuses to be 'dictated to' over this. What am I to do?

OP posts:
Iggly · 27/03/2013 12:59

Can't he have a bath when the kids are asleep?

I'd not be happy tbh. Ask him what would happen if the kids got burnt.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 27/03/2013 13:00

Why doesn't he just stay in the bathroom then whilst the bath is running.

As long as he does that or the kids are not unattended whilst the bath is running then there is no problem??

Nancy66 · 27/03/2013 13:02

if he's confident the children are looked after then I wouldnt worry.

Otherwise you could apply that logic to everything:

ironing
cooking
boiling a kettle

etc..

HorryIsUpduffed · 27/03/2013 13:03

We have a little bolt on the outside of our bathroom door to prevent the smaller DS from going in and flooding the house or drowning himself. Cost a couple of quid from B&Q but has paid for itself a zillion times over.

I think you need some images or stories of brutal scalds (there are some where it killed the child) to hammer home how dangerous an unattended hot bath is for a toddler, then offer him options (stay in bathroom every time, fit bolt/lock, wait until night time, etc). That way you aren't attacking the bath itself, just the safety aspect.

KobayashiMaru · 27/03/2013 13:03

keep the kids away from the bath, it's not difficult. How else is he supposed to run a bath anyway?

MurderOfGoths · 27/03/2013 13:03

I run a bath like that, doesn't stay warm enough any other way. As long as he's keeping an eye on them while it's running then it should be fine.

BaronessBomburst · 27/03/2013 13:05

Stairgate on the bathroom door? I presume you are worried about the children trying to climb in the bath, especially the one year old?

Or can you turn your boiler down to an economy setting so that the water is not hot enough to cause serious scalding?

Or maybe ask the HV to speak to him?

Original poster
Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 13:05

I am not at all confident that the children are being looked after, and sometimes the bath is unattended for half an hour or more.

OP posts:
DIYapprentice · 27/03/2013 13:06

Get dictatorial? Get nasty? Pull the plug out every time he does it? Add dishwashing liquid to the bath water when he does it?

I agree with you - I don't think it's a risk worth taking when it's so easy to run both taps at the same time.

Does he even realise the children can get burnt with water that isn't hot enough to burn him?????!!!!!

Original poster
Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 13:07

The three year old is very adept at opening stair gates, and the one year old often stands on the toilet step and tries to get toys out of the bath. I am really worried.

OP posts:
GreatBags · 27/03/2013 13:08

Would he read this:

www.prideofbritain.com/contentpages/winners/2009/toni-and-kelsey-deacon.aspx

I don't wish to frighten you, but totally agree with you that it is not worth taking the risk.

MortifiedAdams · 27/03/2013 13:08

Why would he go.in the bath unless you were there with kids? So of the bath is running, arent you around?

redskyatnight · 27/03/2013 13:08

well if the bath is unattended, there is the risk of drowning regardless of water temperature. If the bath/children are properly watched there is no risk of either.

pompompom · 27/03/2013 13:08

Can you turn down the temperature on the boiler? Ours was at 60C, but we've turned it down to just under 50C. Not an ideal solution though.

It's not just the temperature. If you have a 1 and 3yo and they're able to get into the bathroom while the bath is full, and are not being supervised properly then obviously drowning is a risk as well.

Agree with whoever said to put a catch or lock on the outside of the door.

And bitch slap your husband Grin

squeakytoy · 27/03/2013 13:09

tell him to have a bath when the kids are in bed

neunundneunzigluftballons · 27/03/2013 13:09

I would say he is being unreasonable why is he so insistent though? Is it because he forgets? that I would understand. Why would he put his foot down on an issue like this it seems a bit weird?

Personally to fill up a bath I put both taps on and fill up with the hot water after, although I think cold water first then hot is probably safest way to go.

DIYapprentice · 27/03/2013 13:10

Pull the plug out every time you see him do it (am assuming it is one on a chain)

I'm too worried to even leave nice temperature water in the bath in case they fall in and drown, myself. If they're awake, he shouldn't be leaving the bathroom AT ALL when he is pouring a bath, or he should make sure the bathroom door is locked and unable to be opened by the DC (such as the little lock someone else mentioned).

pompompom · 27/03/2013 13:11

not boiler sorry, hot water tank.

ENormaSnob · 27/03/2013 13:12

Yanbu at all.

I always put the cold in first. Ds2(3) is never unattended but it's just not worth the risk.

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes · 27/03/2013 13:12

That would freak me out too. We have thermostatic mixing valves fitted on our bath taps so the water won't go above 40.
Could you show him some info online? The big campaign was "hot water burns like fire" I think?

TolliverGroat · 27/03/2013 13:15

When DS a baby our HVs advised turning down the hot water temperature to below scalding temperature, and we've had it there ever since. But if he's leaving the bath unattended then that's a drowning risk rather than just a scalding risk.

BonzoDooDah · 27/03/2013 13:16

Good grief. I'd be ranting and raving. JUST NOT worth the risk as you say.
Some serious pics and stories from the internet and a rant that this is non-negotiable.

Iggly · 27/03/2013 13:16

Whoever mentioned ironing and cooking - you don't leave an iron unattended (do you?!). Cooking - make sure it's at the back of the hob and keep an eye on the kids (I have a 1 and 3 year old)

QueenBee245 · 27/03/2013 13:22

Do you have a lock on your bathroom door? And if so is it the type you can open with a coin from the outside? Not ideal but it'll stop the little ones getting in there