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AIBU?

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Original poster

Running a hot bath. Why take the risk?

122 replies

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 12:58

Right. I am at my wits end. My partner always runs his bath with just the hot tap, then adds the cold at the last minute. We have a one year old and a three year old in the house. He says he keeps an eye on them but both children can open the bathroom door, and I think it is a risk just not worth taking. I have tried asking nicely, I have tried demanding, yesterday I was nearly in tears, but he refuses to be 'dictated to' over this. What am I to do?

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 27/03/2013 17:26

I'm sorry to get irritable, OP but can you not see that the issue is not just about the temperature of the water? There is a very real risk that your children will drown if your dp insists on running baths and leaving your children unattended to fall into them.

You can, incidentally, adjust the thermometer on your hot water quite easily though. But you need to tackle the dangerously neglectful behaviour of your dp at the same time.

CinnabarRed · 27/03/2013 17:40

OP, why are you ignoring the many, many posts explaining that drowning is just as much of a risk?

RubyGates · 27/03/2013 17:42

Why not stick a bolt on the outside of the door at the top?
Then they can't get in, and your OH will get a bath that's the right temperature.
Seriously. £2.00 max.
£1.00 from the pound store.

Simples.

CheeseStrawWars · 27/03/2013 17:46

"I have tried asking nicely, I have tried demanding, yesterday I was nearly in tears, but he refuses to be 'dictated to' over this...

He basically does what he wants, when he wants, and will only compromise on the rare occasion when he is in a good mood (I think he may be bi-polar although this has not been diagnosed)

I have tried putting the cold tap on but he gets very very angry

His calculation of risk is different to mine"

One of the symptoms of bipolar is risky behaviour.

OP, you need to get proper help with this. Perhaps on the Relationships board.

Lovecat · 27/03/2013 17:50

Haven't RTFT so apols if it's moved on, but my friend's little girl was scalded very badly by just this occurrence when she was 3. It sparked an SS investigation and left the little girl in screaming terror of having a bath :(

Why does he feel that he's being 'dictated to'? Is his habit more important than his child's safety fgs??

KansasCityOctopus · 27/03/2013 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeeCoakley · 27/03/2013 17:56

I would say a high bolt is the answer for a caring parent but the op's husband would probably not bother to use it.

CheerfulYank · 27/03/2013 17:56

Where are you when he's doing this?

Original poster
Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 18:30

I am keeping an eye on them, obviously, but sometimes he doesn't tell me he has put the bath on, so I don't even know of that extra risk.

OP posts:
KansasCityOctopus · 27/03/2013 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dencar · 27/03/2013 18:43

Really, just get a slide lock for the door to put on the outside.
Position it at the height that only adults can reach. Toddler on a step or chair can't then reach it.
Lock it when the bath is running or is full - no problem then.

Original poster
Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 18:44

Kansas City Octopus. I agree with you. I only wish I knew how to have such obedient children.

OP posts:
pompompom · 27/03/2013 18:48

If you have a hot water tank go and look at the front of it. There should be a dial with 50 - 60 etc on it. Turn down to just above 50.

pompompom · 27/03/2013 18:52

Or just empty the bath whenever you see it full and unattended. I bloody would, bit then I wouldn't have to because DP isn't a selfish thoughtless arse.

KansasCityOctopus · 27/03/2013 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheerfulYank · 27/03/2013 19:11

I'd put a lock on the door and lock it myself.

Tell him he HAS to use the lock or at least tell you that he is running a bath.

thebody · 27/03/2013 19:16

Yep lock in the door, we had one when kids were littke and also for the kitchen. Very cheap and very effective.

About your dh, he does sound childish op, I would struggle to actually love or respect such an entitled daft man child.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 27/03/2013 19:40

He sounds like an utter child - you talk about him that way - can't be trusted

CinnabarRed · 27/03/2013 19:46

OP, why are you ignoring the many, many posts explaining that drowning is just as much of a risk?

GeoffVader · 27/03/2013 20:13

Cinnarbar, shush.

CinnabarRed · 27/03/2013 20:19

A scalding child will scream - you'll be alerted something is wrong. A drowning is silent.

CinnabarRed · 27/03/2013 20:20

I knew a 3 year old who drowned.

Bearfrills · 27/03/2013 20:46

I'm with Cinnabar on this, why the shushing? Drowning is silent, it happens much faster than you would think, and CPR is not a failsafe process guaranteed to work.

As my DM always tells me in relation to child safety: "it only takes a minute".

Bearfrills · 27/03/2013 20:47

You wouldn't let a 3yo and a 1yo go into a garden with an unfenced pond without supervision, would you?

GeoffVader · 27/03/2013 21:10

It wasn't the message it was the repetitiveness that pissed me off, I am sure OP can read no need to keep drilling her!