Running a hot bath. Why take the risk?

[Skiptomylou18]

Right. I am at my wits end. My partner always runs his bath with just the hot tap, then adds the cold at the last minute. We have a one year old and a three year old in the house. He says he keeps an eye on them but both children can open the bathroom door, and I think it is a risk just not worth taking. I have tried asking nicely, I have tried demanding, yesterday I was nearly in tears, but he refuses to be 'dictated to' over this. What am I to do?

Change your water thermostat to a non scalding hot temperature, but high enough to kill bacteria in the pipes, say 55 degrees.

This will also save you lots of money.

There's no reason to pay fuel to heat water hotter than you will want to use it.

Can you turn the temperature down? I agree - why take the risk? As you say, anything could happen to distract, though it shouldn't. My paediatric nurse first aid teacher recounted a terrible story of a scalded child. Even the hot tap (after it's been run) is a hazard.

He sounds ridiculous tbf.

My 3 year old goes to the toilet on his own (he is 4 next month). He does this at nursery and I think he is old enough to be allowed to do this at home. My 1 year old follows him in and wants to sit on the toilet too (and I am trying to encourage this, albeit with an adult present). They know the bathroom is not a place to play but the 18 month old is quite a handful right now.

Put a lock on the door.

Yes to putting a lock on the door.

Can you watch the kids if he's running a bath?

You shouldn't have to do either, he should compromise but doesn't sound as though he intends on stopping being a selfish twit so you'll have to try plan B or C.

He doesn't come out of this well. Your children need access to the bathroom for toileting, so he needs to closely supervise either the children or the bath.

As for running it scalding so he can finish watching the tv, and who gives a shit if a child is injured or killed in the meantime, words fail me.

Does he do this when you are out? Turn the tap off. Tell him you assumed he had forgotten because he wasn't there getting undressed.

And yy to turning down the thermostat on the boiler. That should have been done three years ago as a matter of course.

At 4mo DS1 got a nasty burn on a tap at my grandpa's house. Thank goodness I was holding him at the time. We had a low thermostat and mixer taps at home, so it simply hadn't occurred to me that taps could be an issue.

Very strange. The solution is obvious. He wants a bath, he goes to the bathroom, he locks the door to keep the kids out and then he can run his bath however the heck he likes while you look after the children. Having a whole bathful of water accessible to children is ridiculous, and even more so if the water is hot.
Why does he need to have baths in the daytime anyway? Can't he wait till they are asleep? If he wants to watch tv then he should wait until his programme is over and then run his bath. It isn't rocket science.

I'm confused, what other way is there to run a bath apart the way op's dh does??

I run it with the hot and the cold on together. I know that it runs the perfect warm bath like that.

Hot and cold taps both running together, so it's never boiling hot. Takes a lot of careful judgement if you like the bath hot, but is the obvious way to do a toddler's bath.

Both taps running at the same time. I do my baby's bath that way. When I run my own bath I put lots of hot in first and then add cold. I like my bath to be as warm as possible for as long as possible. But then I am not leaving a steaming hot bath with the door open so children can jump in it.

There is just as much risk (well not of scalding but of drowning) with an unattended bath anyway - so the children need to be kept out of the bathroom anyway if a bath is being run unattended.

Turn your water down. That's not the only tap in the house. The water shouldn't be running too hot to be safe to touch.

'Lose' the plug when he's going to be home alone with the kids. A good hard yank on the chain should detach it and then you'll have no worries about him taking a hot bath and not watching them properly while he does. I know it's a bit PA but he's being a complete arse (sorry).

I always run my baths with hot and cold together up to about wrist depth then just hot to around elbow depth, it gives a hot bath but not scalding hot.

I scalded my arm when I was three, my mum was running a hot bath with just the hot tap. Very small children tend to freeze when in contact with heat sources which often contributes to them having more serious injuries than an adult in the same situation - if you grasped hot hair straighteners you'd drop them, a young child will often grip tighter instead. It's what I did, I froze with my arm in the hot water and screamed and screamed and screamed. My mum told me that she was sick afterwards at the memory of the sound I was making and she never ran the bath that way again. I got off lucky, it healed well with no lasting damage - not even a scar - although I can remember the huge fluid filled blisters all over my forearm as it healed and crying a lot.

I'm sorry if this seems rude but is your OH generally a dickhead or has he got some redeeming features?

I agree that there is the risk of drowning whether or not the bathwater is hot or cold. He must go in the bathroom when he has a bath and not move from the bathroom until the water has drained. He is being selfish and irresponsible and needs a reality check.

Well, they are very spirited children and they are all over the place

They would be at their age. I'd be just as worried about drowning as I would about the heat of the water. What your husband is doing is putting your children at serious risk and you can't allow him to carry on doing it. If he isn't prepared to accept he is being neglectful then you don't leave the children in his care.

why doesn't he just do what normal people do and run the bath with the door locked?

Is he refusing to lock the door when the bath is unattended or are you not confident that he will lock the door every time?

I am not confident he would lock the door. I think I need to get a plumber in to add a thermostat or something that even dh can not mess with.

I nearly started a thread warning about toddlers and running baths recently.

Okay...I was running DS's bath, and he was upstairs with me. I was at the door of the bathroom when he dropped a toy into the bath, then leant over to reach it. He tipped into the bath, but saved himself using his hands. I scooped him out as fast as I could, then ran cold water over his hands and wrists, then we played with his Octonaut toys in the sink filled with cold water for ages.

DS was fine, but it gave me a huge fright - I'd have said that I'm very careful about safety, not leaving DS unattended etc, but it literally took 2 seconds to happen. If I hadn't been right there, I dread to think what might have happened.

We now run hot + cold taps together, and have turned the water tank down by 5C. I'm also going to look into getting child taps.

I put a bolt high up on the outside of the bathroom door to stop dcs getting in when the bath was running. A stairgate would do the same job I suppose.