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AIBU?

Running a hot bath. Why take the risk?

122 replies

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 12:58

Right. I am at my wits end. My partner always runs his bath with just the hot tap, then adds the cold at the last minute. We have a one year old and a three year old in the house. He says he keeps an eye on them but both children can open the bathroom door, and I think it is a risk just not worth taking. I have tried asking nicely, I have tried demanding, yesterday I was nearly in tears, but he refuses to be 'dictated to' over this. What am I to do?

OP posts:

Report

CheeseStrawWars · 27/03/2013 13:24

Maybe show him this

Time for a serious scald to happen to a child:
Hot water from a tap 60°C 1 second
Hot water from a kettle, 5-10 minutes after boiling 55°C 10 seconds
Hot water from a tap with a temperature regulator 50°C 5 minutes

Scalds... are a common cause of injury to young children, especially children between 12 and 24 months old. They happen easily and can cause serious problems for a long time if they are bad scalds.

Why young children are at more risk
They like to climb and are naturally curious.
They can move very fast.
They don't understand danger.
They have thinner skin than adults, so their skin burns more deeply in less time.

There's plenty of pictures of children scarred from scalds. Why take the risk?

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 13:25

I totally agree there is a serious drowning issue too, but often, supervising the kids involves following them around the flat at speed. They are very quick, and there are two of them.
It would only take 2 seconds for one to get seriously burnt.

OP posts:

MyOtherNameIsFunnier · 27/03/2013 13:26

Is he in the bathroom while he runs thebath?

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 13:27

Or as you say CheeseStrawWars, 1 second!

OP posts:

MotherOfNations · 27/03/2013 13:31

Toni Deacon, the little girl in the link is in my dd's class at school. I really don't understand why anyone would run a bath like that. Surely it's actually easier to run both taps together.
I would turn the thermostat down.

LondonNinja · 27/03/2013 13:32

Why are the children left unattended for half an hour?!

GladbagsGold · 27/03/2013 13:33

To OP's partner: Please stop doing this. When my nanna was young, her 2 year old sister fell into a hot bath, and died from the scalds.

DontSayWhatSayPardon · 27/03/2013 13:34

Haven't read this whole thread but just thought I should let you know that my mil was an a&e nurse and saw a baby/small child die from falling into a hot bath while its mother answered the doorbell. Horrible story and obviously the chances are slim that it would happen, but like you say, why take the risk?

LondonNinja · 27/03/2013 13:35

OP, your comment at 13.05 is worrying tbf.

VanitasVanitatum · 27/03/2013 13:35

Whether or not you're being reasonable, he is being very odd to say he 'won't be dictated to' over such a simple thing, seems like a totally unnecessary reaction when the solution is so simple and won't change his enjoyment of his bath one iota. Is he normally so disagreeable?

ceeveebee · 27/03/2013 13:38

I just can't imagine taking a bath when a 1 and 3 year old are running around the house unattended - can't he just wait until they are asleep or someone else is there to watch them?

ToThreeOrNotToThree · 27/03/2013 13:39

I do agree with him about how to run the bath - until we moved to our new house (which has a huge hot water tank and an enamel bath) the only way I could get the bath hot enough was to run it hot and add cold to temperature.

But that would be when the kids were in bed.

Either he needs to start doing it a safer way when they are around. Or you need a safety solution - like a high bolt on the outside of the door.

BTW- why is he leaving his bath for up to half an hour before getting in? Surely it gets cold?

Callisto · 27/03/2013 13:42

Just turn the thermostat down on the hot water heater. Isn't that what everyone does when they have a child?

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 13:48

He basically does what he wants, when he wants, and will only compromise on the rare occasion when he is in a good mood (I think he may be bi-polar although this has not been diagnosed). I have tried putting the cold tap on but he gets very very angry.

OP posts:

ToThreeOrNotToThree · 27/03/2013 13:50

Loula - He honestly sounds like he has anger management issues. Are you happy in your relationship other than this, because he sounds rather controlling and, frankly, not that nice to you. Sorry if that's a bit blunt.

LondonNinja · 27/03/2013 13:57

Hmm. Red flags waving.

Your kids are at risk and he's being stubborn, but at what potential price? I'd be fuming.

What did you mean by your comment about not being convinced they're being looked after properly by him, OP?

AuntieStella · 27/03/2013 14:06

Well, the immediate safety issue is fairly easi dealt with (high bolt, and remember to use it).

I'm more concerned about the selfishness of his attitude because of how it has been displayed in such a self-entitled comment, when it is so obviously a safety issue not a preference one.

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 14:06

Well, they are very spirited children and they are all over the place. His calculation of risk is different to mine but as he doesn't have them constantly in sight I would say that he isn't watching them sufficiently to argue that the bath is safe.

OP posts:

eatyourveg · 27/03/2013 14:20

Stair gate on the bathroom door asap.

ds2 MLD/ASD 17 nxt month has only just in the past few months been allowed to learned how to draw the bath. Strict instructions to have the taps at quarter to 5 and not to get in until an adult or older db has checked it. You need to have serious words with your dh

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/03/2013 14:32

I thought stair gates weren't safe for three year olds as they can climb and hurt themselves. Bolt or hook and eye at the top of the door.

KansasCityOctopus · 27/03/2013 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MurderOfGoths · 27/03/2013 14:44

"BTW- why is he leaving his bath for up to half an hour before getting in? Surely it gets cold?"

That's what I'm wondering. It'd negate the point of running it hot wouldn't it?

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Itchywoolyjumper · 27/03/2013 14:55

There was a really heartbreaking thread in relationships a wee while ago which was a bit like this. The OP's DH had a habit of putting petrol and things into general bottles instead of keeping them in the original safer container. The consequence of this was that while setting up for a barbeque the OP's little 2 year old DD was horrifically burned. I think it was called something like "This is my story, read it and weep". It might be worth getting him to read it. I'll see if I can link to it.

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 14:55

I understand the comments re supervision, but however well supervised the kids might be, why introduce this hazard? As noted in one of the previous messages, it might only take the door bell ringing, or some other distraction, to lead to tragedy. No-one is perfect.

OP posts:

Skiptomylou18 · 27/03/2013 14:58

He often runs a bath then decides to finish watching a TV programme. It is usually still warm at this point.

OP posts:

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