To be frustrated and angry that women are still expected to be the "emotion keepers" in families.

[seeker]

And if we don't stop doing it, our daughters will still be thinking they are responsible for "keeping men sweet" in 30 years time?

[Machli]

In my house it was everyone keep Mum happy because she had a terrifying temper and was physically abusive.

In ex in-laws house it was everyone keep Dad happy because he had a terrifying temper and was emotionally and mentally abusive.

So ime it's the one who throws the biggest tantrums that gets pandered to, male or female.

Though from reading threads on here I do think it is expected more from women and that was certainly my experience when married to ex and within his extended family.

[exoticfruits]

I don't think that it is anything to do with 'vipers'-it was just posted on AIBU where you get a complete cross section of women. You could easily have a cosy little discussion on feminist chat-many women stay off it altogether because you are only allowed one view.

[PeachActiviaMinge]

SGB In my opinion men and women are equal neither is above the other but it seems so many feminists believe that they are above men that's not fighting for equality and is just as bad as the "male privilege" you're talking about. Women are abused by men not all women not even the majority and women themselves can be abusers we need to remember that.

No one is arguing that any person being abused by their partner is in the wrong just that not everyone is abused in fact its nowhere near the majority being abused. Its OK too for a woman to be happy with her partner and she should not be made to feel guilty about it.

I am not superior to my husband he is not superior to me I would not expect him to abuse me nor would I abuse him. We are equal and that's how it should be. On the other hand my DH is emotionally abused by my MIL as are my FIL and SIL and they always have been but it gets shrugged off. Why? because in everyone elses eyes they're men and shes a woman so its not abuse and they should just put up with it.

[exoticfruits]

So ime it's the one who throws the biggest tantrums that gets pandered to, male or female

Very true.

[exoticfruits]

Or maybe the biggest sulker.

[seeker]

"it seems so many feminists believe that they are above men"

Examples please!

[countrykitten]

SGB I think that you must read a different MN to me as I have never seen advice like that dished out on here. I also have NEVER heard women speak to other women in the way you describe in RL - we must have very different life experiences. Particularly enjoy the way you belittle a man in an office job saying he is 'pulling his plonker all day'. WTAF?

I do not think that women in happy, equal relationships seek to pretend that dreadful abusive relationships exist but I think that making silly sweeping generalisations are not a good way to make a point. All women are not the same and neither are all men.

I do not appreciate being called a viper by whichever poster that was - make a point if you have one rather than pathetic name calling.

[exoticfruits]

I am still waiting for the link to a relationship thread where MNetters tell the OP to appease the abusive man.

[SigmundFraude]

'but single women are happier than either married women or single men.'

Well you say that, and I'm sure there are, but for every happy single women there's an unhappy one who wants a partner.

[seeker]

Sorry, exotic-I'm not linking to another thread on a thread that's being "watched!". It wasn't a relationships thread that prompted this one, anyway.

[PeachActiviaMinge]

Seeker I will if you'll post the examples you've been asked to give several times about MNetters telling abusive women to appease their abuser.

[exoticfruits]

OK -but I really don't think that I have ever heard that advice except from hearsay from 1950's women's magazines. Certainly not on MN-where 'leave the bastard' has become a joke because it is the normal advice.

[scottishmummy]

Oh yawn at the clichetastic quips.men in office pull their plonkers all day?
And women are working doing all emotional work and put upon too
Maybe your man pulls his plonker all day?maybe you're emotion keeper? No reality to my life or that if my friends

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Yes Northern, the one where he suffered Psychological abuse through out the relationship and she had been sending him abusive text messages through out the day.

[seeker]

Oh scottishmummy- that post doesn't even make sense.
Peach- as I've said, a) I'm not linking to a thread, and b) it wasn't a relationships thread that promted this one. You said "many feminists believe that they are above men" which is a statement that needs evidence.

[PeachActiviaMinge]

Peach- as I've said, a) I'm not linking to a thread, and b) it wasn't a relationships thread that promted this one. You said "many feminists believe that they are above men" which is a statement that needs evidence.

"but it seems so many feminists believe that they are above men"

Why do I need to give evidence of how I interpret peoples actions but you don't need to? What difference does it make that it wasn't a relationships thread that prompted this one? Why does your statement not need evidence but mine does?

[scottishmummy]

Emotion keepers what navel gazing socialsciencetastic book did that originate from?
I keep no man sweet,if you think that fate awaits your daughter that's v fatalistic
So do you keep men sweet?don't include me in your presumed servility

[NorthernLurker]

Abusive text messages, yes that's right. Good job he strangled her eh? Who knows what she would have resorted to next!

[PeachActiviaMinge]

?I feel that ?man-hating? is an honourable and viable political act, that the oppressed have a right to class-hatred against the class that is oppressing them.? ? Robin Morgan, Ms. Magazine Editor

?To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he?s a machine, a walking dildo.? -? Valerie Solanas

?I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig.? ? Andrea Dworkin

?All men are rapists and that?s all they are? ? Marilyn French

5 minutes on google found me those quotes all from self proclaimed feminists.

[thezebrawearspurple]

The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine. ? Abraham Lincoln

[scottishmummy]

To be fair peach,those quotes bear no relation to feminism.they're ill tempered rants
Certainly a minority may feel that,but not the majority I suspect
All isms have range of opinion,and that's a good thing to encourage vociferous debate

[SigmundFraude]

'The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine. ? Abraham Lincoln'

You could read the comments on feminist websites. I'm guessing those quotes are genuine..the ones about eugenics (men must be genetically modified, apparently) and handing baby boys over to the authorities so women don't have to raise them (although there was a debate about whether those boys would STILL be raised by women, even if not their mothers, and how that was not on...as women should not have to raise their oppressors).

[PeachActiviaMinge]

Oh I know that Scottish its lazy of me to just swipe those quotes but to be fair at 9 months pregnant with an ill child I'm not going to put in the effort of finding proper examples when OP can't even be bothered to prove her own point and I'm rather enjoying the argument/debate

[TheFallenMadonna]

It's a bit of a rarefied sample there though. Not "so many feminists".

Unless you are buying into the whole hairy legged lesbian hoohah. Surely not?