To let DS feed himself from the highchair tray?

[mistressploppy]

Long, sorry...

Birthday lunch for a family friend at a country pub. 8 adults, DS1 (3yo) and DS2 (13mo)

We eat out a lot with the DC so they behave pretty well; no shouting, chucking food etc. DS1 eats like a mini-adult, uses cutlery, no probs. DS2 feeds himself nicely and has done for months (BLW) but as his pasta has arrived as an enormous adult-sized portion on a plate, I pick up a dollop or two and put them on the tray of his highchair. He scoffs away. The babywipes are poised next to him.

Waiter(asst.manager/supervisor?) hovers; 'is there something wrong with the plate?'
Me; 'sorry?'
Waiter; 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PLATE?' (crossly, with sarcasm)
Me; um, oh, sorry...it was a bit hot...he tends to push the plate around...might get broken...I WILL clean the tray myself and wipe up any mess when he's finished...
Waiter;'oh, it's just I couldn't believe it when I saw you just dumping it on the tray like that'
Me;
DH; Er, hang on a minute mate, that's how he eats? No harm done! Do you have children?!'
Waiter; 'no, but I was one once, and my mother would never have just put food in front of me like that...she'd have fed me properly'

At this point my bottom lip went and DH asked him if he'd meant to be so rude(!). He then said; 'well, half of your party were 30mins late for the booking, and then she (gestures) dumps food straight on the table....'

I got a bit upset. Soothing noises ensued from all our party. After about 20mins he returns

Waiter; 'um, right, about earlier; I'm sorry you were upset but... '
Me; (cutting in) 'are you apologising?'
Waiter; 'no, thank you for cleaning up, but I stand by what I sai..'
Me; (nicely) 'I don't want to hear it, thanks!'
Waiter; (loudly, while walking off with his hands raised in despair) 'Ok, fine, you just carry on doing that in every restaurant you go to and see what happens...'

and

WIBU?

So...what you saw 10 years ago. The one incident. That's what you've decided BLW is?

Are we still discussing blw? or eating off a highchair tray? Still need to sort my DH out!

Well.they were wrong for leaving a baby whilst eating, you should always supervise them.
Op wasnt leaving her child and most parents dont leave their nabies unsupervised. We all sit together at the table for meals but they fed themselves from weaning age with the occassional with spoonful fed to them. Why feed a 13mth old that is perfectly capable of feeding themselves?

I also don't understand why it's lazy to BLW everlong. IME it's far more work to BLW than spoon feed. If one method was to be lazier than the other I would say it was spoon feeding.

everybody have one! (hic) good thread though!

YANBU at all. I let my two year old daughter eat from the highchair tray all the time. What a tosser. I can not believe that he kept going on about it too. I would complain to the management.

Its better for the baby to learn to feed itself. Even a 6mth old can feed itself and they are in control.of how much they eat. That is a good thing. Feeding them.is fine if you want to/baby will let you. But they are capable of feeding themsrlves and by 13mths they dont need feeding.

Cheers everlong

My.youngest is 26mths and can feed herself. My other four also feed themselves ansld did from 6mths.
No one is forcing you to do blw and you are past that stage so why does it bothet you how others feed their babies?

How strange is this thread! The OP hasnt come back and nobody is talking about eating off the highchair tray anymore!

The letters BLW have a funny effect on some people.

Besides its not a proper AIBU if people don't go spectacularly off the point

Ha Ha HotCross!!!! You are so right! This thread had driven me to drink!!!

well there you go everlong spectacularly misunderstanding the process of blw - with blw, you start off with soft to chew, large finger foods and carry on. you can give bowls of stuff with spoons (usually preloaded until they get the hang of it) later.
but no responsible parent would ever leave their child to get on with it without supervision because there's still a choking risk.

YANBU! Please tell me you're going to officially complain! Not in any way his job to tell you how to PARENT your child. My 13mo eats off a high chair tray out in public all the time, I clean it before and after, as did you, none of his business and outrageously rude of him.

Unique, I think im the only one left on this thread now (hic) and I have nothing of any consequence to say! Op s buggered off anyway, would you like a chocolate?

Yanbu!

To my dd plate = steering wheel
Bowl = drum ( once turned upside down)

I always do what you did and eat out regularly. I wipe tray put a bit on add more if she polishes that off.

May I suggest that you hand in your letter of complaint in person after a second meal. Once cool enough give dc the plate and look the other way while he tips it on the floor

Aha Coffee has joined us! Wine or chocolate?

Ah hi Herrena xxxx another one I think its time i went to bed!

Everlong,

The differences as far as the NHS is concerned is its better for jaws/teeth
The baby has more awareness about foods flavers ect as they get older than a purée fed baby.
The baby learns more about eating when they do it themselves

You tend not to have to get into the hiding food thing that lots of children do because they are more likely to just pick something up and eat it if used to different things so less likely to do the refusal thing where's as always having mixed in food can create a liking for blander none indervidual foods.

According to Nottingham uni its better for weight management and healthy food attitudes

How true that is I don't know but that's what they reckon.

Wow - it had never occurred to me that anyone would care whether someone else did baby lead weaning with their child. I cannot imagine why people would waste their time and energy disapproving of the way someone else's baby eats, but this thread has been an eye opener. I can't pretend I'm going to give a flying fuck if someone else thinks my perfectly happy son with a tremendously healthy appetite should be eating off a spoon, but now I know...

The waiter was waaay out of line - complain loudly to his superiors please.

Who cares what its called - its good for young children to touch food and feed themselves because a) its tactile b) fun c) interactive d) self regulatory and e) there is some evidence that allowing a child to explore food and be messy can lessen the chance that one will have a fussy eater.

DoJo, thats about the first sensible comment on this thread !!

God, how rude! And then the half-arsed "apology" - grrrr!

As an aside, hats off to MrPloppy for having been sufficiently indoctrinated in the Ways of MN to ask if he meant to be so rude

YWNBU. You cleaned the tray, you put some food on, you said you'd clean the tray afterwards. What, exactly is the issue? It went against his idea of "normal"? He'd better cop onto himself if he ever plans to have children.

So sorry your meal out was spoilt in this way!