To let DS feed himself from the highchair tray?

[mistressploppy]

Long, sorry...

Birthday lunch for a family friend at a country pub. 8 adults, DS1 (3yo) and DS2 (13mo)

We eat out a lot with the DC so they behave pretty well; no shouting, chucking food etc. DS1 eats like a mini-adult, uses cutlery, no probs. DS2 feeds himself nicely and has done for months (BLW) but as his pasta has arrived as an enormous adult-sized portion on a plate, I pick up a dollop or two and put them on the tray of his highchair. He scoffs away. The babywipes are poised next to him.

Waiter(asst.manager/supervisor?) hovers; 'is there something wrong with the plate?'
Me; 'sorry?'
Waiter; 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PLATE?' (crossly, with sarcasm)
Me; um, oh, sorry...it was a bit hot...he tends to push the plate around...might get broken...I WILL clean the tray myself and wipe up any mess when he's finished...
Waiter;'oh, it's just I couldn't believe it when I saw you just dumping it on the tray like that'
Me;
DH; Er, hang on a minute mate, that's how he eats? No harm done! Do you have children?!'
Waiter; 'no, but I was one once, and my mother would never have just put food in front of me like that...she'd have fed me properly'

At this point my bottom lip went and DH asked him if he'd meant to be so rude(!). He then said; 'well, half of your party were 30mins late for the booking, and then she (gestures) dumps food straight on the table....'

I got a bit upset. Soothing noises ensued from all our party. After about 20mins he returns

Waiter; 'um, right, about earlier; I'm sorry you were upset but... '
Me; (cutting in) 'are you apologising?'
Waiter; 'no, thank you for cleaning up, but I stand by what I sai..'
Me; (nicely) 'I don't want to hear it, thanks!'
Waiter; (loudly, while walking off with his hands raised in despair) 'Ok, fine, you just carry on doing that in every restaurant you go to and see what happens...'

and

WIBU?

I'll tell you what I don't understand everlong. Your point? Either the 'normal' way is easier and best and therefore all the thousands of parents that go down the BLW route are stupid or we only do it because we are lazy and it's easier. Which is it because it can't be both?
Why on earth you would give a flying fuck how other people feed their children when it causes the child no harm and you no inconvenience whatsoever is completely beyond me

The reason you are being judgey and not merely having a difference of opinion is because you are not simply saying "I prefer this method because", you are making quite negative assumptions about the people that make different decisions to you. Anybody with an ounce of intelligence can see pros and cons on both 'sides' and indeed with mixing it up completely and doing your own thing ( which is what most people do).
I just hope that you are not as dismissive and judgemental with your own children when and if they decide to do something 'you don't understand' with their children.

Bugger obviously got too excited

On a side note.... I'm questioning whether this incident actually happened exactly like this. Please return and tell me I'm wrong OP?

I blw, also did with ds1 just didn't know what it was called! I take a bowl out with us and transfer from our plates onto his a little at a time. It's quite easy. 2 of the places we frequent have nice little high chairs without trays, they pull right up to the table.

I wouldn't eat of the table!

Oh lord. He is coming back as a termite in his next life.

Eesh,

It's annoying when some prick thinks they are wonderful enough to be able to patent your child better but they can't. You're wonderful. He's a donkey

X

Bet he didn't get a tip!! Sounds like they were pissed off about u being late and he was venting in appropriately.

I would have rather chanced a small plate though than have DS eat off a restaurant high chair table they r grim!!

I've seen children with food aversions because their parents are neurotic about mess. In my job that is, not just randomly...

Using a plate isn't neurotic!

Wiping a baby's face after every mouthful etc is. Plates are kind of normal.

Everlong, considering that the majority of Earth's parents do not currently feed their children with a bowl and spoon, nor have they ever done
until relatively recently in a fairly small percentage of the world, I would urge you to reconsider your definition of normal.

Oh, and what everything that SneakyNinja says. What's works for you is great; however, calling it normal and criticising other ways of doing it (especially when your way is actually the global and historical minority) is judgy.

You come across one of those people who get worked up over stuff that the tabloid media presents as silly, over-indulgent fads and you dismiss them and judge them without really understanding what they are, or being able to perceive your own choices in a wider context.

THANK YOU oxfordbags and SneakyNinja

Everlong - hate to break it to you but "tradition" is subjective. For lots of people in the world eating with hands or other forms of utensils (not knives forks and spoons) is standard.

Please get off your high horse before you fall off and hurt yourself....

When did I say using a plate was neurotic?

Which (I forgot to add) I don't use as DS throws them in the floor, food and all.

I haven't read this thread, yet. It looks like it goes places because it's so long, but I'll respond to the OP.

I think feeding a baby off the high chair tray is perfectly reasonable! Babies throw plates and I don't worry about germs as much as some people.

Most importantly, that waiter is an utter fuck nugget.

I weaned my children using a sling shot and a teeny tiny water cannon. It irks me when other people don't do it this way.

everlong, at 13 months would you really still be spoonfeeding and not letting them feed themselves though?

"I've always reckoned that BLW is a big copout for Mothers that can't be arsed to feed them"

^^ That right there is the negative comment that probably got peoples backs up everlong
You can't really claim that you were only stating what works best for you when you post ignorant and judgemental comments like that!

All this aside, I suspect the Op got exactly what was intended from this thread. A questionable story resulting in a wonderfully pointless bunfight. Nice one Sneaky you got bloody sucked in again!

I remember when I was young going to a cafe with my mum and my younger sibling. We ordered something pretty inexpensive as money was tight, and this was a treat that'd been budgeted for.

My sibling (aged around 18m at the time) promptly threw the plate of whatever it was (hot cross bun, or toast or something) onto the floor and broke the plate.

We were asked to leave, and to pay for the plate.

We had to walk home as the cost of the plate was enough to eat into the bus fare.

Whether or not any or your party were late has no bearing on how you choose to give food to your child.
I would have complained at length, and at volume to the manager.

Incidentally, my DD is just over 2 and is fed from high chair trays when we go out. I wipe them over myself first, and clean up after she's finished eating.

I can vouch for the op , she wasn't trying to start a BLW bunfight. I think she's off cowering behind her sofa though

Haha ok hotcross

Op I apologise for doubting you but honestly, the cheek of that waiter is just unbelievable!

OP has long scarpered so I'll never know this... Why did OP order a "large" plate of pasta for a toddler?

Me, I would have used the High Chair tray without wiping it first and only fed the toddler tidy food (no sauce), and I would hand over just a few scraps at a time to tot off other people's plates. I think that's more normal than tipping lots of contents direct onto the high tray.

I'm trying not to smell a rat, like lots of unmentioned mess on floor or smeared sauce everywhere.

How ridiculous.
Personally I'd have called the manager the waiter was rude and its not his place to comment IMO
As for feeding baby off a tray of COURSE we would and we are seasoned parenters... It's not about BLW or lazy parenting - it's normal and natural! 'Use a side plate' someone suggested - if you want to break it . Op was being both cautious and sensible in equal measure

Op YANBU at all but I would demand a full refund today as your lovely meal sounds spoiled by arrogance and ignorance

Well, as I said upthread, from our point of view, the main benefit of BLW was that the fact that DS would only eat solids if he was in complete control of what went in his mouth. Any attempts by us to spoonfeed him anything were met with a tightly clamped shut mouth, and him straining his head as far away from the spoon as possible.

So that left us with a choice of doing BLW or not weaning at all.

I used to stare in amazement at babies and toddlers who'd just sit there and open their mouths for spoons like little baby birds. I just couldn't understand why the mere sight of a spoon was greeted with such horror by DS when other babies were perfectly happy to be fed like this.

They can feed themselves from 6mths tho. even with a spoon!!

The way I read the op was

that the food arrives as a unepected massive adult sized portion. So rather than send it back the op delt with it.

She owes alone state her 13 month old feeds himself nicely. Which I think means not lobbing wet pasta all over.

The waiter took issue with a plate not being used.