To let DS feed himself from the highchair tray?

[mistressploppy]

Long, sorry...

Birthday lunch for a family friend at a country pub. 8 adults, DS1 (3yo) and DS2 (13mo)

We eat out a lot with the DC so they behave pretty well; no shouting, chucking food etc. DS1 eats like a mini-adult, uses cutlery, no probs. DS2 feeds himself nicely and has done for months (BLW) but as his pasta has arrived as an enormous adult-sized portion on a plate, I pick up a dollop or two and put them on the tray of his highchair. He scoffs away. The babywipes are poised next to him.

Waiter(asst.manager/supervisor?) hovers; 'is there something wrong with the plate?'
Me; 'sorry?'
Waiter; 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PLATE?' (crossly, with sarcasm)
Me; um, oh, sorry...it was a bit hot...he tends to push the plate around...might get broken...I WILL clean the tray myself and wipe up any mess when he's finished...
Waiter;'oh, it's just I couldn't believe it when I saw you just dumping it on the tray like that'
Me;
DH; Er, hang on a minute mate, that's how he eats? No harm done! Do you have children?!'
Waiter; 'no, but I was one once, and my mother would never have just put food in front of me like that...she'd have fed me properly'

At this point my bottom lip went and DH asked him if he'd meant to be so rude(!). He then said; 'well, half of your party were 30mins late for the booking, and then she (gestures) dumps food straight on the table....'

I got a bit upset. Soothing noises ensued from all our party. After about 20mins he returns

Waiter; 'um, right, about earlier; I'm sorry you were upset but... '
Me; (cutting in) 'are you apologising?'
Waiter; 'no, thank you for cleaning up, but I stand by what I sai..'
Me; (nicely) 'I don't want to hear it, thanks!'
Waiter; (loudly, while walking off with his hands raised in despair) 'Ok, fine, you just carry on doing that in every restaurant you go to and see what happens...'

and

WIBU?

I don't see why this has turned into a debate over weaning methods. The OP is about the rudeness of the waiter, she's not asking for your opinions on how she weans her child.

Well op the waiter was very rude to you! Were you 30 mins late by the way? Remembering back to when i had one that age, (i always asked for a cold plate btw), i can't imagine baby eating straight off high chair tray, only because it could have stained and then the restaurant get accused of dirty high chairs so i do sympathise with them.

And i would always feed baby myself so they dont make a mess in a restaurant that other people are eating in, thats just being courteous isn't it?

I had a highchair for my DD that had a sectioned inner tray that you slotted into the main tray for precisely this purpose.

Those of you freaking out - get a grip

YANBU, the waiter was horribly rude

And as for the BLW not being normal. Of course there is nothing 'normal' about a child picking up food and putting it in their mouth...

everlong, did you even read my post? My dd wont take it off the spoon unless it is mushed. The slightest lump and she wont take another bit of food off the spoon and will eat nothing. She is nearly 13 months old which is obviously gettig too old to be eating food that is so mushed, mushed to the point of being as smooth as the jars which say 4 month + on them, and she will eat food with her fingers. Should I be feeding her puree still just to avoid mess?

"Each to their own but I can't help but feel this is more about the mothers wishes than those of the child."

I don't follow, everlong. You seem to be insinuating that your way was the right way for children, and that BLW is the wrong way. How so?

wholly unneccessary for both.
but they might not eat the same way later. a lot of children wgo were spoonfed became fussy eaters. I have a thing about textures myself - I can't stand it when food doesn't feel like I expect and I find it veryy hard to eat food that has different textures in one dish (eg bananas incustard, trifle, fruit pie, anything runny and fruity at the same time, fruit cake, anything squidgy (eg cheesecake) etc etc)
I was fed "the traditional way"

But landrover my 8 year old dd still makes a mess at times (and my dh to that matter) but I don't spoon feed them .

Whats this thread got to do about blw?

Actually quite often if a baby is spoonfedits very common for apparent to just try to vet them to eat 'one more mouthful'. How often do you see parents doing 'here comes the aero plane' etc and encouraging their child to eat more.

If they feed themselves they stop when they are full.

Fair enough squeak,do they use plates though?

at landrover

(Only because they won't fit in the highchair....)

lol at dh in highchair, squeek

Everlong I don't think you read my post either. It's DS's choice that he longer wants to be spoonfed. Should I force him then?

We have one of those suction bowls. He pulls it off.

Especially after a few pints DH is a very messy eater!!!!!

*no longer

We're talking about a 13 month old though - however they are weaned at 6-9 months, by 13 months few people are still spoon feeding are they? You would expect a baby/toddler that age to be feeding themselves mostly, with spoon and fingers.

god if there isn't ebnough crap to carry around with a baby and a toddler withouthaving to factor in crockery and cutlery when you're going to a restaurant! ffs.

"Each to their own but I can't help but feel this is more about the mothers wishes than those of the child."

What a ridiculous thing to say everlong!

I could do with a suction bowl for DH (muses about where to get a big one with a wine glass holder on the side!)

Btw, what's with all the mother basing everlong

"I've always reckoned this blw is a big cop out for mothers that can't be arsed feeding them"

"It's for the mother's benefit"

Don't fathers ever get involved then?

Lazy mothers. You tell em everlong.

Fair enough, everlong.

I still don't understand people who don't understand BLW though. Surely its not hard for people to get their heads round the fact that babies can pick up food and eat it, so why keep mushing it if they are ready to have it whole? I mean, way before we even tried it (I wanted to spoon feed her) I still understood the concept even though I didn't particularly want to do it.