To let DS feed himself from the highchair tray?

[mistressploppy]

Long, sorry...

Birthday lunch for a family friend at a country pub. 8 adults, DS1 (3yo) and DS2 (13mo)

We eat out a lot with the DC so they behave pretty well; no shouting, chucking food etc. DS1 eats like a mini-adult, uses cutlery, no probs. DS2 feeds himself nicely and has done for months (BLW) but as his pasta has arrived as an enormous adult-sized portion on a plate, I pick up a dollop or two and put them on the tray of his highchair. He scoffs away. The babywipes are poised next to him.

Waiter(asst.manager/supervisor?) hovers; 'is there something wrong with the plate?'
Me; 'sorry?'
Waiter; 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PLATE?' (crossly, with sarcasm)
Me; um, oh, sorry...it was a bit hot...he tends to push the plate around...might get broken...I WILL clean the tray myself and wipe up any mess when he's finished...
Waiter;'oh, it's just I couldn't believe it when I saw you just dumping it on the tray like that'
Me;
DH; Er, hang on a minute mate, that's how he eats? No harm done! Do you have children?!'
Waiter; 'no, but I was one once, and my mother would never have just put food in front of me like that...she'd have fed me properly'

At this point my bottom lip went and DH asked him if he'd meant to be so rude(!). He then said; 'well, half of your party were 30mins late for the booking, and then she (gestures) dumps food straight on the table....'

I got a bit upset. Soothing noises ensued from all our party. After about 20mins he returns

Waiter; 'um, right, about earlier; I'm sorry you were upset but... '
Me; (cutting in) 'are you apologising?'
Waiter; 'no, thank you for cleaning up, but I stand by what I sai..'
Me; (nicely) 'I don't want to hear it, thanks!'
Waiter; (loudly, while walking off with his hands raised in despair) 'Ok, fine, you just carry on doing that in every restaurant you go to and see what happens...'

and

WIBU?

[midori1999]

YANBU. I still put DD's food on the high chair tray now and she's 21 months. I do give the high hair a good scrub with Dettol wipes first though, some places have disgusting high chairs, really grubby.

I'm sure they'd rather food on the tray than a broken plate or burnt toddler.

The waiter was rude, you should have asked of there was something wrong with his social skills, what a pity his Mother didn't spend more time teaching him manners....

Complain.

[crashdoll]

I must be from another planet to some of you here.

Even if he is a baby, you cannot slop food onto a highchair tray. If the baby does it himself, then fine but you were in a restaurant. The waiter was very rude but YWBU!

[VerySmallSqueak]

Do people not let their babies of 13 months feed themselves then?

(genuine question - because I can't see how a baby this age eating can be a clean process whether it's off a plate or a highchair tray)

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

Isn't that what the tray is for?

[VerySmallSqueak]

That's where I am Twelve as I honestly cannot see the difference between a clean highchair tray and a clean plate,except that with a plate the whole lot can go on the floor in one go.

[dotcomlovenest]

Ummm do this in all places its how all babies eat. I would not have been paying for that meal outrageous.

[catgirl1976]

YANBU at all

What a rude rude person

I do this. I don't trust DS with china yet. I clean trays first and clean up afterwards

I would complain strongly

[SecretLindtBunny]

YAMDNBU

I really hope you or DH are writing a letter of complaint to the owners of the business. That is shockingly ignorant and downright rude of him.

[CatchTheFox]

"you cannot slop food onto a highchair tray" huh? why not? i genuinely don't see how this is a problem.
my oldest kid ate off his tray until he was old enough to have a plate without just chucking it everywhere. nobody was harmed in any way.

[MajaBiene]

everlong, obviously you help them not to make a mess and you wipe the tray afterwards, but really at 13 months I would be surprised to see someone either giving a child a china plate or spoonfeeding a baby of that age.

crashdoll, what would you do in that situation - give the baby the plate and fork?

[DesperatelySeekingSedatives]

YANBU in that the waiter was a rude twat. I don't put stuff straight onto the highchair tray myself usually (the odd sandwich after a wipe down or a pack of raisins- dry food basically) but I do take DS's own plate and cutlery when we go out for dinner anywhere unless it's MacDonalds.--

You should complain because the waiter was so incredibly out of order I'm almost embarrassed for the silly fool

[chickensaladagain]

they were bloody lucky you bought a meal for a 13month old rather than doing what everyone else does and just nick bits of the adults plates to feed to the baby

he was being an arse

[KnottedAnchorChief]

My DD is 12mo and always eats off the tray when we're out. She is a ninja with tableware and can hit a moving target with a plate full of pasta at 30 paces.

Tell us where this place is mistressploppy and we can all have some fun!

[MajaBiene]

If you tipped the plate straight onto the table then I can see his point, but I really don't see the problem with food on a wipe clean high chair tray.

DS is 2 now and I do mostly take a plastic plate and a little fork out with me.

[DesperatelySeekingSedatives]

Also I'd never bother attempting to feed either of mine by 13 months. They would never allow anyone too. The whole lot would have definitely ended up on the floor if anyone tried to help them! I wasnt/ am not even allowed to help! (DS is 21mths)

[sjupes]

Ds is 16 months and whenever we go out for lunch he gets plopped in a high chair and his lunch is put on the tray in wee handfuls.

Ywdnbu!

Ds is also a thrower/tipper when he is finished sometimes he does it when he's sleepy too. It's just safer for everyone if he has no plate ..

[ArtVandelay]

Brianbutterfield - no, I meant for the sake of the DC. It doesn't bother me! I just remember high chairs in restaurants being filled with crumbs and grease. It sounds like you are not bothered by dirt that's your choice, just like its my choice to like things clean and tidy. I also don't find it a faff at all as I'm already toting a large bag of rubbish to amuse 3 DCs just so I can eat my dinner :)

[SpaghettiBologneighs]

God, how bloody rude. YANBU at all!

[ENSMUM]

Why on earth should you not put food on the high chair tray? Surely, for the baby, the tray is the equivalent of their plate? Give them the plate and if the plate goes on the floor, so does ALL of their food in one go.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

What a twat. DD2 feeds herself at 14 months as did DD1. If I give her a plate the whole lot goes on the floor. If I give it to her on the tray then a few bits will. As I'm invariably the one cleaning up the mess I know which I prefer.

The only way you can feed a toddler cleanly is to micro manage every morsel. I prefer to let them learn to feed themselves.

[WireCatWhore]

Yanbu.
When my toddler was a younger he refused to use a plate.

He BLW by himself, he refused to let me feed him.

So I'd have to use anti bac wipes when I was out & about on high chairs.

He was extremely rude. I'd complain.

[sleeplessbunny]

YWNBU
I hope you forgot to clean the tray afterwards

[IsabelleRinging]

YABU!

If I saw someone dump a bowl of pasta in sauce onto the highchair tray I would definitely look twice.

Doesn't the baby use a spoon at 13 months? I never fed my dd like this, at 13 months she would have had a bowl and spoon and I would have had a hand at the ready to grab the bowl quick smart if she showed any sign of pushing it off or dropping it. I would have only put dry food straight onto the tray for her.

[JacqueslePeacock]

We eat out a lot and ALWAYS do this with DS (now 18 mo, also BLW, still can't be trusted not to throw a plate). Absolutely normal and recommended for BLW. We have never been spoken to like that and I would have been HORRIFIED if we had. Please do write and complain.