To let DS feed himself from the highchair tray?

[mistressploppy]

Long, sorry...

Birthday lunch for a family friend at a country pub. 8 adults, DS1 (3yo) and DS2 (13mo)

We eat out a lot with the DC so they behave pretty well; no shouting, chucking food etc. DS1 eats like a mini-adult, uses cutlery, no probs. DS2 feeds himself nicely and has done for months (BLW) but as his pasta has arrived as an enormous adult-sized portion on a plate, I pick up a dollop or two and put them on the tray of his highchair. He scoffs away. The babywipes are poised next to him.

Waiter(asst.manager/supervisor?) hovers; 'is there something wrong with the plate?'
Me; 'sorry?'
Waiter; 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PLATE?' (crossly, with sarcasm)
Me; um, oh, sorry...it was a bit hot...he tends to push the plate around...might get broken...I WILL clean the tray myself and wipe up any mess when he's finished...
Waiter;'oh, it's just I couldn't believe it when I saw you just dumping it on the tray like that'
Me;
DH; Er, hang on a minute mate, that's how he eats? No harm done! Do you have children?!'
Waiter; 'no, but I was one once, and my mother would never have just put food in front of me like that...she'd have fed me properly'

At this point my bottom lip went and DH asked him if he'd meant to be so rude(!). He then said; 'well, half of your party were 30mins late for the booking, and then she (gestures) dumps food straight on the table....'

I got a bit upset. Soothing noises ensued from all our party. After about 20mins he returns

Waiter; 'um, right, about earlier; I'm sorry you were upset but... '
Me; (cutting in) 'are you apologising?'
Waiter; 'no, thank you for cleaning up, but I stand by what I sai..'
Me; (nicely) 'I don't want to hear it, thanks!'
Waiter; (loudly, while walking off with his hands raised in despair) 'Ok, fine, you just carry on doing that in every restaurant you go to and see what happens...'

and

WIBU?

[TwoPoundCharityShopShoes]

unbelievable!

[Annunziata]

That's absolutely shocking. Please phone the manager and complain, you did not deserve to be spoken to like that.

I will admit my heart sinks a little bit when I see parents do it, but to speak to a paying customer like that

[mummymccar]

YANBU! What is it to him? I'd love to see how he'd react if he gave my dd (12 months) a plate - plastic or not!
He was a twat, complain op!

[IsabelleRinging]

So what does BLW teach them that conventional feeding doesn't? Not being obtuse, genuinely interested. By conventional, I mean spooning sloppy stuff for them with gradual withdrawal until they spoon themselves plus finger foods from the beginning for dry things. I may be being ignorant, but the only difference seems to be that wet foods are given to the baby without plates or cutlery and the baby is expected to get them in his mouth with his hands without adult assistance. How do you know your baby wouldn't prefer you to feed them?

[SneakyNinja]

Some people are using ridiculous comparisons here. The Op did not smear an entire bowl of pasta sauce over a tableclothed table here

FWIW, I BLW'd because both myself and my DS found it to be the best and easiest way for both of us. Really don't understand the confusion about a very simple difference in parenting 'techniques' I mean seriously who cares?

[ariane5]

YANBU

We don't eat out but ds2 10months eats from his highchair tray as if food is on a plate/in a bowl it gets thrown.

I think I would have cried if it had been me, I hope it didn't ruin your nice meal out.Some people are just silly.

[MidnightMasquerader]

Exactly, Isabelle.

I did BLW, but once I copped onto myself and realised that a plague of locusts wasn't going to descend if I did BLW and spoon-fed when the occassion demanded it, it all became a great deal easier.

Letting a baby shovel wet food into its mouth isn't teaching it anything. Pre-loading a spoon and handing it over and taking it back to re-pre-load doesn't teach it anything though it does make you want to gouge your own eyeballs out with said spoon.

I let the DC play with a spoon when at home, and then adapted our style to include spoon feeding as and when, incl when out. They somehow managed to use a spoon with remarkable ease and the whole experience wasn't even more draining than it could have been for me. :) Win win.

[5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs]

Its not a blw thing, ita a toddler feeding themselves thing.

There are pictures of me at a similar age with my food on the highchair tray eating. I had a little fork/spoon and also was using my fingers. My mum said as we were living in sardinia at the time it was just what everyone did with little ones.


If you have a highchair without a tray then no i wouldnt just put it on the main table that everyone is eating off but if its a plastic high chair tray, they clip on and off to be cleaned ans that is what they are designed for.

Ime the plates they bring a toddler portion out on are often too big to fit on the highchair tray or too hot. If as in the ops example the waiter doesnt like it perhaps he should tell his boss to buy small plastic plates and to not serve hot plates to a toddler.

Mine have all had a fork and spoon ftom 6mths and fed themselves, even sloppy stuff maybe with me shovelling the odd spoonful in. With soup i give them crusty bread they can dip and eat the soup like that.

When we have friends round with little ones i use a wipe clean table cloth, provide plastic plates, bowls etc and expect a bit of a mess.

When out i will try and minimise mess ie order something less likely to make a mess but i will clean up the highchair, pick up any spilt bits etc. Tho tnh dd is 26mths and doesnt make too much mess now, certainly nothing that cant be dealt with with a quick swish with a wet wipe.

[MidnightMasquerader]

The carnage wasn't that bad. And it beat cooking and boiling and steaming and portioning and freezing and defrosting any day of the week.

I don't really get why anyone would stick to any particular way to wean over another. For me, it was mix and match and take the best hits from all methods.

[choceyes]

I only preloaded spoons because dc1 especially only wanted to hold the spoon himself. He didnt like me spoonfeeding him at all. Dc2 was more willing so i fed her a few mouthfuls and then she refusedthe spoon altogether, and ate finger foods instead.

[MidnightMasquerader]

I think the idea of it being grim for me is that it's a restaurant high chair.

I fed the DC directly on our antilop chair tray all the time. But would never do it in a restaurant.

[elliejjtiny]

I did that with my DS's at that age, they were BLW plate throwers too .

[5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs]

My dd very rarely let me feed her; hell she didnt even like me filling up the spoon for her.

Ds1 would sit like a little bird with an open mouth waiting for the next spoonful, they are all different but all had the opportunity to feed themselves witj a bit of help.

And if you start weaning at 6mths they dont need sloppy stuff, they can chew imo pureeing etc is more hard work. Just give them what you are eating, chopped eyc as appropriate.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

I reckon people who don't understand BLW have a problem with mess...

Incidentally I used to spoon feed DS until he reached an age where he refused to be spoon fed. He wants to feed himself. Yes it's a mess, but who cares? He enjoys himself.

[hokeycakey]

Oh FFS YANBU

I cannot believe that anyone thinks otherwise "shocked" at seeing some pasta on a high chair tray seriously you people have nothing real to worry about evidently

OP put a small amount on the high chair tray didn't pour all the pasta with sauce onto the tray I have blw mostly but spoonfed porridge and soup etc, kids enjoy it and all have good table manners now

I bet you are so fun to be around tutting as other people do things that don't affect you in any way and hurt nobody

Also the floor is dirty did you not allow your kids to crawl either?

[5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs]

But blw doesnt have to equal food everywhere anyway. Its a small portion of food on the tray that will be eaten or just wiped up at the end of the meal.

I dont know what carnage people are imagining but it doesnt have to be very messy anyway.

[MidnightMasquerader]

Well, to be fair, this thread is painting a pretty bad picture of BLW - what with people depicting plates flying and rooms generally under siege...

I didn't find it that bad, personally. The early few weeks were reasonably bad, but they get the hang of it sooner rather than later. Still far less overall faff than pureeing and all that rigmarole...

[TarkaTheOtter]

Can't believe people would be shocked by this. I do it all the time. And on an un-tableclothed table too (although admittedly only dry stuff on the table itself). I have never noticed any funny looks - I thought it was what everyone did? I sometimes always wipe the tray down first. I think so long as you clean up after yourself what is the harm? Do people really get upset if they see a 13month old picking up pasta with fingers.

I reckon it's just those who are unreasonably defensive about their own weaning choices that would judge for this. Some people spoon feed, some don't - who cares?

[IsabelleRinging]

zzzzz but they are a great invention, I never understand the persisting with chopsticks either when the fork and knife are clearly more efficient and a superior invention

[MidnightMasquerader]

Christ, at the end of the day it's just getting a baby to eat food, it doesn't really matter how it's done.