To think some posters invent their DC

[nurserytea]

Because they seem to spend all day, every day posting on Mumsnet. They are never off the forum, popping up on every second thread, demonstrating an encyclopaedic knowledge of OPs' posting history, past threads, current threads etc etc

Who on earth gets these 'DC' out to school, and feeds them and clears up after them and supervises their homework and cooks their dinner? Do some of you have full time maids and nannies who do all that stuff while you lounge around eating chocolates and aibu-ing?

What are the names of the people who spend all day, every day posting on Mumsnet, are never off the forum, popping up on every second thread, demonstrating an encyclopaedic knowledge of OPs' posting history, past threads, current threads?

I'm like the urban spaceman, baby. I don't exist.

Well, I feel a bit invisible anyway. I work shifts so am often at home with the DCs are at school, new girl in town without a friend to my name and a bit of a hermit.

I sit down to study and my smartphone just leaps into my hand and forces me to MN.

I am unsurprisingly behind on coursework and my house is a tip. Oh and the school is across the road so my schoolrun takes less than 2 mins.

But my kids are real might be quieter if they were imaginary

YABU

I have invented my job, that's why I'm generally on MN in working hours only

My kids are real, it is me that is imaginary!

I MN while they are at school and then when I am at work doing a night shift.

I MN now, while sat waiting for the school gates to open.

Names OP, I want the names of our most regular posters!

I like the amazing technology called a smartphone (from which I am now posting) it means I can, shock horror, do two things at once.

I've got my tits out right now in fact. And the tiddler's only using one of them - I'm just enjoying the airing. I've mn on the loo before now.
I guess you never know what people are doing - it's 50/50 that at any one time I'm doing something you really don't want to see but, considering I've not had to concentrate on a poo for a good long time, I do this instead!

No names I'm afraid, they might set their imaginary dogs on me.

Is it bothering you then nursery?

My child is real. She's currently punching my bladder and massaging my ribcage with her feet. She gives me plenty of time to sit on the Internet all day stuffing my face do important things because I have a placenta nanny dahhling.

My DD is 19 so can fend for herself. She's currently hanging wallpaper in the bedroom for me (she's well trained).

Always post from phone, so might be on train/ taxi/ in bath/ outside nursery waiting for finish/ etc etc

I MN while I am on my cross trainer, now THAT'S commitment!

And like Dannilion my DS is currently bouncing up and down, using my bladder as a trampoline.

Mine never want to go out & do anything. Hence the free time to come on here. And there's only so much job hunting & housework I can stomach.

People do lie online, though, & present only one side of themselves.

Recently I discovered that simply asking the butler to peel me the occasional grape was bringing on a certain ennui. I needed a diversion. So I decided to invent some children. But not wishing to exclude myself from all aspects of Mumsnet I soon realised it would be better to have children, grandchildren AND be a MIL. That way I could be as unreasonable as possible on as many areas of the board as possible.

In reality, of course, I am actually a 54 year old coal heaver from Accrington called Trevor.

Im fake.

Fake tits, fake tan and fake blond.

My children are not fake

My Nanny is not fake

My nails are fake

Most people are fake in life.

MoreBets am just jealous of your perfect skin as I have premenstrual second head growing on my left cheek

Some people just have good memories and can remember facts from people's previous posts, especially if they participated on the thread.

There's also the handy search function which throws up a posters entire posting history.

It's not that hard to 'know' stuff about posters.

Wait...we are allowed to make stuff up?

I thought I was a figment of my own imagination, but I'm real. The monotony of living in Groundhog Day supports it.

DH throws them out in the morning and the bus takes them to and from school. DD1 helps make tea

In all seriousness though I do wonder how many people on here have invented a MN persona. Not talking about any one particular poster (to answer that accusation) and have heard of but never posted to Worral so no axe to grind with her (to answer that accusation) but there's so much madness and fighting and teasing and tongue in cheek stuff and weirdness and really funny writing and seriously childish behaviour and posters who take ironic stuff seriously and posters who take serious stuff ironically and aggressive bulldogs that take everything aggressively, that sometimes its hard to believe all of these posters are real responsible adults raising children. Some of them must have invented alter egos that they send in here when they feel like a good row.

I don't mean the perfect mums with all the answers. They're not imaginary, they're just deluded .

OP, Im very organised with DC. Shes eaten already and is now resting on the sofa with the kids tv on. we have a routine every evening for this. early evenings is her time for tv so she winds down for bed, even if im watching something i can watch and mn too, and sometimes during day shes got ict work on computer (home ed) and when she has a tea break i may pop here for a bit.

but each day after dinner time is my time on pc and her tv time, both in same room. works for us.