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Original poster

Pole dancing parties for eight year olds - starting a bit young?

373 replies

nemoni · 11/03/2013 13:14

So, whilst trawling the internet for a suitable party venue for one of my children I was fairly surprised to see pole dancing parties listed under 'children's party venues in Manchester' on the local netmums page www.netmums.com/manchester/local/view/parties/venues/pole-dance-and-beauty-party

So, 'Caters for adults and children's parties from 8+' - pole dancing parties for eight year olds? Am I missing something??!! Or, am I being unreasonable in my assertions that this is a bit inappropriate and perhaps takes girl's make-over parties to a whole new level? Surprised to see it advertised as a children's party venue, even more surprised to it it on said website.

Over to you fellow mumsnetters...

OP posts:
thebody · 13/03/2013 23:28

I seriously cant belive it op.

no parents can be that stupid and vile with their dds.

But if course I know they can.

Soooo sad in 2013 that still some dds have mothers who put up this crap as a role model.

5madthings · 13/03/2013 23:28

Dear god on what planet is pole dancing appropriate for children?!!

Weeps at the world my children are growing up in :(

thebody · 13/03/2013 23:30

Totally 5madthings. Vile vile vile.

MechanicalTheatre · 13/03/2013 23:32

It is not ok because it comes from the sex industry. That has been said many times on this thread, and I think I've come to the conclusion that you either get that and it bothers you, or it just doesn't.

nailak · 13/03/2013 23:36

but doesnt some of the zumba moves also come from sex industry? women dance for men without a pole as well!

personally I am not saying both are ok, I am just wondering why.

MechanicalTheatre · 13/03/2013 23:43

I don't really know what zumba is tbh. But we're not talking about it. We're talking about pole dancing. For 8 year olds.

nailak · 13/03/2013 23:47

yes and I am talking about a comparison between two different exercise classes, both which use moves that could be used in the sex industry and why one is ok and one isn't.

If you don't know what zumba fitness is you should youtube it, the same way many you tubed pole fitness after seeing this thread.

nailak · 13/03/2013 23:52

belly dancing is also something that originally was done to titillate men?

ThatVikRinA22 · 13/03/2013 23:52

....all i ever wanted to do when i was about 7 was slide down a firemans pole. I used to make my uncle stand with a large cardboard insert from a carpet remnant while i climbed onto a chair arm to slide down it.....

seriously.
so i doubt any 8 yr old is thinking about strippers - they will be thinking its a chance to slide down a pole...

im not advocating it mind you. i was allowed to do the most perculiar things as a very young child - i was brought up for the first 8 years by very accommodating grand parents! my first 8 years were fab (and made up for the next 8 i suppose when i didnt have them)
(one of my greatest loves was cutting up polystyrene egg boxes with a tomato knife.....)
the autism gene clearly runs deep in our family...Smile

anyway back to the point. sliding up and down shiny poles would have appealed to me between the ages of 6 and 8. no sexual connotations at all would have been in my head at 8. I was happy as a pig in muck digging for worms. but i really wanted to slide down a pole just like firemen did.

i also ran about in frilly nappy pants and nothing else at 2.
and nothing on at all frequently.
i wore shoes far too small
i was allowed to fall in nettles.
i got sun burnt.
i slid down the bannister from top to bottom
i played in stagnant water looking for newts and water beetles.
i stood outside with a brolly during thunder storms because i like to watch them. (brolly had a six inch spike on top! in lightening!! doh!)
i was allowed to pick up mice, moles, bats and all manner of creepy crawlies, frogs, toads, all sorts of things that probably now would be seen as some sort of child protection issue and would have folk clutching their pearls quicker than you can say "firemans pole".

thats my 2 penneth. make of it what you will.
did no one else ever want to slide down a shiny pole as a kid? or am i just really really odd.....?

cory · 13/03/2013 23:57

The party was actually aimed at 12yos, not 8 yos. And I think there is a fair chance that 12yos will be associating pole dancing with the sex industry.

To me, it is not that pole dancing historically/originally whatever derived from the sex industry.

It is the fact that pole dancing is currently associated with the sex industry and that pre-teen girls know that. In my town adverts are placed all round the city centre and it is quite clear from the nature of the picture what kind of service is being advertised... There is no way I as a parent could ok this kind of party without giving my dd a clear message that I am ok with the porn industry.

The fact that the party service whose representative was on here all innocent turned out to be run by a porn star seems fairly symptomatic.

Lueji · 14/03/2013 00:04

belly dancing is also something that originally was done to titillate men?

Isn't it still?

Personally, I don't think I'd have a belly dancing party for a daughter, if I had one.

MechanicalTheatre · 14/03/2013 00:04

Vicar, I liked to be tied up as a child. Go figure, eh? I obviously had no idea of any sexual connotations, I just knew that I liked it and was forever trying to get people to tie me up or hold me down. It makes me feel a bit weird admitting that, I don't know why.

nailak, I don't think there's anything wrong with dancing sexually. People are sexual, dancing is fun. I used to work with a group of Colombians and when we went out it was ridiculous fun because everyone dances in the most obviously sexual way - men AND women - and yet, it is just about fun, there is no attempt at degradation or shame.

However, pole dancing is primarily associated with stripping, and stripping is about the subjugation and abuse of women. I cannot get behind anything that promotes that.

AnyFucker · 14/03/2013 00:05

Yes, vic,, you are odd to equate the innocence of childhood with the tackiness of pole dancing classes provided by a woman who fingers her anus on her twitter feed

MechanicalTheatre · 14/03/2013 00:06

"a woman who fingers her anus on her twitter feed" - oh we're all fingering our anuses on our twitter feeds these days. It's normal. Get over it.

Szeli · 14/03/2013 00:10

Obviously not the most reliable of sources but the first link on google when looking at the history as after all this I was quite intrigued;

"Pole dancing can be traced back more than two thousand years, to sports that were only participated in by men and women. Mallakhamb [7] is an Indian sport, which utilizes the same principles of endurance and strength as pole, using a wooden pole, wider in diameter than a modern standard pole, which has a large wooden ball at the top. Chinese pole, originating in India, also has a male dominated history, using two poles, on which men would perform ?gravity defying tricks? as they leapt from pole to pole, at approximately twenty feet in the air. The dancing, which has been utilized in strip clubs in the erotic version of the sport, was initially part of dances performed in matriarchal societies, performed by women for women, and not as an erotic act for men.[8] In the 1920s, traveling circuses and side shows would utilize pole dancing with a pole in the middle of a tent. Eventually the activity moved from tents to bars, and combined with burlesque dance aspects, but did not move into erotic or strip tease territory until the 1980s, first in Canada, then the United States."

So it is a male sport :p problem solved x

ThatVikRinA22 · 14/03/2013 00:11

i actually missed the fact that she is a sex worker. oops.

i just know id have loved to get my hands on a pole at 8. i envied firemen soooo much.

at 8 it just wouldnt have occured to me that strippers existed. but i can see that perhaps this particular "brand" of party would not be quite what i thought it was....Blush

i envisaged lots of kids tearing arsing around sliding down poles with fire man sam hats on....

perhaps not eh!?!!
sorry. i did miss the fact she is a sex worker. totally. doh.

nailak · 14/03/2013 00:12

cory thank you for your explanation makes sense

lueji many dance forms are something that is still used to titillate men. However most of us dont have an issue with our kids, or ourselves dancing. There seems to be some kind of acceptable titillation and teaching how to prepare girls to titillate men and non acceptable forms. Many women said they wouldn't go to pole fitness, as it is part of the sex industry, but they would do dance moves that are also currently used in sex industry, go to restaurants with belly dancers in etc and see it as fun?

mechanical yes i get that it is the primary association. However the primary association over time can change? like bumping and grinding may at one time been associated with sex industry, then with music industry, and now is seen as harmless fun?

I didnt read the whole thread, i missed the bit about fingering anus

AnyFucker · 14/03/2013 00:14

That was a lovely picture of childhood innocence you painted there, vic

And I was rather terse, sorry

What a shame that shit like this is stripping away the true pleasures of being a child, eh

Lueji · 14/03/2013 00:14

Personally, I'd find it odd to see my children do some dance moves that are overtly sexual.
And I certainly wouldn't encourage it.

Szeli · 14/03/2013 00:16

I don't think ants fingering was ever intended to be party of the parties... The twitter feed is hilarious tho; you'd think if she wanted to start doing children's parties her evening job might have been better under a pseudonym. Guess she'll live and learn! x

Szeli · 14/03/2013 00:17

Anal obviously, no idea what ants would involve... Hmm

MechanicalTheatre · 14/03/2013 00:30

Fingering ANTS? Fucking hell. That is dark.

I'd be seriously hoping that any children of mine wouldn't be bumping and grinding.

I haven't seen anyone on here say they'd go and see a belly dancer for entertainment. I know I wouldn't.

MechanicalTheatre · 14/03/2013 00:34

And nailak your whole argument about dancing being used in the sex industry makes no sense. Women also have hair in the sex industry and they have dresses. I am not calling for a ban on everything that has ever had anything to do with the sex industry.

I am asking that women open their eyes to what pole fitness actually is.

Sadly, I think a lot of them actually DO realise it's sexual and are just denying it and calling it fun and gymnastic and blah blah blah. Go to a gymnastics class then! But women like the kudos of being "empowered" and "naughty" and whatever the fuck else we're all meant to be these days.

Lueji · 14/03/2013 00:40

I go to a self defence class to feel "empowered" and "naughty". :o

ThatVikRinA22 · 14/03/2013 01:13

i went back to re read what i missed the first time in my haste to talk of my desire for firemens poles.....

had a google.

bugger me. or her if you pay the subscription fee. Grin

blimey.
i really did miss the whole porn star thing. and now my DH is going to wonder what the actual fuck ive been watching. i have sullied my lap top.