"He knows it wasn't so much his actual going out but the way which he behaved towards me that made me so upset."
It was both!
And now he has convinced you that it was only his offhand and domineering manner that was the problem.
Seriously, you've been had.
First he tells you at the 11th hour that he's going out in an attempt to avoid objections.
Then when you are upset and asking him not to go, he says you are controlling if you don't accept that he can't be relied on to look after his own children.
He goes out despite how upset you are.
Then he comes home full of fake contrition, convinces you that the only issue was his cruelty and not his expectation of going to comedy night with a week old baby at home.
"Oh of course, I know you're not controlling enough to ever expect me not to do whatever I choose. You're just upset because I wasn't kind as I wiped my feet all over you."
Then he nicely asks if he can go out tonight, which of course must be alright.
Because the only problem yesterday was delivery, not the actual message. Right?
And if you say no when he's asked nicely, then you are controlling.
Because leaving his children in your care is his right, whether or not you are agreeable.
Because he's the important one.