to be extremely angry that so-called friends dumped their backwashy alcoholic ice in my drink?

[drfayray]

I have been told that I am being unreasonably angry. I don't think I am. So MN...please...opinions.

I do not drink alcohol - did not grow up in a drink-based culture and now do not like the taste. However, do not care if others drink.

I go Latin dancing on Saturdays and often some of us go out for a drink in one of the local bars in the street. Six of us go to this cool bar, and five order mojitos and one (guess who?) orders a lemon, lime and bitters. We sit, drink and chat. Others go on about how delish their drink is, how I should try it, why don't I drink, ad naseum. I just say what I usually do: don't like it. Now I am a slow drinker..sip sip sip...I notice that my drink is about half full when people were getting a second and so didn't bother. Then when I go to take a sip, I notice that my glass is full...brimming! Two twatish guys had dumped their ice from their mojitos into my drink!

My drink is spoiled. I do not want to drink someone's backwash mojito flavoured ice. Plus surely, mucking about with a woman's drink is not really a thing to do, is it? I am so angry I explode. I tell the two twats orf..saying what hell were they playing at? They offer to buy me replacement drink. I refuse. I wanted to finish MY drink. I only wanted the one. I leave - was going to go anyway.

Now the men are saying it was just a joke and I am over-reacting.

Am I?

Yes, it was childish but it's really not that big a deal.

How do you react when something really bad happens?

Yes massive over reaction (I don't drink either)

I am peri-menopausal and filled with rage at the moment

You are over reacting.

"I want to finish MY drink"

Sorry but that sounds so childish

Did they give any explanation for their behaviour at all? Not much of a "joke" really was it.

I don't think you're overreacting - in fact I wonder why women put up with these 'jokes' all the time - seem designed to humiliate or embarass to me

But I am wondering if you want to remain friends with them - you've been firm with them so I imagine they won't do it again.

They know you're boundaries as you have been clear. But emotionally you still need to let go of your anger (for yourself, not them) - so how are you going to do that?

Childish, but they offered to replace your drink.

Total over reaction on your part, IMO.

Ewwww. I wouldn't have liked it, but I would just roll my eyes, make them buy me a new drink and got over it.

Erm... Yes, frankly.

Mild annoyance is a proportionate response - they did offer to buy you another drink after all. The kind of anger you seem to be feeling seems a little OTT to me. Sorry.

Over-reaction, yes. It would have been annoying if they hadn't offered to buy you another drink, but they did. Mild irritation is the appropriate response I'd say.

The were wrong to dump their ice in your drink, because it's rude and a bit gross, not because it may be tainted with a hint of alcohol and 'backwash'.

It does sound like your reaction may have been slightly disproportionate to the crime though, so maybe you did go a tad over the top. I can't see a bit of ice being worth exploding over.

Wow, that was an over-reaction. It was stupid and not particularly funny, but I don't think the whole shouty-flouncy routine was necessary.

Constantly pestering you about not drinking is worse, IMO

I would be miffed but if they offered to buy a fresh drink then no harm done surely?
There are bigger things to get angry about.

Thanks for replies. I have had quite a lot of crapola happen to me recently and strangely did not react like this...odd...

They are not close friends; just dance buddies. I asked the main culprit why and he said he didn't know why. Just thought it was funny to give me a taste of the mojito. It was like they couldn't understand why I don't drink. They were all white Australians; all men except for two women one being me (Indian).

What if op was a recovering alcoholic? My friend is but would have dealt with pestering about why she doesn't drink the same way. Or does she now have to tell acquaintances her life story?

That is disgusting and non-funny behaviour by them. I mean why on earth would you do something like that?!?

I don't think it matters what your reaction was, I would just avoid drinking with these two in the future

YABU and incredibly uptight. It wasn't a funny joke but they soon realised you were humourless and offered to buy you a new drink.

"I wanted to finish MY drink" is the conversation of toddlers. You didn't actually say that?

I also want to know how you react to REAL problems.

Oh and yanbu they are twats!

Blimey - I often nick other people's ice as it makes my (usually non alcoholic) drink last longer

They probably just didn't realise - why didn't you take the replacement drink?

I am like you OP and very fastidious about not sharing spit etc....YANBU but chill out.

I agree the pestering about drinking is annoying, but sadly very common. For some reason a person needs to have a 'good enough' reason why they don't drink or people don't let up.

White Australians !!! What the heck has that got to do with anything.

Are you deliberately trying to turn it into a racist rant.