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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be extremely angry that so-called friends dumped their backwashy alcoholic ice in my drink?

111 replies

drfayray · 08/03/2013 08:14

I have been told that I am being unreasonably angry. I don't think I am. So MN...please...opinions.

I do not drink alcohol - did not grow up in a drink-based culture and now do not like the taste. However, do not care if others drink.

I go Latin dancing on Saturdays and often some of us go out for a drink in one of the local bars in the street. Six of us go to this cool bar, and five order mojitos and one (guess who?) orders a lemon, lime and bitters. We sit, drink and chat. Others go on about how delish their drink is, how I should try it, why don't I drink, ad naseum. I just say what I usually do: don't like it. Now I am a slow drinker..sip sip sip...I notice that my drink is about half full when people were getting a second and so didn't bother. Then when I go to take a sip, I notice that my glass is full...brimming! Two twatish guys had dumped their ice from their mojitos into my drink!

My drink is spoiled. I do not want to drink someone's backwash mojito flavoured ice. Plus surely, mucking about with a woman's drink is not really a thing to do, is it? I am so angry I explode. I tell the two twats orf..saying what hell were they playing at? They offer to buy me replacement drink. I refuse. I wanted to finish MY drink. I only wanted the one. I leave - was going to go anyway.

Now the men are saying it was just a joke and I am over-reacting.

Am I?

OP posts:

livinginwonderland · 08/03/2013 08:28

yabu. all you had to do was accept their apologies and the replacement drink. saying i wanted to finish MY drink smacks of childishness and you just throwing a strop for the sake of it. they apologised and offered to buy you a replacement, so i really don't see the issue here.

MidniteScribbler · 08/03/2013 08:28

Oops! Posted in the wrong thread. Have asked for it to be removed.

pictish · 08/03/2013 08:28

They put some ice from their drink into yours, right?
It's just some ice.

ethelb · 08/03/2013 08:28

I dont think the OP over reacted actually. It was a bullying thing to do. They mocked her for not drinking and when she wouldnt listen to them they spoiled her drink.

Why do women have to pretend that behaviour is ok? Why do they have to laugh it off?

If her SIL or MIL had done this i think the responses would be v different.

ivykaty44 · 08/03/2013 08:29

a joke makes everyone laugh

people often play pranks and then to cover their tracks tell the victim of their trick it was a joke It was a silly prank and we all know that pranks are not nice and can end badly.

They were badly behaved and down right rude - it wasn't a joke at all

pictish · 08/03/2013 08:29

Also...they even accoodated your petulance and offered you another drink...which you refused.

Your problem.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 08/03/2013 08:30

I don't drink either, also because I don't like the taste. Luckily I'm not surrounded by knobs and no one hassles me. I would be pissed off, mainly because I don't think it's on for your drink to be messed with. Surely that's one of the basics, keep an eye on your drink; never leave it unattended etc. Yes they were 'friends' and not meaning you any harm but that's not the point.

pictish · 08/03/2013 08:30

How is some ice 'spoiling' a drink. It's just some ice!!!

Original poster

drfayray · 08/03/2013 08:30

Oh I did not say that to them! The wanting to drink My drink bit.

Would these constitute real problems? Ex husband leaving me after 24 years of marriage for another woman and abandoning two children, thyroid cancer scare which still requires regular check ups, jobless for six months, son refusing to see his father for over a year and now my collar bone is fragmenting into my shoulder socket...I have reacted quite calmly to these problems which are quite real.

But this situation totally pissed me off. It was the not drinking bit that got to them I think. Why I do not know as usually do not say anything about drinking alcohol or not drinking alcohol...

I had on swirly skirt (excellent for Latin dancing) so had lovely flouncy twirly effect when I left...

OP posts:

Original poster

drfayray · 08/03/2013 08:32

No, not making it a racist rant. Just that white Aussies do have a rather uh..solid drinking culture. I am not a racist...ex is white and my children are mixed race.

OP posts:

captainmummy · 08/03/2013 08:34

YANBU - it was a disgusting thing to do. Other peoples' ice 'might' well be contaminated with all sorts of germs - and I agree, no-one should be fiddling with someone elses drink. My xdp once had a drink that had been 'spiked' (it was technically for someone else - a girl he was with) and had a blackout that lasted for hours. It's not funny.

Also, i knew a girl who was seriously allergic to alcohol. One taste had her ill enough to go to hospital.

Next time they ask why you don't drink, say you are allergic/religious grounds/pregnant?

Oh and trifle - you turned it into a racist comment.

livinginwonderland · 08/03/2013 08:35

bringing up their race does make it racist. it doesn't matter whether they're "white australian", french, polish, spanish or kenyan, you overreacted. they played a joke and you didn't like it, which is fine, but you could have just accepted their apology instead of making a big scene out of it.

Whocansay · 08/03/2013 08:36

YANBU to be annoyed. And you shouldn't have to make them 'understand' why you don't drink either. It's none of their business.

I would have accepted the apology and new drink though.

pictish · 08/03/2013 08:37

Mind you - if I had been there, I would've said 'ah come on now...don't do that'.
I don't think it's a storming off with a flourish offence though...not by a long chalk.

WinkyWinkola · 08/03/2013 08:39

It is a minging thing to do.

However, I would've just rolled my eyes and said, "That was a knobber thing to do. Can I have another drink now, please?"

ilovecolinfirth · 08/03/2013 08:40

Don't understand why they have to question you about not drinking. Why should you have to explain yourself. I think you are not being unreasonable.

ivykaty44 · 08/03/2013 08:40

pictish - would you want someone putting their fingers in your drink? The men would have used their fingers to scoop the ice from their drinks and put in the other glass.

fluffyraggies · 08/03/2013 08:41

Daft behaviour on their part - but that's as far as it goes IMO. I think you were OTT, should have just accepted the fresh drink and got on with your evening.

If you enjoy these people's company then get over it. If you don't - don't socialise with them after the class.

About the alcoholic comment - If the OP were such a newly recovered alcoholic that a bit of ice from an alcoholic drink would cause massive problems then she shouldn't have been putting herself in that social situation yet, (or ever), ie out drinking with drinkers.

Not sure about the peri-menopausal excuse Why do women so often post a problem here and then justify their feelings by the state of their hormones? Menstrual, pre menstrual, non menstrual, menopausal, peri menopausal. Cant we just feel what we're feeling without blaming it on what's going in our wombs FGS??

It gets my goat!
and breath.

pictish · 08/03/2013 08:42

I'm not that germ phobic, so I'd get over it.

Original poster

drfayray · 08/03/2013 08:42

Oh did not storm off. I just left albeit with a swirl...But did get angry as I said. As I also said I don't usually mention anything about drinking/not drinking. They kept on about it when they heard my drink order.

I grew up in Singapore where drinking was not part of my growing up. My son who is 17 is certainly experiencing a drink-based culture here. I accept it.

So my comment about them being white was pertinent. Not being racist.

OP posts:

pictish · 08/03/2013 08:42

Especially with the offer of a fresh drink.

Carry on over fuck all, this.

PurplePidjin · 08/03/2013 08:45

Yanbu. They were persistently trying to force you to do something you don't want to do. You were made to feel vulnerable by people you thought you could trust.

And at the idea you might want to drink their slobbery slush

Original poster

drfayray · 08/03/2013 08:45

Oh my doctor said that in this state...can have rage...so I thought..maybe that was why? As I have reacted reasonably calmly to other shite in my life.

OP posts:

hamdangle · 08/03/2013 08:45

It's the pestering you to drink that's the problem. I don't understand how not drinking affects them. I like a drink but I respect others' rights not to and I would never pester someone to try my drink if they didn't drink never mind tip some into their glass when they weren't looking!

Also, I don't want to make this worse but it's not backwash that I would be worried about either. How did they get the ice from their drink into yours? They can't have tipped it in so must have used their hands! I'm not one of those people who is paranoid about germs but I really wouldn't want someone to put their hands in my drink!

maddening · 08/03/2013 08:45

They are nobs - they are the type of idiots who play practical jokes which are hugely unfunny (though they will think they are hysterical)

But I would have accepted their apology and replacement drink.

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