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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I HATE HATE charity collectors at the door

121 replies

lemonstartree · 07/03/2013 20:06

we are bloody struggling like so many others. I KNOW there are people worse off than us and I contribute where I can. But I HATE people turning up at the doorstep guilt tripping / or trying to guilt trip me into giving money i DO NOT HAVE for causes I don't want to support

AIBU ?

OP posts:
pepperrabbit · 07/03/2013 20:10

YANBU.
It's the guilt trip thing - don't you care about dogs/cats/cancer/old people?
Yes I do. But i make my own decisions about charity donation, and I have no spare cash at the moment.

2cats2many · 07/03/2013 20:10

YANBU.

Don;t let them make you feel guilty!! They are chuggers. There's no difference beltween them and the people who occost you in the street.

I simply say that I never give to charities on the doorstep and say goodbye.

thezebrawearspurple · 07/03/2013 20:12

I don't answer, I always look through the peephole first and tell strangers to go away. If you don't have one, ask who it is. They can't pull you into a conversation through a closed door. Even if you do open it, just quickly say 'not interested' while closing the door.

Original poster
lemonstartree · 07/03/2013 20:14

ugh - I live in quite a nice house in quite a nice area and I can almost SEE them thinking 'she's tight. she could give but she wont' But the truth is that we are hanging on to the house by the skin of our teeth, the kids are in charity shop clothes and the heating is off. I want to tell then to FUCK OFF but I'm too soft :-(; I wish there was some kind of charity preference opt out - like there is for the post and for phones !

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 07/03/2013 20:14

I don't answer and they and they can see me not answering.

Unless you've got a parcel for me or a neighbour you can fuck off.

Particularly those fake scam duster selling fuckers!!!

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 07/03/2013 20:16

YANBU, i dont have much money money, i donate to charity shops, via stuff thats good, but not needed, you dont have to part with money to support charities.

CloudsAndTrees · 07/03/2013 20:20

Yanbu. I am big on charity, but I despise door to door chugging. It is just so intrusive and rude.

INeverSaidThat · 07/03/2013 20:22

Door to door collections are totally unacceptable in my opinion. It is intrusive.

Smartiepants79 · 07/03/2013 20:25

The worst are those that come and ask you to donate then tell you they are not allowed to take cash or cheque!
They then try and get you to give over your bank details and sign up to monthly contributions.
Should be illegal.

SnowHOHOboarder · 07/03/2013 20:26

They usually wake up one or both of my babies too so I find myself with one miserable baby on my hip stood in the doorway while we both freeze, whilst the other is bawling upstairs.

I already give to a charity (of MY choice, not one that has guilted me into it!) and I can ill afford to do that at the moment.

Sickofthesnow · 07/03/2013 20:30

Our local council sent out "No cold callers" stickers to everyone in the area and ours is stuck on our front door.
Yet the charity collectors seem to not see it? I give to charity, I donate all the kids outgrown clothes, toys etc to charity shops in the high street.
But the people who are trying to get me to hand over bank details don't care.
I always ask for a website to look up their charity and make the decision themselves. Most are ok with this but some get arsey.
Do they get paid commission for each persons bank details they get?!

HumptyDumptyBumpty · 07/03/2013 20:30

YANBU. Charities (and i speak as a charity worker) need to understand that it's all well and good donating IF you can afford it, but if you can't, you will end up making the overall situation worse if you give when you can't afford it - you'll only end up needing to take from a different charity.

thezebrawearspurple · 07/03/2013 20:32

You have to stop caring what these twits think, their opinion of you is unimportant, you don't owe them any explanation. They don't care that they are annoying, pestering, stressing and being rude to you so why should you care about their opinion. Tbh, they're just looking at you and thinking 'mug or no?'.

thixotropic · 07/03/2013 20:33

I tell chuggers that I have no spare cash to give, but that instead I donate my time to some good causes of my choosing.

Fillyjonk75 · 07/03/2013 20:34

I agree. I'd never just give my bank details to a random person, far too much potential for fraud. In fact I tend to assume any strangers trying to extract money from me at the door is a criminal so they needn't bother.

Scariest recently was a bloke asking for gold jewellery to sell, on the doorstep. He had put a leaflet through the door to which I had not responded (!) and he was quite sure I MUST have some gold jewellery I wanted to sell. Hmm

Fillyjonk75 · 07/03/2013 20:37

Once someone called me a "fucking bitch" in the street as I wouldn't buy their "student" "charity" mag. Truth was, I'd bought something similar a few weeks before which was pretty shocking- full of racist and sexist jokes, so I was pretty sure than no charity or student union would support that...

HildaOgden · 07/03/2013 20:38

I tell them all I'm already signed up to whatever charity they are flogging.(and they are flogging it,the vast majority are being paid to do it).

Don't feel guilty.You haven't committed a sin or a crime bestows blessing Smile

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 07/03/2013 20:39

Scariest recently was a bloke asking for gold jewellery to sell, on the doorstep. He had put a leaflet through the door to which I had not responded (!) and he was quite sure I MUST have some gold jewellery I wanted to sell.

Not everyone has gold jewellery, none of my jewellery is gold. He musta been a criminal.

Iaintdunnuffink · 07/03/2013 20:39

Open door, look, smile, say no thanks, close door.

Inthebeginning · 07/03/2013 20:40

I had a charity man come to the door and ask me to give for disabled children. I said no (I never trust door to door people) he started on at me that I was willing to abandon disabled children, shame on me and he pitied any children I had.
I was so upset I was shaking. I was going through fertility treatment at the time. I demanded to see his details on his card and he just laughed in my face and walled off.
I'm ashamed to say that I shouted after him in the street.
I phoned the council to see if they could tell me who it was as I knew they had to have permits but they said they could only confirm the name of a charity if I said it! Was fuming!

lurkerspeaks · 07/03/2013 20:40

I've started e.mailing the charity concerned to complain. Especially when the collectors get theeir facts wrong eg. the collectors for VSO who told me a whole pile of shite.

(I know a lot about VSO - my sister has volunteered for them before as have a couple of friends. I normally support their work but this really annoyed me).

I'm also trying to get my 93 year old Gran off the charity mail circuit. So far I have written 23 letters asking different charities to stop sending her mail. The only one who have responded positively was rather appropriately ageUK.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/03/2013 20:47

YANBU. I live in flats where they have to ring the buzzer to be let in, and some of them just lean on the buzzer until they get an answer. Then they're surprised you say you won't let them in.

There is a big 'no cold callers' sign on the door.

Dawndonna · 07/03/2013 20:58

Inthebeginning I had a chap do that to me, told me I was heartless not caring about the disabled, you should have seen his face when I called dd through, he went every colour of the rainbow seeing her in her wheelchair. He didn't fucking apologise though when dd told him he should be ashamed of himself commenting on things he knew nothing about.

BrandNewRetro · 07/03/2013 20:59

You can write to the charity, and the agency they use to do the doorstepping, to get your address 'blacklisted' and taken off the list of houses they visit. I did that a couple of years ago when my partner was a victim of high pressure doorstep charity selling and signed up to a direct debit of £100 per year. We obviously got the direct debit refunded and cancelled as well!

It took quite a few ranty emails and phone calls to get there, though.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 07/03/2013 21:03

Dawn, Now thats fucking Karma for ya. what a twat.