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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I HATE HATE charity collectors at the door

121 replies

lemonstartree · 07/03/2013 20:06

we are bloody struggling like so many others. I KNOW there are people worse off than us and I contribute where I can. But I HATE people turning up at the doorstep guilt tripping / or trying to guilt trip me into giving money i DO NOT HAVE for causes I don't want to support

AIBU ?

OP posts:
Original poster
lemonstartree · 07/03/2013 21:16

so you lot either 1. don't open the door or 2. tell them straight away - I don't give at the door or words to that effect ...

good idea .... are these people pain to do this ? I always thought they were volunteers ?

OP posts:
Melawen · 07/03/2013 21:24

They are truly a pain in the proverbial! I once had someone try and tell me incorrect facts about deafness - and I should know cos I'm deaf myself! I usually get rid of them by playing deafer than usual Grin but often say have you got a website that I can look at - yes - thanks bye!

CloudsAndTrees · 07/03/2013 21:26

If they come around selling poppies or asking you to fill an envelope for save the children or other Christian based charities, they are usually volunteers. But if they come round with a clipboard asking you for bank details, they are paid. They aren't paid by the charity though, they get paid by an agency that the charity uses, so they generally aren't especially interested in the charity they are collecting for, they will collect for any charity they are given.

I volunteer for a large national charity, and I was gutted when I heard they were going to start using this method of extortion collecting donations. When I got the email asking me to tell my friends and family that our charity was doing this so that they would be more likely to give, I did complain. But it made no difference.

Sparklingbrook · 07/03/2013 21:28

I have this little beauty So far so good. Smile

LoganMummy · 07/03/2013 21:29

Like a previous poster our council sent out "no cold caller" stickers branded by both them and police. We've only had a couple of charity people chance it but as soon as they start talking I point to the sign and ask them if they missed it. Usually works.

curlyclaz13 · 07/03/2013 21:34

as someone else has already said I tell them I already donate. I did feel a bit guilty at first but not anymore I don't want my evening interrupting by people begging. I am capable of making my own decisions about who I donate to.

maddening · 07/03/2013 22:13

They get paid commission- that puts me off and I don't feel bad saying no and shutting the door.

Don't offer a reason - gives them a chance to cone back with sales pitch

Whoknowswhocares · 07/03/2013 22:23

Im always tempted to tell them I will sign up online to save the charity some money and thank them for the idea!

Do not engage in conversation. No thanks and close the door is quite enough

Cherriesarelovely · 07/03/2013 22:26

I completely agree with you. This makes me SO angry. The thing that most pisses me off is when they say "All of your neighbours have agreed to help us out" and you know they are lying! Now I just say "I'm not going to donate, let's not waste both our time" and shut the door. I agree it ought to be illegal especially the "give us your bank details" one.

Talkinpeace · 07/03/2013 22:30

"I am sorry but I have a policy of never buying anything or donating anything to anybody who knocks on my door.
If your charity ever wish to receive a donation from me in future, please make sure that you never knock on my door again"

""I am sorry but I have a policy of never buying anything or donating anything to anybody who knocks on my door.
If what your company was selling was worth having, I would be knocking on your door."

Squitten · 07/03/2013 22:31

As with so much in life, Tim Minchin has the answer:

twitter.com/timminchin/status/173789696919486468

Anja1Cam · 07/03/2013 22:36

Aha, more words of wisdom from TIP Smile

Indeed I say something to that effect - I'm not signing ANYTHING on the door step nor am I giving any money. Give me your bumph if you have to, but I choose my own charities for donations / things to buy, power companies to sign up to / and contact them directly...

Luckily I am out a lot of the time they come by or we just don't get many callers.

Ullena · 07/03/2013 23:08

I have a small tin filled to maximum rattle level with a handful of coins that I counter flourish at door to door types, along with wildly embellished details of everything that DH and I have done in support of animals/disabled people/developing countries/environment/local hospice/alien abductees/insert random charity of choice here.

Strangely, they never call twice...Grin We do give to charity, just not the ones that pester us!

whateveritakes · 07/03/2013 23:16

FFS they are just students or the like trying to make a bit of money for themselves whilst supporting a good cause. I am always impressed how cheery they are afer they long days of being told to Sod Off.

Just tel them you support something else and shut the door. it's no big one.

What I want to know is who are the "youth offenders" who come round selling stuff. Seriously no one actually thinks that people want to buy 99p shop stuff for a fiver from an ex offender on their doorstep?

guffaw · 07/03/2013 23:46

I collect for Christian Aid, once a year, posting envelopes and collecting them later in the same week. I hate doing it to be honest, but am usually met with great courtesy by the people whose doors I knock on. We (volunteers) are advised not to pester people, and to be just as grateful for an empty envelope returned, or for one with a few pennies in, as for a 'heavy' one, and sometimes, I've been treated to a lovely chat with the person who answers the door. It really makes a difference, and most years - bearing in mind there are only about 10 of doing it from my Church) we make a few hundred pounds, made up of coppers and other loose change for the most part. Must admit, I've been sorely tempted to fill my envelopes from my change jar, instead of posting them out, but haven't done this (so far)

PoppyWearer · 07/03/2013 23:56

I've posted about this before but actually cancelled my Direct Debit to St. John's Ambulance the evening a chugger turned up on my doorstep about 7pm, just as I was struggling to get the DCs upstairs to go to bed. She watched me though the glass in the door, saw my DC1 was crying (having a tired tantrum), that I was struggling to hold onto baby-DC2, made eye contact with me and still rang the fucking doorbell. With a smirk on her face.

And then refused to believe me when I told her I already gave to her charity!

I did email and tell the charity why I was cancelling.

RSPCA also pissed me off with their non-stop calling, even when I did support them by Direct Debit (for a very short period, before anyone flames me!) they called repeatedly asking me to increase the amount. In the end I did agree to amend my Direct Debit....to zero.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 07/03/2013 23:56

I do feel for the young people doing this job, I don't think you should be so mean.

They've managed to get employment, they're probably enthusiastic about the cause they're pushing, they're just trying to get by. Same as most of us.

I do think that charities need to realise that whilst they might get a certain number of sign ups, and enough to make a profit, the negative PR of these campaigns is putting people off giving more. I'd like to see some research on that tbh.

PoppyWearer · 07/03/2013 23:57

FWIW the "lady" chugger who annoyed me was an older woman.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 07/03/2013 23:59

Oh well that's ok then, to be mean to the person trying to earn a living.

Just say no thanks and close the door.

meddie · 08/03/2013 00:22

Can't abide them and yes it does put me off donating to the particular charity that's being pedaled. I work nights and these and the double glazing/loft insulation/ next doors couriers delivering a parcel are the bane of my life.

INeverSaidThat · 08/03/2013 01:15

sparklingbrook. Good idea. I have ordered one. Smile

StitchAteMySleep · 08/03/2013 01:25

They always bloody turn up just as I am putting the kids to bed.

I just tell them politely I am not interested. No need to be rude, everyone needs money and jobs are in short supply these days. Does put me off the charities that do this though. I don't mind street chuggers, at least you can avoid them.

I did pop out the other night when I could hear them doing their sales pitch to my neighbour who has dementia, just to warn them off. The guy was very friendly and amicable about it actually.

AdoraBell · 08/03/2013 01:30

I don't give a flying fuck what charity collectors think of me, so if I ever move back and get called heartless, uncaring, abandoning disabled children's etc by someone who doesn't know me I'll give the same answer DD1 gets when she tells me I'm mean - big smile and "yep, that's me"

I support the charities I choose to support and I don't explain or justify those to anyone.

NynaevesSister · 08/03/2013 06:56

I just say I'm not interested in as nice a way as possible.

If they are rude to me I just shut the door on them. Those that keep pushing after you have said no are the worst.

Last night though one asked if she could use the loo. I hadn't really seen her badge, I didn't recognise the charity name (NPD) and ten years ago was scammed by someone doing something similar. I explained I was on my own with kids so no but there was a pub on the corner and a public loo in the train station opposite both only a two min walk. She said she couldn't hold that long. But I still said no. Was I right?

WeAreEternal · 08/03/2013 07:14

I am the same, I live in a house that looks like we have much more money than we do, (it looked like a derilict shack when we bought it though, so I am very roud of it)

At least once a week we get the 'Don't you care about the homeless/poor/elderly/animals/children/whatever'
And the 'Come on its not like you cant spare a few quid is it?'

I donate to several charities when I can, but usually I dont have spare money to just give away.
I hate that they just assume I do.
And I hate that they make me feel guilty about it.