to think that I should be able to go into a bar without being sexually assaulted?

[BubblegumPie]

I am quite drunk so sorry for any typos/incomprehensible..ness

I have just been on a rare night out with DH. DH is a music journalist and I went with him to a gig he was reviewing, we had a lovely night and then joined some friends from another band in a different bar after the gig.

I bought us a drink and then as the bar was packed I held my drink up high so that I didn't spill it on anyone, as I walked past a man, he groped my breast. I threw my drink in his face and asked him what he thought he was playing at, he laughed in my face so I slapped him (I don;t normally condone violence, but I guess my emotions overtook my reasoning) his friend then poured a drink over me, so I chucked what was left of mine over him and gave them both a piece of my mind. They both and the women with them went on to laugh at me and make fun of me.

DH and band were very supportive and kind and I felt really daft because I ended up crying and being comfroted by the lead singer of the band.

AIBU to think that I should be able to walk through a bar and not be fucking groped by some random cunt?? I don't think I am!!!! Urgh, just needed to get this off my chest before I got to sleep.

[Crawling]

I feel bad that I didnt tell the police but for some reason I couldnt remember what he looked like at all. Not even hair colour. So I thought it was pointless.

[BubblegumPie]

Aldi like I said I appreciate all the replies, even the ones challenging me. In an ideal world I would not have hit him, but got a photo and contacted the police with the picture. But In an ideal world I would not have been groped in the first place.

[Crawling]

While the club was open and I was always sent in alone too which is probably a very bad idea.

[BubblegumPie]

Oh crawling I'm so sorry that happened to you How terrifying.

[Crawling]

Hillbilly men did clean the womens toilet while it was open they didnt really care about rules or anything they employed me on the bar at 17.

[BubblegumPie]

They do, as long as they knock and call out to say that they are male and are coming in to clean it's supposed to be ok Stupid idea.

[Crawling]

Yep also used to make you clean blood up with no gloves available it was a horrid place to work but as a student it was good money above min wage and I used to get a free cab home so I didnt question to much.

[mrsstewpot]

I've been thinking about this thread all day and I'm so angry on your behalf OP. That man, his mate and the 2 women they were with should be ashamed of themselves.

Several years ago whilst on a coach I was groped by a male passenger sitting on the aisle seat and I just froze. I did nothing.

I would give anything to go back in time a smack him one. I really don't care if that is considered the wrong reaction. I felt trapped and vulnerable and he banked on the fact that I would be scared and just accept what was happening.

Completely understand what others are saying about getting yourself into trouble by reacting the way you did, but ultimately he bloody deserved it.

Hope you're ok OP - you have my sympathy and my admiration.

[BubblegumPie]

I've been teary eyed all day and it's brought back memories of being about 10, walking home from school with a medal I had won, a man stopped me to ask about the medal and then to 'congratulate' me made me kiss him on the lips. Which I did. I didn't want to but I felt intimidated by him and thought if I did so he'd leave me alone. Thankfully afterwards I managed to run off but I felt dirty and ashamed for years afterwards, the filthy bastard probably went home and wanked over it. I've never told anyone about it.

[flippinada]

Bubblegum I'm not surprised. Stuff like that can "remind" you of similar incidents from your past.

Don't beat yourself up for how you reacted, you had an awful shock.

Sadly I'm not surprised at the involvement of women. I had a similar incident happened to me on a bus a while back, I was so shaky and upset after.

[andubelievedthat]

if u are in a drinking establishment where the bouncers ? will give a patron a "right seeing to" out the back ,as some posters are suggesting ,trust me on this one, you are in the wrong place. there are 2 laws (?) one > up in court law ,and ,"in the allayway ,law, u choose, and in chosing one u are chosing two(iuswim)

[flippinada]

Sorry last para sounds a bit odd.

To clarify, the incident that happened to me, women were involved, standing up for the assaulter.

I was made to feel like I was being embarrassing ave making a scene by standing up for myself.

[Darkesteyes]

Sorry to hear this has happened to you Bubblegum. Last nights incident and the one when you were a child.
I think i would either have reacted the way you did or just froze. In a way its like a reflex action to immediately defend yourself. In a situation like that there isnt time to stand there and analyse.
Sadly im also not surprised at the involvement of those handmaidens.
Hope you are ok

[ShellyBoobs]

So sorry to hear about your awful experience, OP.

I think it's absolutely acceptable to react to an assault like that in the way you did.

The vile pervert who assaulted you is obviously used to getting away with sexual assault; perhaps he'll think twice now?

[PurpleMacaroon]

I'm sorry I'm slightly confused by your second OP as you said -

i bought myself and my husband a drink, we were both holding our own drinks.

As a knee jerk reaction, I chucked my drink in his face

tipped a drink down my top, so I threw my drink over him and had a go at him

How did you manage to chuck the same drink over two different people twice?

[BubblegumPie]

There was some left.

I'm not very practiced in throwing drinks over people, maybe I did it wrong [shrugs]

[BubblegumPie]

bloody emoticons

Maybe it's [shrug]

[BubblegumPie]

nope! Bah

[ChildlikeConfusion]

There isn't a shrug emoticon - that's probably why it didn't work.

[BubblegumPie]

There is, I've seen people use it. It might have a different name though

[MidnightMasquerader]

Do you mean the hmm emoticon?

[BubblegumPie]

no, there's a little head with some arms I think.

[ChildlikeConfusion]

Never seen a shrug one on Mumsnet.

Only ever the Smileys listed beneath.