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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think teaching isn't the idea career for mums?

216 replies

alisunshine29 · 27/02/2013 14:25

I'm studying for a degree at the moment and had planned to complete my PGCE afterwards but since speaking to the mum of DD's friend I've changed my mind. She's a teacher at the same school as her daughters and they go to breakfast club from 8 and after school club til. 6. She said they are in bed for 7 and then she has a couple of hours more work to do every night, plus a days worth at the weekend. She gets to attend nativity etc but only because they're at the same school otherwise she'd miss those events. AIBU to think a 9-5 job might actually be more practical?

OP posts:
DSM · 27/02/2013 14:30

You are joking, yes?

What do you think will happen in your '9-5' job?! You can't waltz out at 3pm to collect them, nor leave for nativitys etc (which are only for the first 2 years normally anyway)

And you don't get the school holidays off work.

This is a reverse thread, right?

DSM · 27/02/2013 14:30

Oh, sorry to clarify - YABU and Ridiculous

CailinDana · 27/02/2013 14:30

The holidays are fab but during term time you're working all hours. Yanbu

NinaHeart · 27/02/2013 14:32

I'm not sure I know of anyone in a 9-5 job who actually works 9-5. I'm out of the house at least 7-7 in mine, no lunch break and 5 weeks annual holiday. And I used to be a teacher...

DSM · 27/02/2013 14:33

And what about dads who teach, is it alright for them?

Agree with nina - I think you have a warped idea about what a 9-5 job entails.

brainonastick · 27/02/2013 14:38

No, its not perfect during term time, but no full time job is compatible with actually seeing your children much during the week, unless you are working for yourself/working from home.

Only part time work will really enable you to see the children during the week, and that has potentially massive downsides (e.g. lack of career progression). Or SAHM of course.

I'm impressed you are thinking about this now. Most women get to the point where you realise there is no perfect solution, and then wail about why no one told you before!

And yes, I know it should be a dad's problem too - so factor in marrying a man with a lovely flexible job to your equation Smile

Vagndidit · 27/02/2013 14:39

It works for some mums, but it's certainly not the sort of career one easily takes on with small children at home. Those that take it on thinking it's "family friendly" are in for a rude awakening which is why I'm an ex-teacher At least with a non teaching job, I can schedule holiday time when I want and not have to sacrifice all evenings, weekends and term breaks for the sake of planning and marking.

brainonastick · 27/02/2013 14:39

Sorry - lovely flexible well paid job Wink

aldiwhore · 27/02/2013 14:39

You'll always find someone who tries to put you off what they do. You'll always find people who love to complain about how hard they work, how little time they have, how awful their lives are (the fmls).

If you want to teach, teach. If you want a naice jobthat fits around family EVERYDAY leaving you able to do every school run and spend every waking hour of the weekend, and school holidays with them, then you're looking at teaching and working full time from teh wrong angle.

There's nothing wrong with having 'an ideal' situation in mind, but life and work is about compromise and balance.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 27/02/2013 14:42

Won't the holidays be something of a positive, though? If you have DCs, can your DH or DP attend events? You'll still see plenty of your children. Perhaps part-time teaching would be ideal for you if you can manage on less income. Depending on what you are teaching, coaching is always in demand.

morethanpotatoprints · 27/02/2013 14:45

I taught Post Compulsory for a while, I didn't manage it with good support from dh. This might be because at heart I am a sahm.
I did miss a lot and also had work during the evenings, weekends and didn't get all summer or all half terms as holiday. The pay was bad in comparison to Primary as well.
There are plenty of people who do manage it though. I think teaching is a calling though, not something you choose to be particularly child friendly.
Whatever you job you take there will obviously be some sacrifices to family life.

FunnysInLaJardin · 27/02/2013 14:47

In a way YANBU. I work 9-5 in the sort of job which means I don't have to work extra hours and can take time off for school stuff if I need to. I can also do drop off.

DH is a teacher and doesn't have any flexibility during the school day. So he can't pick up/drop off and can rarely get to school plays etc. But the big plus for us is that all the school holidays are covered and that really does compensate for the other stuff. Besides with us both not teaching we get to cover all the school stuff

Zipbangboom · 27/02/2013 14:48

Supply teaching can really work if you need to have days off, want to leave earlier and be less committed. I did it when my children were little and loved it. The down side is that there is no guaranteed income but if you are good you can easily be fully booked. Schools are using supply teachers less now but I have friends who make a healthy income from it.

KellyElly · 27/02/2013 14:49

What do you think us parents in our stess free 9-5 jobs do in the holidays????? I have a 9-5 and have to leave home at 8 and don't get back until 6 and DD is in bed at 7, so only get to see her for the same amount of time a working teacher would. I also only have four weeks paid holiday a year. I am really failing to understand your point.

FunnysInLaJardin · 27/02/2013 14:51

oh and the other downside for DH is that he deals with kids all day and then deals with kids every evening and every holiday. It is quite exhausting for him from the POV of headspace

ceramicunicorn · 27/02/2013 14:51

So you've decided to change your entire career path based on one conversation? Did you really think that teaching involved leaving at 3.30?

motherofvikings · 27/02/2013 14:52

But there isn't an ideal career for mums at all.

If you work you always miss something.

It's about finding a balance of what you need financially and for your own self worth etc and what you feel your dc need.

I was a teacher and now I'm sahm. I don't miss it but 5 years and 5 heads in one school will do that...

soverylucky · 27/02/2013 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

defineme · 27/02/2013 14:52

I think it depends on your subject at secondary and your work ethic! I think primary must be very difficult.My dh could work all night every night, but restricts himself to certain nights. He has a position of responsibility so has more hours in school time to do work and gets in early to do work before school starts. He works the odd day in the holidays, but not many.
I'm a part time teacher and never work when the kids are home/evenings. Career progression is limited, but I'm still paying into a pension and have a steady job. I was able to walk straight into a job after 9 years as a sahm.
My dm and inlaws do my school runs on the days I work and cover any plays or inset days I can't cover too. I also do evening tuition that pays for extras like holidays.
Tbh I feel like I'm blessed that I fell onto a PGCE course when I couldn't think what to do with my life all those years ago. I love the kids I teach and I'm happy to go to work.
So teaching can be a very good job for parents and it really depends on your circumstances.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 27/02/2013 14:53

YABU and blinkered!!

How do you think us mums who do a full time 9-5 job cope in the school holidays. It's no bed of roses I can assure you. And yes, like the poster above said, we only get 4 weeks hol per year, 9 weeks less than a teacher.

lainiekazan · 27/02/2013 14:53

I think it is better to be a secondary school teacher. And pick a subject with not much marking.

Some secondary school teachers worked damn hard. Others don't.

Only it would be a bit of a bad idea to go into something purely with the idea of not working very hard.

PatriciaHolm · 27/02/2013 14:57

I think you'll find anyone who works full time probably has their children in some sort of childcare from 8-6, and many aren't going to be able to drop everything to see nativities etc. She probably sees more of her kids events than most fulltime working parents do!

Have to say, if this is all it takes to put you off the PGCE, maybe it isn't for you. Teacher training, and teaching, are hard work.

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 27/02/2013 14:58

FWIW I'm an ex-teacher and I agree with you to a certain extent. For me the 9-5 is a lot better because I live very close to work so only a 5 minute commute, then there's flexi time, meaning I can plan my days to suit child care and my DH's shifts. And the magic that is working from home. Plus I never have to do any work outside of my regular hours anymore.
Not the same for those who are out of the house from7-7 though

MrsHoarder · 27/02/2013 15:00

See I think that if you've got a 2 parent household it would be ideal to have one teacher and one non-teacher. Then holidays are dealt with easily but one parent has that bit more time/flexibility during termtime that teachers just don't get.

But I think that teaching is a vocation that a lot of people including me aren't cut out for.

chocoholic05 · 27/02/2013 15:01

I have three teacher friends who job share so work part time. They feel that way they get the best of both worlds. On the days they aren't working they can take to and pick up from school they get school hols off and can usually make it to school plays either cos its their not working day or by swapping with their job share partner. However I see your point re working fulltime as a teacher